To be a bit pissed off at DMs rudeness about me not eating meat?

[Notevenwensleydale]

At the start of the year, I stopped eating meat. I'd been thinking about doing it for a while and decided to go for it. However both DP and my 16mo DS still eat meat and I have absolutely no objection to it, or to cooking it for them either. I did it partly as I wasn't a big meat eater anyway, party for ethical reasons and partly just to see if I could. I have no intentions on preaching about animal cruelty etc to others, and never have done, even though I feel that way personally. I still eat fish and I really really don't feel that I'm being 'awkward' or 'fussy' to anybody, it's my choice and I don't push it on anyone else- it's really not a big deal to me.
But my Mum! She comments every time we go round things like "I have no idea what to cook you now you're vegetarian, why on earth would you want to give up meat?!" I tell her I'll eat anything that isn't meat! Happy to eat fish, or anything Quorn or Linda McCartney etc. She's absolutely perplexed by the idea of it all. Last time we went round for a buffet, I didn't ask her to do anything special for me and was happy to just eat things that just happen not to be eat meat- salad, garlic bread, crisps, potatoes etc. But she made this big song and dance about how she'd bought this quiche especially for me so I best be grateful, and it looked to everyone else there that I'd been making awkward special requests about a quiche (I'm not even that fussed on quiche, but obviously ate it).
Today was similar, they had a BBQ and yesterday I got a text asking me if I would like some Quorn pepper steaks she'd seen in Asda. I was shocked as this seemed to be against her hatred of vegetarianism! I was going to bring my own food but was grateful and said that would be lovely. When we got there she told everyone she'd 'had' to buy special things for me and make extra effort and that it was 'ridiculous' that there were such things as Quorn steaks. I offered her a bit to try and she turned her nose up and went "urgh no thanks!" She also made a big bowl of cous cous especially for me but then went on to say that no one else liked it. I'm grateful she made an effort to accommodate me but I didn't expect it, and would rather it without the comments every time.
Is it just me who finds this really odd behaviour? I rarely mention it and am happy to just fit it around meat eaters as not to inconvenience anyone with MY choice. It doesn't define me, it's just food

@sizeofalentil This is also her argument for why lesbians shouldn't be allowed dildos.

This is the funniest thing I've read for ages!

Agreed! Sizeofalentil's mum is cracking me up. I dread to think how the she expects the policing of sausage/dildo enjoyment to be enforced.

OP I think you might be able to bring your mum round by asking her "does anyone ever make a big deal about you not having sugar, how would you feel if they did?"

The trouble is that some people think that your choices are secretly judging theirs. So some people think you should be vegetarian or vegan while others think you should be eating meat.

I've got lots of friends who are non-meat eaters and veggies. I have enjoyed trying new recipes, as I try to be a good host. (Who knew that adding peanut butter to Quorn chilli was sooo good?) Same as I do for any guests with diabetes, coeliac condition, even my former MIL who developed a serious kiwi allergy in her late 50s! The only thing I ask from guests with particular food needs/preferences is that they tell me and give me enough time to sort things out for them, not just as they walk through the door.

Sizeofalentil thanks for making me laugh, that's brilliant!

I sympathise with your Mum. I can't be bothered with fussy eaters and don't entertain them if I can help it. Not eating this and not eating that and one month a vegetarian and the next month something else. It's really irritating.

Yer I may actually use the sugar thing the next time she comments, as it may hit home if she can relate to it! It doesn't upset me. It it's just gotten really annoying and embarrassing in front of other people.
neolara that's an interesting point. I could see how some people could relate food to 'love' in that way. I'm not sure that's what my Mum does though, I think she's just a little closed minded and ignorant to things she doesn't know a lot about/believe in.

vivienne I would completely agree with your post if I was a 'fussy eater'. We don't have a large group of people over much as we live in a flat currently, but I can imagine it would be annoying catering for several different fussy eaters.
However, I tell her i will literally eat anything that isn't meat, you don't have to get anything special for me so it's no skin off her nose. I've never asked her to get anything specific in for me and I'm happy to bring my own. Also, I stopped eating meat 6 months ago and that's the only specific choice I've made about food in my life.

Pinkyredrose.. she's always disliked me, but she turned a leaf when my DS was born. However he doesn't enjoy meat either, so I think she's switched on me again. Clearly rubbing my bad habits onto him .
I'd love to stop eating with her, but she has a thing about family meals sadly. It doesn't happen half as much as it used to though thankfully.

I eat fish but not meat too OP and you do get this shite from people. Like 'why even bother then?'
I expect when they accidently throw a milk container in the big bin instead of the recycling they then have to give up on the concept all together and just chuck everything in the big bin because 'why even bother then?'
They probably never give to charity because they could only afford to give a fiver and that wont really help will it so 'why even bother then?'
When they forget to turn all the lights out when they go out, from that moment on they just leave every single light on in the house 24/7 because 'why even bother then?'

FFS just do what you can you know! Just doing it a bit does actually help. Even cutting down meat intake to just one day a week does actually help both in terms of your health and the environment.

As for your mum she does sound like a bit of a nightmare. She may be one of those defensive people that seems to think your choices are a comment on her choices. Just ignore it.

My mum was the same. I baked a pie at Christmas from scratch when we were hosting, with cranberries, nuts and 4 different types of cheese in. It took me ages. Everyone else ate it, even my grandparents, but my mum refused to even touch it because it was 'vegetarian' and brought her own turkey in a container........

My DH is vegetarian and my DM really struggled when he came to dinner. She went through a stage where no matter what she was serving it came with beans and cheese, and by the time of her death it has morphed into most of a packet of whatever quorn thing was was on special. So if we were having roast he'd have a gazillion quorn nuggets, potatoes, Yorkshire and veg. Or a half dozen quorn sausages with potatoes, Yorkshire and veg.

Who gives a shit about the meat/fish/ flesh/veggie /pescatarian etc.

That's not the OP's point

Very funny re: lesbianism and dildos

If you eat fish you ARE NOT VEGETARIAN

Raven seems an absolute weirdo.

But yeah, some people get really odd about other people's dietary choices. Seems like insecurity to me.

My in laws are like this. 'What on earth will you eat???' Everything you are eating, except for the meat. It's not rocket science.

Flabbergasted at so many people ignoring the original point and jumping on the fish eating, why bother commenting?

Anyway, in response to OP, no, if you make no specific requests and don't expect to be catered to, YANBU

tiptop yes I completely agree! Every little helps! I've thought about giving up fish at some point and maybe at some point I will, maybe I won't, I've not decided yet. But I HAVE given up meat and I think it's still that anyone would criticise someone for doing that as they're not completely vegan, but surely it's better than it was before? Makes no sense.

Not that the fish/meat thing was at all the point of my post. Stupidly I didn't see that one coming.

thesaylamparanlid yes Thankyou for that, but I didn't say I was a vegetarian (my mum calls me one), and have already clarified that I am pescatarian. RTFT

Thanks Bumdish it seems there are no escaping the MNetters who can't resist to have a go at an OP, even if it's not even relevant to the post

OP I sympathise - I'm vegan and there is always that one person in the crowd who can't resist turning their nose up at my meal (something I consider v. rude in general, even if you all have the same general preferences). I don't understand why as surely it has no impact on them! But then it does, because you are indirectly criticising their choices (as they see it). Fucks them right off

I suggest that you tell your mum you've seen the light and that you now eat meat again. She will scrutinise your plate a few times at family get-togethers in order to confirm this, then forget all about it. You can then get on with being pescatarian in peace

I don't think people are having a go at you for eating fish (or we'd have to have a go at every meat-eating poster) it's the linking of still-eating-fish with being a vegetarian, which does cause real-life problems to vegetarians.

I didn't refer to myself as a vegetarian. I never do. I say 'I don't eat meat'. The two occasions I mention the word vegetarian/vegetarianism in my OP I am referring to what my Mum thinks- and my Mum's attitude to it all annoys me- hence my post.