My DD is 10 and sees her dad every other weekend and some extra during holidays. I have wondered about mild SN in the past - one of the reasons being because she can get very hysterical very quickly over minor things. She hates being enclosed, any slight injury or pain and bodily related things like being ill, having her hair or nails cut.
Bearing this in mind; her toe nails have a fungal infection. She can't bare to look at them and getting samples to send for analysis was extremely difficult. Because of the infection, they grow very slowly yet her dad is insisting on cutting them every time she sees him. I'm not exaggerating when I say that she is horrifically upset over having her nails cut. She panics and screams like she's being murdered.
She's come back from his several times now saying he has forced her to let him cut her nails. I've asked how he can force her (knowing how difficult it is to persuade her) and she's said she gets as upset as she does at home but he pins her down and does it anyway. He later laughs about it. I've pointed out to her that she would be absolutely livid about being pinned down if I were to do it and that she'd tell me so and that no one has a right to do something to her body that she doesn't want them to. I've told her she needs to stand up to him and say it's unacceptable but she said she's worried he won't see her anymore if she does. I said that she can't carry on letting him hurt and upset her on that basis but she then clams up.
Having tackled him, he thinks she needs to get over it and is being ridiculous to get in such a state about it all. He doesn't see anything wrong in what he's doing. AIBU to think pinning a child down is absolutely wrong and to take matters out of her hands and tell him that if it happens again then contact will be restricted until he takes matters to court?