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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel overwhelmed by shopping for first baby?

52 replies

NotQuiteJustYet · 02/06/2017 16:39

DH and I are expecting our first child. I'm currently about 12 weeks pregnant so I figured at some point I'm going to actually have to start purchasing baby things.

The very concept of shopping for a baby seems very overwhelming right now, I have no idea where to start and it's making me feel completely clueless when it comes to babies - almost like if I can't even manage to shop, how on earth will I cope with a little one?

Any suggestions would be incredibly welcome.

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 02/06/2017 16:41

I think I did most of mine around the 6 month mark. Bit of a mine field but you've got time to sit on it for a while of do casual research.

reetgood · 02/06/2017 16:45

Yanbu but i'm 9 weeks, I don't plan to buy anything until much later! Apart from anything else I am a bit cautious e.g. What if it doesn't go according to plan.

There's lots of marketing about what you 'need' but as far as I can gather what you mostly need is things for baby to sleep in, things for baby to poop in, things to put on baby, things to transport baby, things to feed baby or associated with feeding baby.

You don't have to solve it all now and you've got what, 6 months before this becomes a really pressing issue. Also, shops are still open after you've given birth.

If you are displacing feelings of being overwhelmed with omg baby with omg baby stuff that's totally understandable. The stuff is the least important bit, but it's much more concrete and easy to worry about.

Herbie22 · 02/06/2017 16:45

At 12 weeks you have plenty of time to plan :-). We didn't buy anything big till 30 weeks.
Make a list of everything you need and roughly how much it will cost. Try and get one thing a month.
You don't actually need that much for babies. We were blessed and had many people buy us things for the baby that I wouldn't have got if I had had to spend my own money!

Coddiwomple · 02/06/2017 16:46

relax, it's not that bad...

babies need :
sleep - so a bed and beddings
possible blackout curtains? I do love grobags from birth. Sleepy head are very fashionable, worth having a look
clothes - babygrows and vest, go easy on newborn size, better too big than too small.
eat- look at bottles and steriliser
be clean - baby bath
nappies + cream etc

car seat
buggy / travel system, to be chosen depending on your lifestyle: car or public transport? Outdoor or city life? Flat or house with garage? that sort of things

dummies? absolutely not mandatory, but you can read about them and make a choice later.

You have plenty time, don't go overboard, they do grow up super quickly.
Soon mobiles for the cot are great, bouncy chair, high chair, playpen possibly? (all of mine hated them) and a million toys.. (they don't need so many, but babies seem to attract them).

Coddiwomple · 02/06/2017 16:47

I forgot to say, I didn't buy anything at all for my first until I was 8 month pregnant, then had to rush a bit to order the travel system!

Coddiwomple · 02/06/2017 16:48

babygrows with mitts are great, save them from scratching their eyes off...

blackcherries · 02/06/2017 16:49

as long as you have a few nappies, a few clothes, somewhere for them to sleep (they outgrow moses baskets in a couple of weeks and you can always get them second-hand on facebook groups in excellent condition) and a pushchair of some sort, you'll be fine.

I found pram was hardest purchase as it incorporated car seats as well. take time to go into a large mothercare or something and try pushing the prams around, lifting them, and collapsing and putting them together. People raved about some that I could not get the hang of. Others were really heavy. You've got ages so don't sweat it.

Socksey · 02/06/2017 16:49

Hadn't planned on buying anything for my Christmas baby until the December.. .. he arrived in October and I had absolutely nothing for him..... he didn't notice 🙂

blackcherries · 02/06/2017 16:50

stuff like highchair, playpen etc you can get later. Newborns don't need them!

PeaFaceMcgee · 02/06/2017 16:53

We literally had some clothes, nappies, car seat and a stretchy wrap sling. They don't technically need anything else.

We safely co-slept and breastfed exclusively.

You'll buy everything else as you need it.

silkpyjamasallday · 02/06/2017 16:55

Don't worry OP you have plenty of time left! Congratulations! I felt strange about shopping for the baby, so only started buying anything when I was 30 weeks plus. I usually love shopping and researching but it made me feel so overwhelmed I avoided it. At the end of the day, the baby only really needs to be fed, somewhere to sleep, some clothes, nappies, somewhere to be washed and a form of transport. Just get the basics and you can budget to buy more stuff as and when you need it. Most toys for example were pretty useless to us for the first few months as dd just wasn't interested really, much happier interacting with DP and I.

Feed - bottles/ steriliser if you want to bottle feed, nursing bras, breast pads and lanisoh if you want to breastfeed. Muslins for mopping up sick.

Sleep - either straight into a big cot, or get a smaller Moses basket or sidesleeper cot for when they are little. Blankets or baby sleeping bag. Room thermometer is useful but not essential.

Transport - either a pram or a sling. The choice is overwhelming so you do have to try these things out to see what works for you. A rucksack works well as a unisex nappy bag.

Washing - either a baby bath or a bath support or just do it in the sink at first. A normal soft adult towel will do you don't need a baby one. Some baby bath products and flannels or sponges.

Clothes - 10 vests, 10 sleepsuits a few cardigans and hats. You will probably get lots as gifts so no need to overbuy.

Everything else is an extra that you don't need to buy before baby is here. We have so much we haven't even opened or used yet. If you wait you can have outings with the baby to get what you need, and sometimes you need the motivation to get off the sofa in the early days. Plus people will coo over the baby which is always nice.

Kokapetl · 02/06/2017 16:56

I found that loads of people with slightly older kids gave us clothes and things once we started telling people that we were having a baby. The only things we actually bought were nappies (cloth), a car seat, a pram/buggy and a few really cute things that we couldn't resist.

Coddiwomple · 02/06/2017 16:56

Everything depends on your lifestyle. If you have a house (and stairs), a moses basket is really useful. You can keep the baby downstairs with you during the day, and not have to climb the stairs all the time. They last 3-4 months depending on baby?

of course you don't need a playpen for a newborn, but most people budget for at least a year when they have a baby. If you are on a low budget, you need to.

You don't know how well you will be after the birth. Not every mum fancy shopping with a tiny baby, better get things out of the way.

babybat · 02/06/2017 16:57

Honestly, you don't need half as much stuff as the lists say. Remember places like Mothercare want you to buy stuff, so their lists of 'essentials' will be much longer than they need to be! Do remember to get some basic babygrows and vests in newborn size though, just in case your family are like mine and get only stuff in 0-3 size - you'll need clothes to take them home in!

offblackeggshell · 02/06/2017 16:57

I think we had a pack of vests, which I bought at about 20 weeks. I had read somewhere that it was bad luck to buy anything before 36 weeks (yes, I know how stupid that was now) and DD decided to show her face at 34 weeks. I retrospect, it might have been a good thing, because we bought what we knew we needed, as we needed it. We live in London though, so access to shops wasn't a problem. DH had to pass a huge John Lewis and Mothercare on his way to visit us in hospital.

lifetothefull · 02/06/2017 16:58

I felt exactly the same with my first. I kept walking out of shops empty handed because I didn't like shop assistants offering help. You've got lots of time so don't worry yet. And people buy you things / offer things second hand. It doesn't all need to be perfect. Congratulations!

Littlecaf · 02/06/2017 17:01

You need

Somewhere for the baby to sleep (Moses basket/blankets as basic, Sleepyhead/SnuzPod if you want to splash out)

Something for the baby to wear (Asda basic newborn baby grows as basic or Posho White Company ones for best. They don't care what they are sick on)

A car seat (if you have a car)

Something to transport a baby in (basic Argos pushchair from birth or Stokke travel system expensive)

Some way to feed it. (Boobs or bottle)

My advice - don't spend too much on really posh / expensive baby "kit". They decide what they like, not you! (Many friends and family, me included splashed out on 4Mums rockers, Bugaboo prams and £1000 nursery kits only to find their babies wouldn't settle in pram, hated the rocker, screamed at the sight of a Tommee Tipppee bottle).

Say "yes" to everything people want to lend you. (Baby bath, sling, steriliser). You can always try it out & buy new if you don't like it. You won't know if it's right until the baby arrives).

Congratulations and best of luck!

AuntieStella · 02/06/2017 17:02

You really don't need to shop in advance.

There is an abundance of places selling oddles of goods, that are open 24/7 (supermarkets) or have next day online delivery.

You can wait until much nearer the time - or indeed for a lot of stuff wait until the baby is born / before you buy.

You'll definitely need:

  • means of dealing with effluvia (nappies, maternity pads, maybe breast pads), wipes
  • something to dress the baby in
  • something safe to transport him/her home (car seat and/or sling and/or lie-flat pushchair or a pram
  • equipment for feeding (nipple cream; or bottles/sterilising kit/supply of formula)
  • somewhere for the baby to sleep
  • if you have pets, a stairgate so you can shut them away from the baby
RainbowsAndUnicorn · 02/06/2017 17:02

Did just one online order to clothes as Next have everything you could need and popped to Mothercare for the pram etc as they hold until the baby arrives. I brought more once they arrived and grew.

LiveLongAndProspero · 02/06/2017 17:06

My suggestion would be to forget about it for at least 3 months.

LemonyFresh · 02/06/2017 17:09

Don't buy too much - you'll get gifted loads and babies hardly need anything in reality.

Also all babies are different - just use Amazon prime if you desperately need anything once they're here.

viques · 02/06/2017 17:14

More importantly, get a good pedicure now and enjoy your feet this summer, you won't see them come the autumn and when the baby comes you won't be bothered!

cellorama · 02/06/2017 17:17

What everyone else has said, and beware of shops 'helpfully' making lists of stuff for you - you don't need half the clobber they'll include! Much of what you need you can get second hand - look out for stuff on ebay, gumtree, NCT nearly new sales. There's a woman in our area for instance who refurbs old buggies and sells them a bit cheaper, and someone else who runs sling meets so you can see what might suit you - you might have something similar near you.

The only things you HAVE to have new are bedding and car seats.

One thing we did was create an amazon wishlist for non-essential stuff so when helpful relatives and friends asked 'what can I get...?' we could point them at it and knew we were getting what we wanted.

Tootsiepops · 02/06/2017 17:22

I hated shopping for my newborn. Buggies and prams and car seats confused the life out of me. I used to end up leaving baby shops in a total panic because I had no idea what babies needed.

In the end, my mum frog marched me and my husband to mothercare when I was about 7 months and very efficiently got us everything we needed.

BeanSprout79 · 02/06/2017 17:39

I'm 22 weeks and have been trying to research prams/car seats and I'm finding it so overwhelming as don't really want to spend loads of money or get it wrong. It all seems like a mine-field. I keep asking people for advice but end up with conflicting answers. I'm going pram/ car seat shopping this week where they have lovely big stores of mother care, babies r us and mamas and papas so hopefully will come away with something. Hope it starts getting easier for everyone Smile

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