..to take a sneaky pregnancy test behind DPs back?

[broodynmoody]

Ohh tell me im not!

We've just had our first round of IVF.
Im not supposed to be testing til Monday (13 days after transfer) but I just cant wait that long - and frankly there's no need to with a 5 day blastocyst.
After a long negotiation with DP, he agreed I can test a day earlier, this Saturday. But what can ONE more day hurt?
He won't budge so I'm dying to have a sneaky test tomorrow and do my best face.
Do I or don't I?

No way would I be dictated to over when I could test or not test. It's your body, not his. I'd tell him when I was testing and it would be up to him whether he was there or not.

Is he normally this controlling?

I did 6 rounds of IVF and on some I bled early so didn't get to test. When I fell pregnant on my 6 th go.... I tested 2 days early... I knew just knew I was pregnant and after the journey to get there I needed time for me to know and appreciate it

Please don't use clear blue as some give false positive ( I know from experience) and do get plenty of tests ready

Good luck xx

Haha.. what Toots said!! I couldn't help myself and tested while DP was at work one day (6dp5dt) - I expected a negative and was prepared for it so was shocked to see a faint faint line. Obviously, I texted DP a pic right away and he was unsurprised by my impatience but still delighted (cautiously) by an early positive.

I want to tell you to wait. I really wish I had in a way, but I know I would do the same again and DP knows it too..

Wishing you all the luck, whenever you test!!

I also did my first scan on my own... long story but I had a bad history so the sonographer saw me a day early as I got in a state but offered to scan me again on next day and pretend it was my first scan ....
Fingers and toes crossed xx

I had to test without DH because I've always had horrible vivid dreams about testing and then laid awake for hours from 4am needing to know either way. All mine were safer IVF as well.

14 days past blastocyst transfer is VERY late to test! I've always tested on the equivalent of 12dpo and had a positive then when it's been a successful round.
And then I woke up DH to tell him and wave a pee stick in his face, before managing to get some sleep!

NO! Don't do it.

It's not fair on your poor DH who obviously wants to be involved in this important moment. As mentioned above, if it's negative, you'll need his support. If it's positive, he'll either miss out on your initial reaction which should be shared or you'll have to fess up and upset him. It's only one more day, wait it out rather than risk spoiling the moment.

If you really can't wait, be honest with DH and discuss it with him first. Don't go behind his back in these circumstances.

What an awful comment Annie. He isn't controlling because he wants to be involved in seeing the test for his possible child. They've both gone through a lot to get here why shouldn't he share the moment?

I just checked with my husband about whether or not he cared that I didn't involve him in the pregnancy test after ivf.

He said (looking puzzled):

'You can do what you like with your own pee'.

Your clinic said not to test until Monday so why not take that advice? They must of advised this for a good reason.

If you do the test without telling him and it's unfortunately not the news you want, you may be upset and need a little support of whatever from him.

Wait until Monday & fingers crossed for you!

Wait.

If you are struggling to wait, think of how upset you would be to see it being explained to him on Monday that it was actually a false positive.

obviously, I am hoping it's positive for you both on Monday

I tested early every time I did it, so would be an utter hypocrite to say not to. I understand why the clinic says to wait - you are more likely to get a definite answer on Monday. It's entirely possible to be pregnant but too early to show up. But if you think you can cope with the disappointment while still being in the game, so to speak, then I would be tempted...

Good luck!

I was going to say yes, both pregnancies I have tested twice before telling DH, second time I slept on it for 24 hours before I did another one and told him.

BUT, I feel IVF is different, you are both very intuned to it happening this cycle and where you are in the cycle (DH couldn't tell you when I ovulate if you paid him!), if it's negative you a lot more riding on this than usual.

Do it together and have all the luck in the world from me, hope you get a positive.

I might just drag him out of bed tomorrow and insist on doing it with him or without him!

This is better than doing it in secret! Tell him that you simply can't wait any longer.

is he always this controlling
Be off with you, it's his baby too and there's no harm in him actually wanting to be involved in the finding out part.

Your body: you decide.

I agree with those that have said you can pee on the stick whenever you want but you need to be honest with dp when you do!! Whatever the outcome you need each other for the next step!! If you can't wait tell him but the clinic give instructions for a reason so I would try and follow the personally!! Best of luck whatever you decide though!

I couldn't wait and did mine 6 days post 5 day transfer and got the tiniest positive, so faint that I just couldn't be sure til I retested. There was also the chance that it could be a false positive from the trigger shot and so that was another thing to be wary of.

It was a nerve wracking few days from the first tlp, checking to see if the line got darker etc. Having said that I would test early again, good luck with it, whenever you do it!!

Don't do it in secret, but instead just talk to him about how impatient you feel. Good luck. It's an amazing thing for medical science to be able to achieve- my IVF baby is mine months old tomorrow.

I just wanted to wish you lots of luck. Hoping you get a positive result tomorrow.

My DP and I were definitely in our IVF "together".

I would say wait. I held off until my OTD, when I had to go to the clinic for a blood test. I didn't do a HPT. I had to go back to the clinic anyway, so didn't want to dread it if I already knew it would be negative.

As it was, I thought it would be, as I had the usual cramping. The clinic called later that morning with the news so we both found out together. It was a very special moment (positive of course!).

There's no way you will be able to hide the result if you test early - be patient! And good luck 😊!!

I wouldn't- well, I didn't. I thought it was best to wait until they said I could test, and I did it whilst DH was waiting as I don't know how I was going to react. Amazingly for us it worked out- fingers crossed (and everything else crossed!) for you too.

I'm another one in the camp of not doing it in secret but I don't think your DH has the right to say you can't. If you are going to test he should have the opportunity to be there when you look at the result.

It does sound as though it would be best to follow the clinics' advice so you can be sure of the result being accurate but I do understand how hard that is. Whenever you decide to test I'll keep everything crossed for you

I understand how you feel. DH wanted to test together, I think he thought it would be like in the films where the couple anxiously giggle before realising 3 minutes had gone by and then look. I had so many disappointments though. I tested alone and then told him. I couldn't cope with his nerves as well as mine. Good luck, I hope you get your bfp x

I wanted to keep that feeling of hope forever. The fear of a negitive stopped me from testing. The clinic were surprised when they realised they were breaking the news while I was shopping in tkmaxx.

However it took a while for the news to sink in and I do wish DH and I had been together.