"Ful time mum" on CV- yes or no?

[likeababyelephant]

I just received a rejection from a job a spent ages tailoring my CV for and writing a very good cover letter for. Only to be told there were others with better skills/more experience. This is for an HR entry level job btw.

I can't help but think that it's because I put "full time mother" on my CV. But I would expect recruiters to seek to diversify their workforce, especially as it's an HR job. Are they discriminating against mothers or something?

Should I omit this information from my CV. I feel like I have better/more skills as a mother than I did before I had DD.

So if you work outside the home and pay a cleaner they are working, but if you clean your own house in exactly the same way you're not, because no-one is paying you?

The cleaner who gets paid to clean your toilet doesn't get paid to clean her own toilet. Maintaining hygiene in your own home takes energy and time but I don't view running my home the same as the demands put on me by my employer

It's not 'work' when you clean your own house, it's just being alive and making choices about how you want to live.

So if you work outside the home and pay a cleaner they are working, but if you clean your own house in exactly the same way you're not, because no-one is paying you?

And there it is!

Many people may CHOOSE to outsource an element of running a home, it doesn't mean that running a home is work.

E.g. I cook my own meals, but I could pay a chef to do it.
I clean my own house, but I could pay a cleaner to do it.
I give lifts to my DH and his friends, but I could pay a taxi driver to do it.
I could mow my own lawn and do my baskets, but I could pay a gardener to do it.

See the pattern?

I'm not going to sit at home and mope about how 'I work full time and I'm expected to do all the work of a cleaner, gardener, taxi driver and chef. Wow I work so hard!' I just accept that doing those things is part of life.

Just like some people choose to send their children to childcare, but others stay at home. It doesn't make staying at home a job.

The problem is most stay at home parents are comfortable in their choice, know it's valued and just get on with it. Why some SAHP have to prattle in about how difficult it is being at home and how it's just like a job is beyond me. It's valuable, it's the right choice for some, but it is not a job. Statement of fact.

**The problem is whilst most stay at home parents are comfortable in their choice, know it's valued and just get on with it, some SAHP have to prattle in about how difficult it is being at home and how it's just like a job. It's valuable, it's the right choice for some, but it is not a job. Statement of fact

Parents that go out to work still have to go home (knackered) and look after kids and do all the household chores in a limited amount of time. In my opinion it's harder than being a SAHM.

I don't get the outrage at "full time parent". I've been a sahp and now work, I can't muster any emotional response to the phrase.

Op, I was home for several years and found work. I volunteered when I had the time and did some study. One role I did would've been perfect for starting in HR - assisting with volunteer coordination. It was quite flexible too. If you have experience from before kids you can draw on that - transferable skills. I changed career so only had small bits of relevant experience, I used a skills section at the top of my cv to summarise these before the job history.

I didn't mention the gap in much detail, partly as volunteering covered all the gap, I did some evening youth work initially. I termed it as a career break. I actually felt ashamed about being home and felt our society didn't value SAHPs, I still do to an extent. However I was told not to feel that way and to be proud of the time spent at home, it is worthwhile. I was very lucky to find a role and have proven my worth despite being home so long. But it took an employer wiling and able to "think outside the box" and there aren't many of them. I'd advise looking specifically at job ads targeted at parents or small growing businesses. Part time roles are often harder to fill with good candidates too so consider those. Good luck.

I found being a SAHP harder than a job. Working over half term has been bliss compared to staying home with the kids. For me personally - being a SAHP is harder than working in a job. FACT!

(God I hate the fact thing, so fucking childish but couldn't help but respond).

ShastaBeast
Being a SAHP can be more challenging than a job in some respects.
But that's not the point.

People are saying that looking after your own children (whether you work or dont) is not a job, in the same way that a cleaner goes to work and cleans but that doesn't make cleaning your own home a job.

Some people on this thread can't seem to get that stating 'looking after your own house and kids isn't a job' is a statement of fact. It is not a job. It may have its own challenges and some people may choose to pay someone to do some of it but... it is not a job.

It's not the point. The "skills" you claim to be acquiring are not considered impressive in the work place. "Management skills" try claiming that your management skills controlling a few young kids are comparable to someone who has managed a team in a professional environment. Try claiming your "organisation skills" managing to get yourself out the door in the morning is comparable to a PA or receptionist. It's cringy.

I admire those of you willing to argue with such stupid opinions as arguing that running your own household is a job.

I would recommend listing it as 'career break' with a one line explanation along the lines of 'Career break for care of family'. Bluntly, employers care about skills gained through work and not through family. They want to know very briefly why you weren't working for a period, ie that it wasn't because you couldn't get a job, and that is all.
This ^^ sums up exactly what I was going to say!

So if you work outside the home and pay a cleaner they are working, but if you clean your own house in exactly the same way you're not, because no-one is paying you?

This is an idiotic argument.

Is making myself a coffee in the morning "work", because I'd have to pay the Costa barista to do it for me?
Is painting my toenails and waxing my fanny work, because I'd have to pay a salon to do it for me?

No. It's not. It's life. Doing things for yourself that you could pay other people to do, doesn't mean you're fucking employed!

I would love to see someone try to do my job after only being a SAHM. On the other hand I can look after a couple of kids reasonably easily. It is easier than so many jobs. An interviewer would not see parenting skills as relevant, just put career break - family commitments. That works fine.

I'm not saying it's not an important thing to do, but you can't compare it to employment. Unless of course you have like 10 little ones as then it could be similar to working in a nursery!

This thread is a stark reminder about how hard it is for women who take a prolonged break from their careers to get back into the workforce.

Epi- I really think you need to put yourself in the shoes of a potential employer. What you do as a mother, running a family / household is not work . If you employ someone to help you they are working . An employer will not see you cleaning your own loo, cooking dinner etc as working no matter how much you'd like them too! When reading through cvs I'm quite happy to read 'career break whilst raising family 'but 'full time mum/parent ' etc really gives me a negative view of that person in what they see as work.

It is dinosaursandtea, but it's also a reminder of how much some of the commentary about being a sahm being "the hardest job in the world" isn't helpful either as it's creating a false sense of how employers view that time.

I've employed someone coming back after several years and am likely to do so again, but I wouldn't be impressed by someone putting motherhood under achievements or using the term "full time mother".

StatisticallyChallenged Oh, absolutely! I meant that more in the sense that this is a good example of why taking seven years out is a massive risk for a woman to take - the things you'll do as a sahp aren't the things you'll do in an actual job, so while it might be a nice option - and could save money in the short term - in the long term it really fucks women over.

I'd throw out any CV that listed household/family tasks as faux-managerial experience.

It is a very risky option, I agree. It can be very difficult to get back in without doing total retraining and almost starting again.

Personally I think for most women it's worthwhile to at least 'keep their hand in' - I know that's not always possible but going part time, doing a few weeks of contracting, temping, supply, even career appropriate volunteering is worthwhile, as well as keeping up with professional cpd if you're in that type of field.

So if you work outside the home and pay a cleaner they are working, but if you clean your own house in exactly the same way you're not, because no-one is paying you?

Have you notices that posters who think it's belittling to not use employment terminology for what SAHMs do, are happy to belittle cleaners and nursery staff by making out they do the exact same thing as people who don't work?

Cleaners hold down multiple contracts with clients who all want things done to different spec, they manage their accounts and run their business like any other with tax returns and insurance etc. It's fucking NOTHING like me cleaning my bog to my own standards! Fuck sake!

I made the same point upthread about nursery/childcare staff TinselTwins - it's not the same at all.

This thread is depressing.

I'm a mum of two and I work part time in a secure job so I don't feel I have a particular axe to grind. But I'm sad that so many posters seem really happy about this whole business of erasing any whiff of motherhood from your cv, don't dream of admitting you're a parent at interview etc. So depressing. Yes, I get that you have to play the game and bow to the misogynistic powers-that-be... but why be so gleeful about it? So many posters seem so proud of disregarding parenthood - "I'd throw your cv right in the bin ' Jeez.

I had some sympathy with elendon tbh. Sure it wasn't the best thread for her views, but I agree with her general point that caring for children at home is not valued. I think that's true. I'm not a SAHP but I can see how frustrating it must be if you are to learn that years of full-time caring are worth diddly-squat.

Btw I'm also not offended by the term 'full-time mum'. (It's obvious what it means. Do you also think that if someone calls themselves a full-time carer they're implying that you don't care for/about your family during office hours?!) I understand that those of you in recruitment are being honest and helpful in saying that OP should ditch the phrase. But I don't like all the nasty laughing and jeering - one PP said you'd look obsessed with babies and motherhood if you even mention you're a parent. Wtf??

Yes, I guess it is still that misogynistic in the workplace. Threads like this, full of women competing to be the most 'professional' by erasing their parenthood most completely don't exactly help...

This is such a pointless argument. Whatever we do in our own homes, for our own family's benefit, is in no way comparable to paid work. The bottom line is, in paid work, you are offering a product or service which someone is prepared to pay for. And with that comes terms and conditions, targets and appraisals. Ultimately if you're not up to the job, you risk getting fired.

When it comes to looking after your own home and children, unless you are actually abusing or seriously neglecting your children, or neglecting your home to the extent that it's s a health and safety risk, you can pretty much do what you like.

This isn't a pop at SAHP at all (I was one myself for a while) and of course the vast majority of Parents (both SAH and WOH) will set their own high standards for how they raise their children and maintain their home. Looking after children and running a home can be hard work. A lot of it is quite relentless. But it is NOT the same as paid work. Ultimately if you want to have a pyjama day in front to the telly feeding your kids jam sandwiches, no one is going to stop you. If you want to leave the washing up no one is going to stop you. It really is that simple, and I don't know why people still try to argue that it's the same as paid work.

Please don't turn this into the whole working mums argument . A lot of cv s cross my desk both men and women and I have never see either mention children as an achievement . Woman have fought long and hard to be recognised equally in the
Work place and to hear some people look to undo all that with professional cvs full of words about the achievements of motherhood gives me rage.. it goes without saying I don't want to see male cvs full of same thing.

No one is saying wipe motherhood off your cv. If there is a gap. Put that you have been raising the family or whatever.

But 'full time mum' is

A. Not a job so has no place on your CV
B. Doesnt give all the skills listed to a professional level
C. Is not relevant when job hunting

That doesnt mean i dont value sahms. I was one. I drove my kids everywhere. Doesnt make me an experinced chauffeur. I also futted my own kitchen last year, doesnt make me a kitchen fitter.

I organise both kids school and home activities. Again doesnt mean i would make an amazing PA.