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AIBU?

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Original poster

Text from colleague

30 replies

Breadmaker0001 · 31/05/2017 19:14

Long time lurker, first time poster but have no where to turn.

Quick backstory, been with DH for 13 years, two children, quite happy family life. Talk lots, generally very open with one another. He is moving to a different office, same firm, and a woman who used to work in the old office is at the new one. She sent him a text when she found out he was moving and it said that she was so happy to get to see him every day again, she ended the text with "I love you"

I've had issue with her in the past over stepping the mark and to be honest it had become something of a joke between DH and me. He showed me the message today, but only after I asked if he had heard from her. TBH I am pretty shell shocked at her choice of words. I am confident nothing has gone on, but the to write I love you at the end of a message isn't normal, is it?

OP posts:
Purplepicnic · 31/05/2017 19:17

No, it's not normal. What does he think about it?

Doubt he would have shown you if something had gone on so you're probably ok on that front.

CocoLoco87 · 31/05/2017 19:18

Nope, definitely not normal between colleagues! Especially when one is married. DH hasn't led her on at all has he?

lazydog · 31/05/2017 19:19

Absolutely not normal, no. How did he reply to her?

Original poster
Breadmaker0001 · 31/05/2017 19:22

Not sure, don't think he has led her on. He's quite chatty and friendly, but I wouldn't have thought so. He just wrote back that he was looking forward to the change and that it will be nice to catch up again.

OP posts:
Graceflorrick · 31/05/2017 19:22

Why doesn't he block her number?

Original poster
Breadmaker0001 · 31/05/2017 19:23

Could she maybe have done it by accident - like when you were at school and you accidentally called your teacher mum? I once told the dr receptionist I loved her before I hung up the phone. I was 19 at the time, but still...?

OP posts:
Cakeisbest · 31/05/2017 19:24

Perhaps he could answer "I'm looking forward to working with you again too, but I don't love you - I love my wife." When she then claims she was only joking about, he can say he was too.

OVienna · 31/05/2017 19:27
  1. he's led her on and there is more to this than you realise

Or

  1. she's a stalker/seriously deluded and they're working in the same office

I really can't think of any alternatives to that bizarre text. It's very strange if nothing whatsoever is going on.

lazydog · 31/05/2017 19:29

Not a chance it was written by mistake. Fair enough if someone accidentally says it on the phone if they're used to saying it in closing to their significant other or kids, or if they accidentally type a couple of kisses and don't realise before they hit send on a text or email, but not that full sentence/declaration on a text message. She means it. Surprised he didn't immediately pull her up on it. That would be my response to a text like that from someone who has no reason to believe that I felt the same way...

SmilingButClueless · 31/05/2017 19:31

It's not impossible that it was accidental (I've had the odd inappropriate sign off from colleagues before, which we've all just pretended never happened). Or that she's that effusive with everyone.

If he's showing you, then I don't think you have too much to worry about. Even if she throws herself at him, doesn't mean your husband is going to respond!

histinyhandsarefrozen · 31/05/2017 19:31

So he'll now be with her every day? Crikey.

I agree with OVienna.

She's either mad - which would worry me.
Or she and your husband are/have been at it. - which would... worry me.

UnicornSparkles1 · 31/05/2017 19:32

Was it "I love you x" or "I love you!"? Could just be that she's one of those OTT positive all the time weird type people?

histinyhandsarefrozen · 31/05/2017 19:32

How did she overstep the mark in the past, OP?

LittleWingSoul · 31/05/2017 19:40

^what unicorn said

2gorgeousboys · 31/05/2017 19:45

I would have been worried but he showed you which would give me some comfort. I agree that if they had been talking on the phone and she'd said it automatically it would have been more understandable to be a mistake. I sent someone who works for me a text last week just after texting DH and added an X by accident. Confused

honeyroar · 31/05/2017 19:54

He should have text back "you love me??" And let her explain.

DomJolyNurse · 31/05/2017 19:55

It's not normal.
You can accidentally put an x. But if I accidentally wrote "I love you" which I dont think is possible. I would follow up with a text to say "oops awkward autocorrect, that was supposed to say I love fridays"

so she is either mad, or he has lead her on

Sprinklestar · 31/05/2017 19:55

How inappropriate. Think how appalled we'd all be if an older male colleague sent a younger female the same message... If I were him, I'd highlight this to HR before the move just in case she turns out to be a bunny boiler?

blankface · 31/05/2017 19:57

I've never written to a work colleague and used that sign-off, has anyone, apart from a huge faux pas?

Was it sent from or to a work phone?

Popskipiekin · 31/05/2017 20:09

It was definitely part of the same text which talked about being so happy to see him? As in, it wasn't a separate text sent immediately after?
A good friend of mine was having two separate rapid fire conversations with me and her boyfriend and sent me an " I love you" meant for him...

DeadGood · 31/05/2017 20:11

Weird.

Only thing I'm thinking is "I love you" is quite different to "love ya" if you know what I mean - was it definitely those 3 words, in that order??

YoureNotASausage · 31/05/2017 20:14

If he really is innocent here, he should really be telling her it's inappropriate and if she oversteps the line again he'll have to go to HR. Then I'd expect him to avoid her like the plague in the office. That's what an innocent person would do.

So if they are still 'friends' after this, I think you know it's not so innocent.

CondensedMilkSarnies · 31/05/2017 20:16

Why has she got his number ? My decision on whether she's a loon or not would depend on the reply my husband sent back.

DarceyBushell · 31/05/2017 20:26

I have a male work BFF. We whatsapp rather than text as texting is so 2010s ;-) I'm definitely not having sex with him nor do I want to, we just get on really well and make our days go quicker. I'd be delighted if we were moved office and moved together rather than apart and would tell him. I love him in the same way I love my female friends. I hope his wife doesn't think I'm a bunny boiler!

I guess what I'm saying is that telling someone you love them doesn't have to mean you want to have sex with them and split up their marriage etc. etc. I still wouldn't say it like that in a text though I guess.

Nevergrowingold · 31/05/2017 20:27

It sounds like they once had an affair and she is looking forward to seeing him again