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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really jealous of my friends weight loss

74 replies

Boododiii · 31/05/2017 13:28

Both my friend and I started slimming world in January. We both had 4 stone to lose. I lost a stone within a month but then became less motivated and ended up back in my old habits.

She stuck at it and is now a size 10. She's lost 6 stone to go from 15 and a half stone to 9 and a half and she looks stunning!

I hate being around her now as I can see what I could have been if I'd just kept to the diet and made healthy choices.

I don't even want to be around her anymore as I hate my body so much.
AIBU?

OP posts:
DinnerIsServed · 31/05/2017 13:29

Yes you are. Well done her!

Duploprincess · 31/05/2017 13:30

Very gently...yabu. take this as the motivation and get it sorted. You could still lose the weight.. don't lose a friend too

juneybean · 31/05/2017 13:30

You're just angry at yourself, deep inside I'm sure you're happy for her. I know the feeling though I lost loads in January and put it all back on and more. But you can see how well she's done and let it spur you on to lose yours.

peachgreen · 31/05/2017 13:30

Why not see her as a motivator instead? You could be in the same place in 4 months time.

Sionella · 31/05/2017 13:31

YANBU to feel angry and disappointed with yourself.

But look at it this way - if you started now, you could be like that by November :)

TheStoic · 31/05/2017 13:32

Good for you for having the insight and self-awareness to acknowledge your envy.

Plenty of people would not have that awareness.

What are you going to do about it?

FishChipsAndGravy · 31/05/2017 13:33

I understand how you feel. However, she has worked really hard at this, so try to keep these feelings to yourself and at least pretend to her that you're pleased for her.

Can you use this as motivation for yourself? It's not taken your friend that long to achieve these results, so can you tell yourself just how easy and quick it might be for you to achieve the same?

FacelikeaBagofHammers · 31/05/2017 13:34

You can't resent your friend for not failing to carry out what you both wanted. That'd be very unfair.

Use her as your motivation, get her support and be where she is in a few months time. If she did it, then so can you. But don't lose a friend over it.

amusedbush · 31/05/2017 13:35

YABU but then so am I. I gained a lot of weight after my wedding last year, at the same time my mum had lost five stone and was smaller than me for the first time ever. It sounds bloody terrible and I'd never say it out loud but I always felt like everything was okay as long as my mum was fatter than me BlushSad

I'm now three stone down from where I was six months ago and I feel a lot better but I'm only halfway there. It feels like a long road.

It's okay to be secretly jealous but don't lose your friend over this. Use it to motivate you into losing weight too.

TakeMe2Insanity · 31/05/2017 13:36

I'd use her as motivation and inspiration. She has done it and so can you.

MissBax · 31/05/2017 13:37

Why don't you tell her you're feeling a bit gutted you've not done so well and ask her for tips and recipe ideas? I'm sure she'd be happy to help!

2Pinkhydrangea · 31/05/2017 13:39

She's lost 6 stone in 4 months? Confused IMO that was far too much to lose since January and will be impossible to maintain.

I lost 3 or 4 stone in 4 months a few years ago and I couldn't maintain it. It took far too much extreme dieting and exercising to lose it, but I wouldn't have told anyone that and pretended it was making healthier choices. I did eventually lose it again, making small and realistic changes, for about a year, and have kept it off.

I don't think YABU to be jealous, it's a normal feeling. I used to feel the same when I was desperately unhappy with my body.

Bettyspants · 31/05/2017 13:39

Tell her how well she has done, how AMAZING she looks and how daft and green you feel for not having stuck it! Then get back on plan and you'll be incredibly chuffed with your sveltness for Christmas!

squoosh · 31/05/2017 13:39

Good for you for recognising your jealousy. That's a mature thing to be able to do!

Use her as your inspiration and in a few months time you can be where she is now. And yes, ask for her best tips.

hungryhippo90 · 31/05/2017 13:39

6 stone in 6 months? I hate her too.

are you being a bit tongue in cheek here? if not, I think you may need to take a step back and really think about this, she hasnt done anything wrong.
turn that jealousy into motivation.

edengarden1234 · 31/05/2017 13:40

Yes you know you are. But see it as a motivator. Half the year is gone by. The next six months you could be where she's at. Go for it and look fabulous!

squoosh · 31/05/2017 13:40

Losing 6 stone in five months does seem too much though.

hungryhippo90 · 31/05/2017 13:40

and for the rest of you, how are you losing weight so bloody fast?!! I feel like im killing myself on my diet, and ive only lost 18lb since feb!

HairsprayBabe · 31/05/2017 13:41

YABU but I did the same thing with my sister for years we have both yo-yo'ed, now I have lost and she has gained and I feel awful for saying this but when I saw her for the first time in months I was so happy she was fatter than me Blush

You can't help how you feel and jealousy is a normal emotion, you can turn your diet and lifestyle around and not lose a friend though!

It can be really hard though so don't beat yourself up too much! Flowers

Ethylred · 31/05/2017 13:41

Invite her to stay and force-feed her doughnuts or whatever rubbish you're eating for a fortnight.

Yabu and you know it.

Original poster
Boododiii · 31/05/2017 13:42

This thread is meant as lighthearted really.

I don't hate her as I'm pleased for her.

Just a little gutted I have such awful willpower.

OP posts:
hownowbrowngoat · 31/05/2017 13:42

Is this a reverse?

Original poster
Boododiii · 31/05/2017 13:43

She hasn't crash dieted. She's eaten healthily.

OP posts:
Phoebefromfriends · 31/05/2017 13:44

I don't know alot about weight loss programmes but she's lost an awful lot in such a short space of time, I thought the recommended weight loss was 1lb per week? She definitely isn't ill? I would really focus on what you need to do to lose weight in a healthy and sustainable way. Making small changes that will become habits rather than a radical overhaul. Good luck OP, just focus on you for now.

squoosh · 31/05/2017 13:45

Losing 6 stone in five months sounds like a crash diet though.