To be really jealous of my friends weight loss

[Boododiii]

Both my friend and I started slimming world in January. We both had 4 stone to lose. I lost a stone within a month but then became less motivated and ended up back in my old habits.

She stuck at it and is now a size 10. She's lost 6 stone to go from 15 and a half stone to 9 and a half and she looks stunning!

I hate being around her now as I can see what I could have been if I'd just kept to the diet and made healthy choices.

I don't even want to be around her anymore as I hate my body so much.
AIBU?

Wish people would stop banging on about losing weight quickly being "bad for you". As long as she is getting her nutrients how on Earth eating less going to hurt?

It hurts when it goes back on as quickly as it's come off. I'm not trying to make a dig at anyone who's lost weight just reassure the OP that speedy weight loss isn't always the way to go.

I get that you're being lighthearted but also that you probably are jealous of her and pissed off at yourself. You're allowed to feel how you feel!

Why not ring up your mate and tell her 'You look amazing, I'm gutted I didn't stick with it, will you help me'? She'll probably be delighted and have a ton of tips to help you, if that's what you want?

Break the amount you want to lose down into stages, so try to get 3 stone off by Christmas and set another target say 1 stone by Easter etc until you're done.

I think so many of us are desperate to lose weight really quickly that when it doesn't happen like that we feel we've failed and give up. Being realistic is key.

I lost 5 stone in 4 months and I've kept it off for 5 years so it's not true at all that she will inevitably gain it back. It depends on whether she was end-goal oriented (always fails in my experience) or life-time change oriented (hitting a target weight changes nothing about your eating and exercise - this is your new normal).

I think you've been really honest OP, and I'll bet if you share your frustration with your friend she'll be in your corner encouraging you to get back on the band wagon. You don't need slimming world though. Unless you're willing to live on slimming world for life, consider a long term approach learning about nutrition and health beyond weight loss. There are a number of reasons your body struggles with fat, and calories in/calories out simply isn't good science when it comes to body changes. We aren't simple machines. If you're eating a low calorie but low fat, inflammatory diet without bioavailable nutrients, your body will slow down it's metabolism to the point of thyroid damage. Have a look at some paleo recipe and lifestyle blogs and see if you think it could help. Cutting out sugar and preservatives was what altered my body beyond recognition. I eat more than I ever allowed myself 5 years ago, but of very different foods.

I lost 15 kilos in 3 months and have kept it off (and more!) for 7 years as have most of my friends who lost a lot quickly through MFP or SW (or another proper diet program). Fast weight loss is really motivating, you get results really quickly, and it also gives you a really good spring board into a healthy lifestyle. Because I was no longer fat I was confident enough to join sports clubs and gyms and go swimming, all of which encouraged me to lose even more weight. My whole mindset changed. I got more confidence. People without willpower will always gain, whether they lose weight fast or slow.

I think you know YABU but it's totally understandable. I would feel the same. But you need to turn this into motivation.

for example, I have a group of friends i go running with. I am very competitive and secretly HATE it if one of them does better than me. So I resolve that next time I will be better than them and push myself more. None of them knows I feel this way, outwardly I am all smiles and "well done you", but inside their success drives me towards my own.

Haven't RTFT but almost six stone in 5 months is way too much weight loss for that amount of time. It will all go back on, so no need to be jealous.

I have seen many people lose 4-6 stone in 4-6 months and be incredibly smug about it. One person I know kept sighing at how HUGE their size 18-20 shorts were now, and kept pulling their belt in, saying 'I am up to the 6th notch now, I was on the 2nd. I will have to get another notch put in it soon' And 'my jeans are massive look!'. BUY SMALLER FUCKING CLOTHES YOU CUNT! is what I was screaming on the inside. Instead, I just smiled sweetly. A year later, this person has regained the 4 stone they lost, plus another stone, Hahahaha LOL.

This person is one of many I know who have regained all their weight.

Petty and bitchy of me? Maybe. Don't give a fuck .

Don't believe she has just 'eaten healthily' by the way. You wouldn't lose that much that quickly by simply 'eating healthily.' That's bollocks.

I know someone who changed her eating habits to eat more healthy, and cut down her portion sizes by a third, and started going for 3 mile walks (four or five times a week,) and she also started to swim 50 lengths 3 times a week. She lost just over 3 stone (went from 14 stone 3, to 11 and a half stone, and dropped from a size 20 to a size 14,) and it took her EIGHTEEN MONTHS. 5 years later, she is still the same weight and clothes size.

As I said 6 stone in 5 months is a ridiculous weight loss, and it can't be maintained unless you virtually starve yourself.

And people crying 'scorn' or 'jealousy' need to pipe down. People are entitled to their views and opinions. You have no right slagging people off because they have a different opinion to you!

I've never been overweight in my life, yet even I understand that just as people gain weight at different rates, they also lose it at different rates too.

Going from 15.5 stone to 9.5 stone in five months, doesn't necessarily mean that's unhealthy for her particular body.

Nor does it mean she'll put it all back on.

Her body will probably go into starvation mode making it harder to keep the weight off and twice as hard to lose it again.

Yo yo dieting. Its unhealthy and unsustaimable. Please check out the ch4 doc on super slimmers.

Yanbu to feel despondent. Try not to rain on her parade though.

Going from 15.5 stone to 9.5 stone in five months, doesn't necessarily mean that's unhealthy for her particular body.

It probably is though. That is way too fast a weight loss for most people.

Nor does it mean she'll put it all back on.

Over 90% of people regain the weight they lose, so yeah, I'm gonna go with reckoning she will regain it all......................

Blimey some sour grapes on here.

It's perfectly fine to loose that amount of weight that quickly. I lost 2 stone in 2 months post baby 4 as I ate well and excersised.

You don't put it back on if you keep on eating well and exercise.

Some people loose weight quickly and done don't just like some pile it on snd some don't.

Op you will get there but it's a hard bugger of a path. Worth it though

The time it takes to lose the weight is irrelevant really. The key is making the changes which are sustainable long term.

Everyone is different and it's not some sort of race or competition. Find what works for you and stick to it!

There's a huge difference between losing baby weight to get back to pre baby size and losing weight that your body has had for a while! Plus it's far easier to lose that weight the first time - if you've yo-yo dieted for 30 years it's vastly harder to lose than the first time...your body knows what's coming and hangs onto the fat (I seem to recall seeing the science about that somewhere - will search)

But I would say 6st in 5 months is not feasible without extreme measures - that's 14000 calories a week deficit - average woman uses about 1500 per day existing so you need to have done 500 calories a day of exercise to get to 2000 Cals per day deficiet before you eat anything (one lb if fat is about 3500 cals deficit)...very rough numbers but that's implying a lot of exercise and very little intake!

I lost 8 stone in less than 7 months and have kept it off for almost 10 years.

I didn't do anything extreme. I lost the first stone and a half in two weeks just by reducing my calories to 1500 a day. I lost another stone the next two weeks after I started walking. I then cut my calories to 1200 (I'm very short so this wasn't unnecessarily restrictive, just normal for my height and activity levels), and started walking more and faster. Lost another 2 stone that month. Started jogging 5 days a week. Lost a stone that month. Started running 5 days a week. Lost another stone. Took my calories back up to 1500 and kept up the running, and lost about half a stone a month for the next 3 months.

The 1-2lb a week 'guideline' isn't really for people who are heavily overweight or obese. It's one of those things that hasn't really caught up to the fact that an awful lot of people are trying to do a whole lot more than just lose a frustrating extra 15lbs.

If you're heavily overweight/obese, you burn quite a lot of calories just existing basically. When I was fat I burned about 2000 calories a day without so much as getting out of bed. I burned more calories exercising than a thinner person would doing the same exercise at the same intensity. I could burn 3500 calories a day just by existing and walking a fair bit. Add in some proper exercise and I could achieve a pretty huge deficit just doing what normal, healthy, fit people do everyday. It's a totally different thing to the grind of trying to lose 10lbs when you're already a healthy weight. For a while it just falls off as long as you don't fall of the wagon.

As PP's have said, no-one knows this individual woman's body and how it reacts to what could be, a healthy sensible diet and exercise routine.

So all the speculation isn't really helpful to the OP.

OP, you need to concentrate on your own body/diet/exercise and try if you can, to use this as something to inspire you.

Good luck

petra

No that's nonsense as dh did exactly the same snd funnily enough he's never been upduffed.

Everyone is different so please stop lumping everyone together. I am also a nurse abs have seen quick and slow weight loss amongst patients and it makes no difference at all to the outcome of keeping the weight off or putting it back on.

It's a life style change that causes that not the speed of weight loss.

Kmc is spot on - the rules of 'safe weight loss' only apply to moderately overweight/healthy BMI people. Seriously obese people will naturally lose more initially as they reduce their calorie intake - to continue the loss they then have to adjust their intake according to their weight.

So what's that, 1200 cals per day?

If so she's done really well.

It's taken me five months to lose 20 pounds

BUT it's still 20 pounds!

You need to swallow this bitterness and use her as motivation and ask her for help!

I bet she had slip ups and hard days, she did it so she knows how she powered through so use that!

Remember slimming world does not work for everyone. You might need to tweak it or try something else that suits you better.

Also those who are saying she lost the weight way too fast and starved herself,

You dont know what she ate before maintain 15 stone,

People whos natural weight (their sweet spot if they eat reasonably healthily and are moderately active) stays pretty low (ectomorphs) could be eating takeaway every night to keep up the weight, I usually stay around 8/9 stone at 5 foot 6, but I got obese and to 15 stone after medication and eating takeaway 5 times a week and chocolate, cakes, pasties ect for every other meal. Easily 3-4000 calories a day.

As soon as i got well and realised what bad habits id got into, i cut down and it dropped off pretty quickly.

YANBU.

I too think your friend has lost it too quickly but my doctor tried to talk me into slimming world and said "you can lose a stone a month even without exercise" and recommended this as healthy?!

OP I hear you about the green eyed monster but as lots of people have said, use it to your advantage as motivation for yourself.

I have tried to lose two stones for years, constantly trying different diets and failing after a few days.

I saw a girl I hadn't seen for a while two stones lighter who looked amazing. She went from 11 stones to 9 stones. I immediately congratulated her on how well she looked and asked her how she has slimmed down. She told me that she woke up one day sick of being overweight and decided to lose her extra weight once and for all that she had put on which was two stones (same as me) She followed a super strict version of slimming world at home to the letter and told me she was very strict on herself. She is one of these people who once they put their minds to doing something, the job is done.

She wrote endless lists, meal planned, batch cooked meals in bulk and kept a strict daily diary and shifted the weight in 9 weeks! Everything she ate was super healthy, cooked from scratch and speed/free foods only. She did no exercise except walk her children to and from school which wasn't that far.

I was in admiration on how disciplined she was with herself and although I was jealous I felt she was deserving of the weight loss. I was glad I bumped into her as It gave me the kick up the backside to stop feeling sorry for myself and get the weight off myself.

OP- almost everyone successful with loosing a lot of weight usually has had something that kicked them into it- seeing a holiday photo in bikini/getting a nasty comment/or seeing a friends loose weight. Use this- grab on to it- remember how sad/jealous/exasperated her weight loss makes you feel- channel these emotions into complete drive and determination- and go for it. You can do it. Stick to slimming world or whatever you feel can realistically work.
I know I'm repeating things but make any other changes you can- always take the stairs not lift/escalator and power walk everywhere- get off train/bus a few stops earlier and do that extra walk. While waiting for dinner to cook do some star jumps/burpees/squats/lunges or just run around the room- anything at all will gradually make that difference!
Major thing food wise- reduce your dinner portion size/quantity/carb and fat content- its main meal of the day that can make such a major difference in loosing weight- especially when you step on scales next morning.

Meant to say as Andie said...