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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really jealous of my friends weight loss

74 replies

Boododiii · 31/05/2017 13:28

Both my friend and I started slimming world in January. We both had 4 stone to lose. I lost a stone within a month but then became less motivated and ended up back in my old habits.

She stuck at it and is now a size 10. She's lost 6 stone to go from 15 and a half stone to 9 and a half and she looks stunning!

I hate being around her now as I can see what I could have been if I'd just kept to the diet and made healthy choices.

I don't even want to be around her anymore as I hate my body so much.
AIBU?

OP posts:
HildaOg · 31/05/2017 13:47

Wow, I'm impressed with her achievement. Look at her as inspiration of what can be done. Every time you think of doing something that will sabotage your goal, think of her and how you can be in her position in a few months time.

Hissy · 31/05/2017 13:48

Come on love, you now have the proof you need to make the decision you need.

perhaps if you took up a new sport if poss, that would help kick start it all?

You can do this, but of course it takes dedication and effort!

Jupitar · 31/05/2017 13:49

Use it as motivation, if she hadn't lost weight either then you'd both be depressed and thinking that you'd never be able to do it, she's shown you it can be fine, fair okay to her.

I'm in my 40s and several Mums from school have lost really decent amounts of weight over the past few years, and they're keeping it off, in slightly envious as I've never had weight problem but am now getting a middle aged spread and these women are now slimmer than me 😫

MikeUniformMike · 31/05/2017 13:52

OP, what you feel is normal. Don't be cross with yourself but keep going and lose the weight steadily.

Pepperer · 31/05/2017 14:02

OP one thing I can say re: willpower is to not so much look at weight loss as a chore that has to be completed, but a goal to be achieved. I have a mate that really struggled with her weight after having her first child, and what she did was to change the little things one by one till it became somewhat of a habit.

Start with something small like changing the type of bread you eat for instance. That way it won't "shock" you so much and you'll adapt easier to a more healthy lifestyle.

Rubies12345 · 31/05/2017 14:06

Did you put the stone back on?

If not, you're a stone lighter than when you started, it's a positive thing.

Zimmerzammerbangbang · 31/05/2017 14:21

That's a really unhealthy weight loss. I'd be concerned about her. I've lost nearly two stone since January and I think that's pretty good going at a fairly even and reasonable rate. 6 stone would be ridiculous - about 4 pounds a week (based on 5 months). Very unhealthy.

Backt0Black · 31/05/2017 14:25

Fair play to you OP - you know the answer here.

Youre not being critical or saying shes had it easier, good on you. Weight loss is mostly attitude, and not excusing poor behaviour / choices. I think youve proven you have what it takes with the balanced writing of this post, just go for it.

As for the few pouring scorn on the weightloss.... I thinks thats a bit of shame. Weight loss can be really rapid in the early stages where metabolism is all over, and some of it can also be fluid (Example I'm a size 10 - but can cheat my way down to an 8 in a week by manipulating salt and carb intake). So the weight lost while impressive doesn't have to be called out as unhealthy.

Good luck OP.

Starlighter · 31/05/2017 14:25

You can do that too! Go for it! You can see it works. Instead of being jealous, throw yourself at this friendship - ask her to help motivate u, keep her updated with weigh-ins, share recipes... this time next year, you could be a size 10, don't give up! Flowers

TheStoic · 31/05/2017 14:25

6 stone. 24kg in 20ish weeks. It's fast, but it does depend on the starting weight.

squoosh · 31/05/2017 14:26

As for the few pouring scorn on the weightloss.... I thinks thats a bit of shame.

It's not scorn. It's fact. It's far above what's deemed a healthy weekly weight loss.

CherryMintVanilla · 31/05/2017 14:26

Use her as inspiration. You didn't miss the boat. You still have a body, you still make eating choices every day, you can start now!

TheStoic · 31/05/2017 14:28

There is nothing wrong with fast weight loss in itself, other than the propensity to put it straight back on.

squoosh · 31/05/2017 14:28

There was a v interesting article in the NYT a few months ago about participants in The Biggest Loser who experienced similarly speedy weight loss. In nearly all instances their metabolic systems quickly fought to regain it.

winkywinkola · 31/05/2017 14:30

Start on yourself. Start 0-5k running app.

Stop thinking about her. Focus on you. And what you're going to do!

EddieHitler · 31/05/2017 14:33

Of course YABU. Grin

Use her as your weight loss inspiration. Just think how much you could lose by Christmas, you'd be almost at your target weight if you lost a healthy half a stone each month. Try picturing yourself on your Christmas night out in your lovely LBD to keep you motivated.

Backt0Black · 31/05/2017 14:37

It's not scorn. It's fact. It's far above what's deemed a healthy weekly weight loss

Always people ready to blow out someones candle.

I gave birth 9 weeks ago, I was back to prebirth weight within weeks. My metabolism was fired up due to eating more, so when I reverted to normal eating, tracking my macros (2000 cals, 40 protein 30 fat 30 carb) and training I lost very rapidly. Its not easy for everyone, not at all, and I'd never rubbish anyones achievement ....or battle with it. We don't know what OP's friend has done other than 'slimming world' (of which I'm not a huge fan - but horses for courses) so a little harsh to do down her achievement. 'fact'

Neutrogena · 31/05/2017 14:41

OP - do you think you have addiction issues with food? i.e. is it more than gluttony that caused you to put on weight in the first place?

squoosh · 31/05/2017 14:41

Backt0Black you’ll forgive me if I defer to scientists on this subject rather than you.

FlyingElbows · 31/05/2017 14:43

Six stone in five months from a starting weight of 15.7? Are you sure? That's a massive loss through following the SW plan alone. If you're right then my money's on your mate severely calorie restricting and over exercising which is exactly what they're doing of the biggest loser. It's not sustainable and it's really unhealthy.

That aside... you are bu. You are responsible for what you put in your mouth. Only you. You know that. When you're ready to do it it'll work.

araiwa · 31/05/2017 14:46

i bet she was jealous of you sitting on your arse watching tv, eating cake whilst she went to the gym and had salad for dinner too

Joffmognum · 31/05/2017 14:51

The minimum calorie consumption (ie 1200ish depending) is to avoid people becoming malnourished from not eating enough protein and vegetables.

It's possible to go lower and still be okay but you have to reeeally know what you're doing, and not for too long.

TooGood2BeFalse · 31/05/2017 14:54

OP you are so honest. So glad so many posters reverted kindly and with empathy.

I don't know anywhere enough to comment on the weight loss but if she seems happy and healthy, good on her.

So understand where you are coming from, although situation different.

I would describe myself as short.. am 5'1 but yoyo depending on my life from 51-60 kilos.

I had my second son 10 months ago.I was 67 kilos at full term and by the time he was 6 weeks old I was 57 kilos.

Scale today told me I weigh 63 kilos.. No other excuse than too much wine, crisps and lazy eating due to separating from my STBXH 4 months ago.I am alone with 24/7 childcare of 2 young kids, eldest with HFA.

I have become greedy and lazy and no one else to blame but myself and sheer gluttony.

It doesn't sound a lot but on someone as short as me it is very noticeable.

I do feel you OP.My best friend works so hard to be slim and healthy and she does look fantastic.

Things can change and I have no doubt ypu will achieve what you set out to.Good. luck!Flowers

Allthebestnamesareused · 31/05/2017 14:55

Why not ask her to come round and help you meal plan a couple of weeks.

I am a typical yo-yo dieter and when my head is in the right place I can smash it and slim right down, even keep it off for a couple-three years but then I get complacent and it drifts up and up and before I know it I am back to where I was.

I have now accepted that my life is this! Sometimes I am the slim one and sometimes I am not. Sometimes I am super happy and sometimes I am super miserable about how I look and feel.

Sometimes my head is in the right place to diet and sometimes (unfortunately) it is not.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe set yourself a series of small goals rather than just one big 4 stone goal. Set maybe one stone b x date etc.

Raspberriesaretheonlyfruit · 31/05/2017 14:57

Wish people would stop banging on about losing weight quickly being "bad for you". As long as she is getting her nutrients how on Earth eating less going to hurt?
As someone who has been through years of dietary advice from leading scientists who are all proved wrong over and over again ( carbs vs fat, marg vs butter, etc etc) no one can say that fast weight loss is harmful.
Obviously a change in diet requires a major head shake but as the op found out,it's not the diet it's eating what you did before that puts weight on.

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