Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To tell her to shove off?!

98 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 29/05/2017 15:52

A few weeks ago while I assume he was drunk as it was at about 2am an old colleague sent me a few messages basically saying he fancied me. I saw them the next morning and pointed out he was married and that it was inappropriate. Nothing else. He's not contacted me since.

I've just had a text from his wife and Jesus she's making out that I am some sort of man eater etc reading me the riot act, telling me to back off etc etc. I don't know what he's said to her as if she'd seen the messages she'd get a clear idea...

Wibu to point out I am not remotely interested in her husband and perhaps he is the one she needs to be talking to?!?

OP posts:

WelshMoth · 29/05/2017 17:57

Do the screenshots contain names? Is it possible that she thinks your answers belong to her DH and he's persuaded her that his texts are written by you? Is this possible in the world of running convo's on SMART phones?
Either way, poor woman has just woken up to the reality that her H ie a scumbag. Go gently.

ClopySow · 29/05/2017 18:34

I think your response was the right one.

I meant if she gets back in touch. Take no shit but don't flame it was what i was trying to say.

Original poster

lastqueenofscotland · 29/05/2017 18:41

Welsh they show the number they are from?

As yet no reply.

OP posts:

Justdontgetitatall · 29/05/2017 18:41

OP PLEASE send your friend's suggestion! Send it then block her

Justdontgetitatall · 29/05/2017 18:42

Sounds like he has woken up, felt guilty and told her "this girl keeps harassing me" and she's demanded your number

MyPuppyIsADick · 29/05/2017 18:49

Has she seen them?

OnTheRise · 29/05/2017 19:04

Oh dear. What a horrible situation for you to be in, OP. I think you did the right thing by sending the screenshots without comment, and I hope you hear nothing more from either of these two sad people.

Frankie89 · 29/05/2017 19:05

Oh gosh I've had a similar thing happen to me with a colleague, except it was innocent on both ends.

Colleague texted me one afternoon asking if he could leave his car on my drive overnight as I live about 1/2 km from the train station. I said yes but I wasn't at home so wouldn't see him. Went out for the evening, car was still there when I got back at 1am ish. Got up hungover and car was gone. Thought nothing more of it.

Three or four weeks later I was in Manchester visiting a friend, by odd coincidence so was colleague (visiting his brother). Bumped into them and went for a drink. Friend posted a photo of us all on Instagram, woke up the next morning to a world of crap from colleague's wife, accusing me of all sorts.

Genuinely was nothing going on but turned out colleague has in the past cheated and the wife had suspicions he was doing it again (still don't know if he was, but it wasn't with me!).

I would hazard a guess that's what's happened here, the wife suspects your colleague has been up to something and put two and two together and got 5000.

Frankie89 · 29/05/2017 19:06

Sorry should've mentioned colleagues wife was gps tracking his car so knew it was at my house overnight, realised my post didn't make a great deal of sense!

C0untDucku1a · 29/05/2017 19:19

Any response? I'd assume her husband was getting yelled at this evening

Original poster

lastqueenofscotland · 29/05/2017 19:21

Nothing... mentioned it to a friend at work who said he tried it on with someone else once a few years ago too so he has form.

OP posts:

Willyoujustbequiet · 29/05/2017 19:25

if it's WhatsApp, has she read them?

Original poster

lastqueenofscotland · 29/05/2017 19:25

Looks like it. Two blue ticks

OP posts:

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 29/05/2017 19:26

Christ, I'd take the whole lot to HR.

Fuck that shit.

TiffanyAtBreakfast · 29/05/2017 19:28

Poor woman. Living with that kind of twat will send anyone a bit mad.

CruCru · 29/05/2017 20:10

Realistically, it's probably worth leaving it for now. If she contacts you again (in an unpleasant way), then you can take it to HR.

ohfourfoxache · 29/05/2017 20:31

Well done, that was a completely appropriate response.

I think it would be an idea to take it to HR now rather than wait to see if anything else happens. It may not come to anything but it's better to be safe than sorry

Original poster

lastqueenofscotland · 29/05/2017 20:33

Would HR really give a shit though? It's not really work related is it?

OP posts:

Raggydolly3 · 29/05/2017 20:35

If she does not text back Op then you can assume she now realises you had nothing to do with this at all.

Tiredbutfuckingfine · 29/05/2017 22:52

Email it to HR for awareness. Hopefully nothing will come of it, but if he or she cause any issues for you at work you will be able to show he has been causing upset in your personal life

TheMysteriousJackelope · 29/05/2017 23:52

LastQueen HR won't care that she has been sending you nasty texts. They would care if she started sending you threatening messages, or if she turned up at your workplace breathing fire.

If she goes quiet I don't think I would tell HR. If she keeps sending you nasty texts I'd threaten her with it to make her back off. If she continued then she's jumped on the crazy train and I think they should know.

I would keep screen shots of the proposition, your response, and her messages for your own documentation in case you get a repeat next time your colleague gets drunk (when it is definitely moving into sexual harassment) or if he effects your career adversely down the road - which could be perceived to be due to your rejection of his advances.

BlondeB83 · 29/05/2017 23:57

You did the right thing. Her reaction was clearly because of his lies. Hope she LTB.

myusernameisgeneric · 30/05/2017 00:17

You've done the best thing. You've basically just shown her the truth. It's up to her now. I would not engage anymore.

Flip

1 2 3 4