Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her to shove off?!

98 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 29/05/2017 15:52

A few weeks ago while I assume he was drunk as it was at about 2am an old colleague sent me a few messages basically saying he fancied me. I saw them the next morning and pointed out he was married and that it was inappropriate. Nothing else. He's not contacted me since.

I've just had a text from his wife and Jesus she's making out that I am some sort of man eater etc reading me the riot act, telling me to back off etc etc. I don't know what he's said to her as if she'd seen the messages she'd get a clear idea...

Wibu to point out I am not remotely interested in her husband and perhaps he is the one she needs to be talking to?!?

OP posts:
LedaP · 29/05/2017 17:09

Aww she isnt innocent. She has had a go at the Op. She could have messaged and asked her what was going on. Feeling insecure is no excuse of accusing peoplrle and being rude.

22Names · 29/05/2017 17:09

She might be in denial, and say the message is faked. Don't engage, she has to work through it by herself

MsGameandWatch · 29/05/2017 17:09

I used to be in the army. Women soldiers used to get a lot of grief from certain wives of male soldiers who felt very threatened by them. My stock response when accused of being after their husbands was uncontrollable laughter and "What?! there's a LOT of blokes in this unit, believe me your husband is the LAST one I would pick". You could see the outrage in their faces that their husbands weren't deemed worth a crack at 😏

MaisyPops · 29/05/2017 17:11

The woman was as innocent as the OP in terms of being the victim to the actions of the man.

However, she stopped being innocent the second she had a go at the OP suggesting that she was a man eater who was out to destroy her family etc.

Really if she was going to make contact with he "other woman" she should have been damn sure that the other woman was indeed the other woman before walking in accusing her of all sorts.

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 29/05/2017 17:11

Aww while I like to think I am Natalie Portmans body double I am perhaps more likely to get castes as Wayne Rooneys and I somehow doubt knowing him that I'm the only/first!

OP posts:
Beelzebop · 29/05/2017 17:12

Also worth mentioning that they may be considered to be harassing and slandering you?

Beelzebop · 29/05/2017 17:12

Also worth mentioning that they may be considered to be harassing and slandering you?

CalmItKermitt · 29/05/2017 17:13

Well done op.

LindyHemming · 29/05/2017 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beelzebop · 29/05/2017 17:19

Sorry about weird double post.
This happened to me, but I was the foolish wife. I flew off the handle and sent her a similar nasty text, I regretted it instantly. She sent me a text back that put me in my place Blush. I was hurt and lashing out, not excusable when you're innocent I know. X

Smeaton · 29/05/2017 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RebelRogue · 29/05/2017 17:24

I wonder if she'll go quiet,apologise or continue the crazyness, because "ofc you'd say no,but she knows how u look at him". Had that one before.Confused

Beelzebop · 29/05/2017 17:26

I bet she will regret it OP.

Beelzebop · 29/05/2017 17:26

I bet she will regret it OP.

Deemail · 29/05/2017 17:28

He'll probably try and convince her you've doctored the messages.
Poor woman, I feel sorry for her stuck with a liar and would be cheat.

MrsELM21 · 29/05/2017 17:29

Exactly what Fat said

ClopySow · 29/05/2017 17:37

Och i feel a bit sorry for her. He's clearly at it and filling her full of shite.

Don't take her shit, but i'd try not to be uneccessarily unkind.

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 29/05/2017 17:38

I chose to not say anything and just screenshot the messages and my reply. I shan't be unkind as I don't think it's fair and it would surprise me if he's form for it. Equally she knows where I work and those I work with and I don't want it to cause me grief.

OP posts:
IloveBanff · 29/05/2017 17:39

ClopySow all the OP has done is send the woman screenshots of the messages with no further comment.

IloveBanff · 29/05/2017 17:40

Cross-posted.

MoiraRosesMeltdown · 29/05/2017 17:44

There was nothing else you could have done. I never understand why women blame each other for these things. Surely this woman's anger should be pointed at her husband.
I know this isn't the same, but there is a little girl at my daughter's school whose father is married. The cliquey mums ignore this 'home-wrecker'. She isn't the one who is married and cheating.

WeDoNotSow · 29/05/2017 17:44

Understand why people would have advised to ignore, but honestly, some people just need telling. She stopped being a victim the minute she started texting you kicking off.
You've done the best of both, showing her the facts, whilst not engaging in the bs conversation.

Only1scoop · 29/05/2017 17:46

Think I'd have done the same Op in this case.
At least she can see what a scumbag he is.

Beelzebop · 29/05/2017 17:46

Good response OP!

daisychainagain · 29/05/2017 17:50

You did good with your reply.