to get annoyed with people who judge beach holidays?

[3DStanley]

I get really annoyed with the type of people who say 'Oh I could never lie on the beach for two weeks, you must be so bored!' and act like the only valid use of my precious two weeks off a year is trekking barefoot through the Andes teaching orphans English.

I get especially annoyed because 95% of them seem to earn lots of money for jobs with very little stress.

AIBU?

I'm not a beach holiday person mainly because I don't like very hot weather and I'm very pale! However I don't judge other or expect to be judged! From your other posts further down the thread I think your issue is rude people who feel the need to comment negatively on your choice as oppose to those who don't like each holidays. Some people can't help themselves and have to put their opinion across - ignore them!

Maisy:but why bring someone down when they're all excited describing their beach holiday by saying that it's something you'd hate? It shows a total lack of social skills and well, kindness. Fair enough to say it's not your thing if they say "oh it's so good, you really should go"but if they're just excited and talking to you about it, I think it's a nasty thing to do to announce that you'd find that boring. There is a time and a place for telling others your feelings about something and that isn't it.

curly
I agree. I've already said that if somebody mentioned it in conversation I wouldn't be all "oh it would bore me" if we're weren't good friends.

Between family and close friends we all tease each other in jest so it wouldn't bother me.

People on this thread have largely said "yeah I wouldn't like them but each to their own". That matters because the OP had a sample of people who love/hate/are indifferent to beach holidays. One thing that's common is that people have said their opinion but they wouldn't care or mention it in conversation.

There's no reason for people to go on that people who hate beach holidays are snobs or have non-stressful jobs. It makes zero sense, which is why I said people jumping to "they don't like my holiday because they're a snob" feels a bit like a chip on the shoulder and wanting to feel better.

n polite conversation with acquaintances it is! 'Have you booked for the summer?' 'Oh lovely, who will you be going with?' 'That sounds very relaxing/exciting/interesting'

You want everyone to lie about their opinions so as to validate your choices? Why not just talk to yourself in the mirror, its the same value.

other people have different ideas about things. Don't talk to them if you have no interest in hearing them.

I'm another who would hate a fortnight at the beach. I'm very fair skinned, burn easily, never tan, and just feel so uncomfortable in the extreme heat, have had prickly heat and mild sunstroke before. Oh and the heat is a trigger for my migraines. And mosquitoes love me. We do go away to European countries such as Portugal, Croatia, Spain etc in June or October when is not quite so hot and always to places where there are things to do and see, not just a beach. But, I do love those warm evenings abroad when you can sit outside a bar with the tapas and cocktails, without the need for a cardy!

In actual fact I am envious of those who can do that kind of holiday, you know those people who can enjoy relaxing in the sun, who effortlessly go a lovely golden brown and walk around looking sun kissed and healthy. I would love to be one of those women! Instead I would be white with some pink bits, hot and sweaty with ugly insect bites on my legs, hair gone all frizzy, sand in uncomfortable places.

I don't think people are generally judged for liking beach holidays, after all it is the norm to do so, judging by the millions who fly off to beach resorts and every year. It's just that for some of us they are anything but relaxing.

PeanutButter - lie or keep their opinions to themselves if they're likely to upset someone.

People do it all the time. It's called being polite. It remind me of the time I gave someone a bottle of champagne for her birthday. She pulled a face, said she didn't like champagne and would regift it. It's not honest opinion, it's rudeness. Unless you're asked to give your unvarnished opinion of course.

I gave someone a bottle of champagne for her birthday. She pulled a face, said she didn't like champagne and would regift it.

I would have saved her the bother and taken it off her and left what ever gathering she was having.

When we go to our favourite place in Greece all I do for 2 weeks is lie on a sunlounger with a loaded Kindle, loaded iPod and DH for company and get me a G & T when I want one Last year though we went on a cruise, and we're doing the same this year, so will be exploring in the Med (and going to Pompeii - I can't wait), so it will be something different again.

I wouldn't dream of criticising someone else's holiday choices, similarly I wouldn't expect them to criticise mine.

"It seems that all the people who 'travel' have loads of holidays, money and fairly stress free lives."

Could it not simply be because they are in jobs where the stress consists in having to remain stationary for very long periods of time?

I'm an academic (for various reasons rather badly paid). Only part-time but even so I sometimes have days of sitting in front of the screen for 12 hours with only the occasional quick pop to the loo. My colleagues who are full time do this a lot, a lot. Quite understandable, I'd have thought, if our idea of relaxation is not to go to a place where you get to sit or lie still even more. That really doesn't mean our jobs are stress-free.

My dd otoh is a barrista. She quite likes the idea of spending a weekend off in bed- and very understandable too.

For most people a holiday is a much-needed break from what they normally do. Whatever that may be.

It's not acceptable to say 'oh dear, I couldn't possibly live in a semi detached house, it's fine for you of course, but I need more space and a larger garden and can't bear to hear the neighbours'.

Actually, loads of people do say that. Particularly on the internet - you only have to look at threads on mumsnet about noisy neighbours. Sure as night follows day, someone will pop up and say 'well, that's what you get when you live in a semi. That's why I chose a detached house'. As if the person with the neighbour problems should just have thought it through a little bit and bought a detached house instead...

And I remember being filled with excitement when I bought my first house, which happened to have been previously a housing executive house (although in an estate where most were now privately owned). It was astounding the number of people who said 'well, it's ok for you, but I could never live in an estate'

YABU, I love sightseeing I can't lie on a beach all day.
I want to explore temples and caves and see the sights. I love the sea, just not all day. Bit if that's what people like I don't care.
Horses for courses.

lie or keep their opinions to themselves if they're likely to upset someone. / People do it all the time. It's called being polite.
Oh, just let us not upset anyone. After all, there is nothing more important than being naice. Happy January, that's a very twisted view of what "polite" is.

The OP isn't saying that other people are unreasonable to enjoy a different type of holiday. She is saying that it is unreasonable to consider yourself superior because you prefer to trek/sightsee rather than sunbathe/swim/snorkel/whatever. Which, despite being a northern Europe camping holiday stalwart, I agree with.

To the people who say they judge, what exactly is the judgement you make?

I love beach holidays. I get horrible eczema, and the combination of sunshine and salt water clears it up completely, and it feels great. A quiet beach, a chance to read all the books I like, with breaks to go for a swim sounds blissful.

I also love looking around museums and galleries and exploring new cities.

And I like walking through beautiful countryside.

Adventure stuff like whitewater rafting and rock-climbing does nothing for me, though.

My perfect fortnight's holiday tends to be a week in a culturally interesting place and a week of relaxing by the sea.

She is saying that it is unreasonable to consider yourself superior because you prefer to trek/sightsee rather than sunbathe/swim/snorkel/whatever. Which, despite being a northern Europe camping holiday stalwart, I agree with.

That's the central issue with this thread.
Somebody can disagree and give their ideas without considering themselves superior.

It's just like people saying "blah people who don't like beach holidays are snobby" , "they must have less stressful jobs".

All bollocks.

Having an opinion on a holiday type is NOT the same as feeling superior to somebody. Why is this so hard for people to grasp?

Is that to me? I am having no problems grasping it. I think some people have decided it's about one thing, and others have decided it's about something else. So there is a lot of arguing at cross purposes.

Judging is different to not liking.

No not to you. it was a general exasperated "why can't people get this on this thread"?

Some people on this thread have judged.

But equally quite a few beach holiday fans seem to be very much "poor me anyone who doesn't like my holiday is a snobby judgey pants". It's that defensive and out of propoetion response I don't like.

I like a little bit of beach as part of an active holiday. I'd hate 2 weeks on a beach wherever it is. It's not about being a snob. I just don't like it.

Iona, twisted? To keep your opinions to yourself if (1) you haven't been asked for them, or (2) they are delivered in a superior way?

I must be very old fashioned to take 'naice' as a compliment rather than an insult as yes I do quite enjoying being kind to people and leaving them feeling good about themselves.

Just to be clear, my take on op's post is - have any holiday you want, have any opinion you want, just be thoughtful about how you express them.

lie or keep their opinions to themselves if they're likely to upset someone. / People do it all the time. It's called being polite

Lookit, if you're going to get upset by people liking a different kind of holiday to you, thats your own problem. They are still being polite.

She is saying that it is unreasonable to consider yourself superior because you prefer to trek/sightsee rather than sunbathe/swim/snorkel/whatever.

Except they aren't, its just that paranoid people think that other peoples opinions are judgement on their opinions, which is very rarely the case. They are just being weird and arrogant.

*If you're going to get upset about people liking a different kind of holiday to you, that's your own problem.
*
No one in their right mind would get upset about someone liking a different kind of holiday to them, or disagreeing with their choices as part of a discussion where opinion is invited.

No, it's about how opinions are expressed.

'Oh you're going to Tenerife? Gosh I would just hate that sort of holiday. Don't you get bored just sitting about? I mean couldn't you just do that in your garden? I suppose I'm lucky that Fenella and Tarquin detest package holidays...all that herding...they prefer museums and art galleries to water parks..haha, each to their own.'

Like people looking horrified that you've taken your kids to mcdonald's as they airily tell you that Farquar would hate it because he only likes fine dining.

The OP specifically referred to someone who "visibly scoffed" at her choice of destination. If that wasn't you, and wouldn't be you, then you are not the sort of person she is referring to as being unreasonable . The poster who said she did judge, she is being unreasonable.

So she says. People imagine a lot of reactions that aren;t actually there!

*So she says
*
we tend to take posts at face value on mn don't we? Otherwise where would we be?

'My husband just verbally abused me'
So you say, could you be imagining it?

'A friend just snubbed me spectacularly'
So you say, could you be seeing things that aren't there?

Most of them its fine, but all the "someone looked at me funny" or raised an eyebrow at me is often just weird paranoia.
Up to you though.