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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this about breastfeeding?

98 replies

Iloverichtea · 27/05/2017 21:34

Just curious as to what people's opinions are really.

In the last few weeks I saw a guest on This Morning who was still breastfeeding her 5yo son. It got me thinking about bfeeding older children.

What do you wise MNetters think about this? Are there benefits health-wise as children get older? Is it more about Mum than baby? Or does it just come down to to what feels right for each family. I imagine it becomes a bit hazardous when they cut teeth Grin

I have a 9mo DS who was/is formula fed, but I have an open mind as to what to do with any future DCs.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iloverichtea · 27/05/2017 22:00

Is there a better board for this rather than AIBU? I can ask for it to be moved right? It seems to be getting up people's noses here and that really wasn't my intention! Posted here bc of traffic.

OP posts:
PetalMettle · 27/05/2017 22:01

I would try and bf future children if you can and you want to. There are health benefits if it works for you and your family. I wouldn't neccessarily go into it thinking of an end date, you might end up wanting to move it either way, and you can decide as you go along

PetalMettle · 27/05/2017 22:01

I think there's an infant feeding board

ScrimshawTheSecond · 27/05/2017 22:02

You may be surprised how many people bf to about that age. It's not something that's really talked about much.

Yes, it's beneficial, even if by the later age its usually so infrequent that I expect it's beneficial mostly in the way that, say, hugs and singing lullabies are.

I'm sorry to hear you worry about feeding your wee one. Everybody feels guilty about various things as parents; we're mostly all just doing the best we can.

Smellbellina · 27/05/2017 22:02

In what way is it more for the mother's benefit then the child's? What is that inferring?

Original poster
Iloverichtea · 27/05/2017 22:06

Thanks Petal I'll ask for it to be moved.

Scrimshaw Very true, I tend to feel guilty about most things I do or don't do!

OP posts:
Belmo · 27/05/2017 22:07

I read a thread exactly like this when I first joined mumsnet six years ago, just before I had my dd. I opened the thread thinking feeding an over-one year old was weird, and finished up deciding up until 2 was probably okay, but older than that was odd disgusting.
I fed that dd until she was three and a half, and am currently feeding one year old ds. They're only ever one day older than they were the day before!

Original poster
Iloverichtea · 27/05/2017 22:07

Bellina That's not my view so I'm not inferring anything - it's what someone on social media commented in relation to the programme. It sounds like from people's responses it's really beneficial in many ways, which is great.

OP posts:
Cheby · 27/05/2017 22:08

The more for mum than baby comment is utterly ridiculous. Anyone who has ever bf a toddler knows you can not make a child feed who doesn't want to. There were plenty of times I'd have liked my then 2yo to have a feed, to expedite bedtime, naps etc, but if they're not interested then that's that. Ffs I can't make my newborn feed when she doesn't want to! Would that I could, it would help with her weight gain issues enormously.

PetalMettle · 27/05/2017 22:09

Fwiw richtea when my DC was sick I worried that if I'd given him formula he'd have been bigger and better able to deal with losing weight. One always feels guilt about something

GreenShadow · 27/05/2017 22:09

I breastfed for many reasons but one of the prime ones was because I'm lazy and BFing is by far the easiest option - no bottles to mix, just plug baby onto breast and sit back an relax.
I fed DS1 to 12 months, DS2 to 24 months and DS3 to about 3 years. Once passed the first year I suppose I carried on because they enjoyed it. Towards the end, it was only at bedtime and probably more of a comfort thing than actually getting much substance.
DS3 would probably have been happy to continue, but I needed my evening freedom by then.

barrygetamoveonplease · 27/05/2017 22:09

Don't care much about the food/immunities aspect. Fed mine till four years 3 months, she fed hers till four years 6 months. Because they were babies and that's what you do with babies.

Happyhippy45 · 27/05/2017 22:09

Society tells us we only breastfeed babies. Not children.
Each to their own and all that.....personally I'd find it a massive inconvenience to have to closely monitor what medication/alcohol etc I could have so as not to effect my breast feeding child. I bf both my kids. My dc1 at about 8/9 months clamped down on my nipple, pulled her head back, stretching my nipple and gave her head a shake.....it was really fucking painful.....I didn't bf for too much longer after that tbh. She thought it was hilarious and did it quite a few times. Really put me off.

Original poster
Iloverichtea · 27/05/2017 22:10

Cheby I hear you re weight gain - my boy struggles a bit even on formula and three meals a day Sad

OP posts:
PetalMettle · 27/05/2017 22:10

Alcohol is fine, unless you're so pissed you drop the child

AngelicaSchuylerChurch · 27/05/2017 22:11

There are genuinely people out there who believe that women derive sexual pleasure from breastfeeding. I didn't believe this until I encountered people who held this opinions for myself. We live in a society which finds it very, very difficult to see breasts as anything other than sexual.

I agree with the pp who said that you would be surprised at how widespread the feeding of preschoolers is. I fed DD until she was 3.5 and literally the only people who knew that we were still going were DH, DD, and me.

Original poster
Iloverichtea · 27/05/2017 22:12

Ah Petal it's bloody hard isn't it - always second guessing yourself!

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 27/05/2017 22:14

It's the norm to feed children milk daily until around the age of five. Nobody seems to have a problem with this bit.

If a child is getting milk from their mother, why would you decide to stop and make them change to a different sort of milk? If BFing is a happy and positive part of your family routine it seems obvious that you would carry on until the child stops naturally.

My two both stopped naturally within a couple of weeks of their third birthdays. I had felt there are any reason to deny them at any time.

I didn't need proof that there were still health benefit when they were two or three and I wasn't doing it for any reason other than that there was no reason not to.

Teeth were an issue on just one occasion. DD2 was around a year old and she bit me. It wasn't hard enough to leave a mark and my sharp intake of breath was enough to make sure she didn't do it again.

Original poster
Iloverichtea · 27/05/2017 22:15

Fricking hell Angelica do people really believe that?!? That's crazy!!

OP posts:
newtlover · 27/05/2017 22:22

there are soe mad people about, OP. Another one here who bf several DCs till 2 years old, but not many people knew as it was mostly bed time and first thing in the morning by then. I think once you get over the first few difficult weeks with bf, it is so easy there seems no point in stopping.

newtlover · 27/05/2017 22:22

SOME mad people

Sandsnake · 27/05/2017 22:24

I still breastfeed at 18 months and in a way it is as much for me as for my DS, purely because I can't be bothered with the annoyance of weaning him! Most of the time I would prefer to stop but every now and then I'm really grateful for it (illness, when he's eaten nothing but rubbish all day etc).

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/05/2017 22:25

I fed dd till she was 2.5. I decided to stop because she would only feed every 3 or 4 days. On the day she fed, she would want milk several times and it became rather painful. I put up with teeth when she was around 6 months and she soon got used to not digging them in so much but this was different. I never fed with the intention of feeding dd for so long. She and I bonded well, has always been a cuddly child and it seemed like the right thing to do for her. I enjoyed the snuggles even though it was really hard at times. Once she hit a year, it was easy. I know not everyone can or wants to breastfeed and speaking personally, my body was made to feed my child and for me it was the most natural thing to do.

Original poster
Iloverichtea · 27/05/2017 22:25

I do really like the idea that you know they're getting some nutrition, even if they've had a rubbish day food-wise.

OP posts:
bloodymaria · 27/05/2017 22:37

I do think there are health benefits as they get older, certainly in terms of feeling secure and emotionally connected. The nutritional aspect obviously becomes less important as solids make up more of their diet but I like to think that even on the days where 80% of her meals go on the floor at least DD is getting some nutrition from breastmilk. And like a pp said, I don't see the sense in swapping my milk for cow's milk when breastfeeding is working for us right now.

Really, really do not get the 'it's for the mother's benefit' comments. Just so daft, there are enough battles to fight with a wilful toddler. Ramming a boob in a reluctant face is not one of them.