to be worried about my neighbour(s)?

[MeadowHay]

I live in a flat, there is a family below us. The man has always shouted at lot at the top of his voice, which is annoying for us. Mostly he shouts at their three children (all under 5) and he shouts in a language we don't speak, so I can't know what he is actually saying. I have always assumed it is just typical stuff and whilst he clearly has a horrible temper there's nowt I can do about that. I have always been a bit concerned about his partner and about whether he is shouting at her sometimes but there has been no way of knowing. About once a month or so he would clearly be arguing with her as you would hear her shouting back a bit and then lots of doors slamming and usually him walking out for a bit and then come back later.

The last month or so their arguments have intensified. He shouts at the children really loudly multiple times a day, I'm not sure if that's got worse over time or not, often when the children are crying. But I have definitely noticed that they are arguing together more often and about once a week over the last few weeks this has been accompanied by very loud shouting from her as well, and loud crying from all the children, and door slamming and then like banging and on one occasion crashing sounds which sounded like possibly things being thrown or furniture being knocked about or something.

I am getting increasingly worried about her and the children but I don't know if I'm just being a nosy neighbour and I need to just ignore them? The worst fights have never gone on longer than say 10 minutes or so and he doesn't always leave the house afterwards, I don't feel like it sounds severe enough to call the police, there's no screaming or anything and whilst the banging sounds bad their children bang about a lot in the day so maybe I'm misinterpretating it given that I'm already a bit distressed hearing them both scream at each other in front of their little children who get distressed too. I would go down and check if she/they are ok but I have an anxiety disorder so I can't do that, and if DH was home I would send him but he is always at work so far when they have those awful rows.

AIBU to be worried, am I just being nosy or would you be worried? Is there anything I can do about it?

do not put yourself at risk
Last night I heard some weird noises so I looked out of the back window and the "parents" were throwing beer bottle after beer bottle into the recycling box from the back door to the garden.

I looked out of the front window and the four boys were kicking a football at people's cars aimlessly making a racket.

Trying to see what was going on, I watched them for a bit.

One of the boys walked off and then I heard some shouting from the back of the house.

I was still at the front window when the boy came back.

One of the other boys said "are we allowed in yet?"

First boy said "no, she's mad, she told me to fuck off"

I wouldn't have minded but it was 23:45 and I wanted to go to bed.

Persian Sorry to hear about the situation you find yourself in. That's so horrible . I really don't know what to suggest I'm afraid.

DH texted NSPCC for a call back a few days ago because he couldn't get through at the time but I don't think they called us back unless it was when he was at work. I've been away for a couple of days for a funeral but back now. I didn't really want to do the e-mail thing online because I thought it might be confusing as it would be a very long message but DH is at work long hours now so I will do that.

Incidentally the family seem strangely quiet over the last week or so. It's got to the point where their queitness worries me as well though now given how noisy they usually are.

To the person who said about hearing games, laughter, singing etc, I do! I hear good stuff too don't get me wrong. Which is how I can differentiate from that, and the really awful bellowing in rage.

I can't use Google translate because the language doesn't use an English-style alphabet (sorry, I can't remember what the proper word is for that ) so I wouldn't know how to write it and probably wouldn't be able to write it exactly phonetically anyway as they talk very fast.

I hear good stuff too don't get me wrong
I can honestly say that I never heard any good family sounds coming from my NDN's house.

Either the kids are outside alone with no parental supervision or the parents are being abusive towards the kids.

Some other neighbours have actually asked if there is even a mother in the house as she never seems to leave the house at all and is often spotted by her front door in her pyjamas screaming at the kids regardless of the time of day.

I thought at one point she might have agoraphobia or something but she can go out when she feels like it.

Once a year her cousin comes to stay and for a fortnight they spend all day drinking and then they go clubbing at night.

Usually you see the pair of them coming home as you are going out in the morning.

Domestic abuse includes verbal arguments/abuse. If they are frequent and cause you feel unsettled then think about how the children in the house feel. I think you should report to police or social services. There may be existing information held about the family so however minor you think it is - it is likely part of a bigger picture.

I am a social worker in child protection and what you describe in my view should be shared social services.

Mama Hi, that is really useful to hear you perspective as someone who works in that field, thanks very much. I am going to report it online to NSPCC and I assume if they're concerned they will pass it on to social services etc?

Agree, report it and definitely mention that the mother never leaves the house. The family sound as if they are struggling and need support at the very least.

Let the professionals decide if there is real cause for concern or not.

Persian, IMO that incident warrants a call to 101 on its own. Those poor children.

Have literally just reported online on the NSPCC online form. I mentioned about my concerns about the shouting and noise accompanying them (banging etc), about the fact that mum never leaves the house apart from to take eldest to and from school, that the children never leave the house apart from eldest to school, that mum does not answer the door if her husband is not there, that they have horrific damp and mould all over their walls, and that they are probably overcrowded given they live in a 1 bed flat. I gave them my name and email address if they want to contact me for more info or anything.

MatildaTheCat
Thanks for advice but I have reported it many times.

Have a look at my earlier posts for information.

Sorry but I can't post about it all again, just thinking about it really gets to me and I am so frustrated by it the situation that I will admit that I shed a few tears when I made my earlier posts on this thread.

Glad to hear you've reported it Meadow, that way it can be shared with social services. And it's worth considering that there could be similar concerns raised before and perhaps one referral would not necessary result in intervention but your information could be what triggers more being done.
All the best.