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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hand hold

18 replies

Stressedoutmumofone · 27/05/2017 10:59

You get your life back right?? Ds is 2, I'm a sahp and everyday I do the same thing; up, shower, make
Breakfast, tidy up from breakfast, go to shop, come home make lunch, tidy up from lunch, prep dinner when ds naps, tidy house, serve dinner, tidy up, ds bedtime routine, finish tidying up then collapse on sofa. (Obviously there are days this is different and we do go out to soft play, town centre etc) but this is my average day and it makes me feel so boring. I'm only 26 and I feel like an old frump. I love ds so much but I feel like my life now just revolves around him and housework. Please tell me it isn't always like this.

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Creampastry · 27/05/2017 11:01

It does get easier, but in years to come, you will find yourself wanting to be back at this stage where you are! Rose tinted glasses and all that!

ChasedByBees · 27/05/2017 11:02

My DC is a few years older than yours and so independent. I sometimes wish I could cradle her like I did in all those sleep deprived years I can hardly remember as tiredness has wiped my memory.

So yes it gets better but keep a diary now of the lovely moments.

Highalert · 27/05/2017 11:05

Can you do something for you in the evenings.Do you have a DP?

Original poster
Stressedoutmumofone · 27/05/2017 11:07

I love love love ds so much I just feel that literally all he does just now is bite my feet, run through the house like a small tornado destroying everything, throwing tantrums because I tell him not to bite feet/destroy things. He doesn't talk yet (another issue!) so it's hard to communicate with him and I think that's why he gets frustrated and has tantrums!

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Original poster
Stressedoutmumofone · 27/05/2017 11:08

Yes I have a dp, he works full time and kind of switches off when he gets home. I do almost all ds and housework related things

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TheweewitchRoz · 27/05/2017 11:08

The others are right in that it does get easier & you will look back with fondness but that doesn't make it better right now. Can you get your parents / ILs to help a little in the day to give you a breather for an hour?

Do something in the evening that takes you out of the house? Have you spoken to your DH about this?

TheweewitchRoz · 27/05/2017 11:10

He needs to step up more in the evening - talk to him & let him know how you feel. Whether your DC can speak to you or not doesn't mean you can't chatter away to him.

Do keep in mind that it does get easier.

Original poster
Stressedoutmumofone · 27/05/2017 11:12

My parents have ds a lot in fairness but I still seem to end up doing the same things, with maybe a bit of tv thrown in.
Can I just say I have a good relationship, a healthy ds and good support from family and I am very very lucky! I just sometimes feel bored. Like I have resigned myself to be Mummy forever and not just me! I miss my old figure and bank balance! Lol

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Highalert · 27/05/2017 11:12

You need to talk to your DH and get him more involved in the evenings.

Join a gym or do an evening class or go out with friends even if it's only one evening a week. It will make you feel more like you again.

Original poster
Stressedoutmumofone · 27/05/2017 11:13

I drink more wine than I used to, like it's my reward for getting through the day. I know it's not healthy

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Talith · 27/05/2017 11:13

It gets easier and easier and then.... Even.... Fun

I found the preschool years draining too. It's really hard relentless work.

I'm having more fun in my 40s and look better than I did in my late 20s and I was certain I'd feel frumpy forever too when mine were small. Hang in there xxx

Original poster
Stressedoutmumofone · 27/05/2017 11:13

Thanks everyone, I know I sound pathetic I just needed an annonymous moan!

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acquiescence · 27/05/2017 11:26

You could do some home workouts to try and get your figure back if that's something you miss? Long walks with ds in the pram? Do you have many friends to meet up with, or groups to go to so you can socialise a little? He will get his free hours soon then you will have a bit more time to yourself or to consider going back to work.

Original poster
Stressedoutmumofone · 27/05/2017 11:30

Yeah he goes to nursery in march then I plan to go back to work, even part time. Me and dp get married next month so think the planning etc is just stressing me out aswell!

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ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 27/05/2017 11:32

Your DP needs to do a bit more. What happens on weekends? We used to have one lie in each which made a huge difference. I does get better once they communicate more and are able to focus on playing for more than 3 seconds before wanting to do something new.

TheweewitchRoz · 27/05/2017 11:32

It is relentless when they're that age Flowers

PlayOnWurtz · 27/05/2017 11:33

You get your life back if you take it back but for me it took until the dc were at school to start feeling me again.

Original poster
Stressedoutmumofone · 27/05/2017 11:43

At weekends I watch ds while dp sleeps and recovers from his week at work, he does work hard to support us so I don't grudge him it!!

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