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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To exaggerate my illness not to go to in laws wedding anniversary celebration this weekend?

32 replies

Fortunatepiggy · 27/05/2017 09:58

I've got cold/ flu symptoms went to bed at 8 last night feel achey and tired and headache.

We are meant to be travelling 4 hours to attend in laws big wedding anniversary party up north but going that far in the bank holiday traffic is making me feel worse.

Also going to cost £££ as nowhere to stay at inlaws because their house is full of crap..compulsive buyers/ hoarders

But I could go .. Just don't really want to!

OP posts:
tigerdriverII · 27/05/2017 10:00

Don't go! And you're feeling poorly enough without exaggerating. Just exaggerate your regret at not going, but believably so.

JennyOnAPlate · 27/05/2017 10:00

Yanbu. Presumably dh can go without you? I hate travelling that distance by car at the best of times.

Jupitar · 27/05/2017 10:00

Just go, what else you going to do? Lie around in bed all day Grin

BusterGonad · 27/05/2017 10:01

Don't go, if you are ill/tired/need a break then stay home. Not relevant really but my husband was away for 4 days and I had the flu, me and my son spent the time going to bed early, waking up late and generally doing sweet FA. It was bliss and just what I needed.

RancidOldHag · 27/05/2017 10:02

Everyone else goes, but if you're not well then you don't.

But if it's really just can't be arsed, I'll kick your arse for you. Family events bind families, and are worth making the effort for.

(if you had no intention of going, you should have made excuses at time if invitation, not on the day)

BusterGonad · 27/05/2017 10:02

^we didn't even get dressed! 😂

MajesticWhine · 27/05/2017 10:04

I would stuff myself full of cold n flu tablets and get on with it, for the sake of family relationships. YABU

supermoon100 · 27/05/2017 10:09

Totally agree with majestic. I would have to be at deaths door not to attend an event like that

Peanut14 · 27/05/2017 10:11

YANBU to not want to go if you are feeling sick but it sounds like you never wanted to go, you always knew you had to pay for accommodation, the distance of travel etc and are now using them as an excuse.

You should have declined at the time if the invitation, you are being a bit crap really to your family member.

Original poster
Fortunatepiggy · 27/05/2017 10:13

You are right .. I need to man ( woman whatever) up!!

Dh doesn't really want to go either and they are his parents! can't expect him to do 4 hour trip on own with ds when I am being a bit selfish

Will go but will have to medicate with wine when I get there!!!

OP posts:
FlossyMooToo · 27/05/2017 10:16

Will go but will have to medicate with wine when I get there!!!

Sounds like an ideal party to me Grin

Hope you feel better soon Flowers

FadedRed · 27/05/2017 10:17

Only you know how poorly you feel, but the other thing to think about is the likelihood of passing on your cold to others, which is not so sociable, especially if there are going to be elderly or vulnerable people attending.

Original poster
Fortunatepiggy · 27/05/2017 10:23

Good point faded red but I feel like a miserable buggar so doubt anyone will want to talk to me. I will sit in the corner being anti social and get dh to explain I am under the weather Wink

OP posts:
PoppyFleur · 27/05/2017 10:30

Do not go. If you are ill and contagious it's not fair to spread your germs, stay at home, get well.

Apologise profusely to in-laws and send lovely flowers/gift, ask DH to call and explain you are too ill to be left and you will arrange a special visit soon. No-one needs your germs at a party, the humane thing to do is stay at home (and if that happens to work out better for you, well so be it!).

BeyondThePage · 27/05/2017 10:31

Don't go - it is not about you (sitting alone anti-socially would make it about you) - it is their celebration. DH and kids can go and have fun and you can send a nice card with a personal apology.

PollyPerky · 27/05/2017 10:34

If this is a BIG wedding annivesary am i right in thinking Golden? So they are in their 70s perhaps? If so you ought to stay away. It's not right to risk passing on your cold. Make it up by going to see them when you are better and make a fuss of them then.

NapQueen · 27/05/2017 10:34

Dh and ds really should go. You arent being selfish, you are unwell. Send them off.

EC22 · 27/05/2017 10:35

Surely you sorted somewhere to stay before now?!

You really ought to go though.

expatinscotland · 27/05/2017 10:35

Don't go and spread it around! 'Medicate with wine'? You're not really ill if you're well enough to drink Hmm. Stay home.

ssd · 27/05/2017 10:38

I wouldn't go

Family events bind families, and are worth making the effort for

not all of them

Slimthistime · 27/05/2017 10:40

Don't go
If you aren't well you'll get worse and give it to others

expatinscotland · 27/05/2017 10:41

I can't believe how many are suggesting an ill person go to a family event full of old people and kids and pass on whatever she has.

happypoobum · 27/05/2017 10:42

I don't understand why DH can't go on his own or with DS?

YouTheCat · 27/05/2017 10:44

If your dh doesn't want to go either can he be unavailable for the party as he needs to 'nurse' you?

OlennasWimple · 27/05/2017 10:44

Why can't DH do the trip on his own?

Won't you lose ££s anyway because of cancelling the booking so late?

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