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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH let DD watch cartoons all day

66 replies

Natsku · 26/05/2017 22:22

OH was off work today ill, and DD's (6yrs - not in school, live abroad) daycare was shut so she stayed home with him while I went to work. The other employee couldn't come in so instead of my usual 3 hours I stayed all day to help out and got home about 4 o'clock and found DD sat on the sofa watching cartoons on the iPad, still in her knickers (so hadn't got dressed yet at all).

I don't expect him to entertain her, especially as he's ill, but she can and will go and play happily outside or in the playroom if you just tell her to switch off the cartoons, but if you don't tell her she'll watch for hours like a zombie. So he had just not bothered to tell her to go do something else all day - he's not even that ill, just a bad cold, he was well enough to sit at the computer watching films.

I cannot be unreasonable to expect him to make her go play or get some fresh air at some point during the day, right??! She switched off the cartoons the moment I told her and went outside happily enough, its not like its a big ask.

OP posts:
PeaFaceMcgee · 26/05/2017 22:25

A day of cartoons doesn't hurt anyone, not worth getting in a twist over, yabu I think.

Original poster
Natsku · 26/05/2017 22:28

A whole day, from about 9 (assuming she woke up when she normally does when left to wake up naturally) until 4 - that's 7 hours of sitting on the sofa watching cartoons. If she was ill I'd be fine with it but she's not and she needs to use her energy otherwise she doesn't sleep (couldn't get her to bed until 10 tonight because she was too wide awake)

OP posts:
PeaFaceMcgee · 26/05/2017 22:30

Meh... It's not everyday!

callmeadoctor · 26/05/2017 22:30

Wouldn't worry about one day at all. Nothing in the grand scheme of things!

PeaFaceMcgee · 26/05/2017 22:31

My 7yo quite often doesn't sleep til 10ish anyway.

FlossyMooToo · 26/05/2017 22:32

Hes ill. It wont harm her.

If you wanted her parented differently then you should have stayed home.

Many a mumnetter is told to have a tv day and do the bare minimum when they are ill but have DC to care for.

MrsJayy · 26/05/2017 22:33

He wasn't well it was 1 day your dd would have thought it was a great treat calm down it is ok it really is,

namechange20050 · 26/05/2017 22:34

Do you seriously think that this has harmed her in some way? Your DH is ill, give him a break.

OhFuds · 26/05/2017 22:34

I was ill last week and I was too sick to take my 2 DC's to nursery so I lay on the couch and the DC's spent the day until bedtime watching TV, playing on their tablets and eating rubbish.

One day of lazing around is fine.

Original poster
Natsku · 26/05/2017 22:35

I would have taken her to work with me if I had expected this.

I always figured the having a tv day thing was for when you have toddlers who won't let you lie down in peace - a 6 year old who will happily play for hours alone if told to is quite different. But I guess one day isn't so bad, will just make sure she spends a lot of time outside tomorrow.

OP posts:
EnjoyYourShitCake · 26/05/2017 22:35

Where would she have gone if he wasn't ill?

MrsJayy · 26/05/2017 22:36

I would love to sit about in my pants and watch tv all day

Original poster
Natsku · 26/05/2017 22:36

She would have come to work with me. I work in a restaurant and she sits at a table and colours and plays with lego and plays with the owners son when he arrives after school.

OP posts:
Smeaton · 26/05/2017 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 26/05/2017 22:37

You are being massively unreasonable. A day watching TV won't harm her (or at least I fucking hope not based on the amount of times I've had to have stay in TV days with ds due to PND where I couldn't face getting dressed let alone leaving the house).
What do you think are the terrible consequences of this?

AnathemaPulsifer · 26/05/2017 22:38

YABU. It would be borderline if he hadn't been ill, but he was. You don't get to decide how he parents. Did you have to stay all day? I'd consider it pretty inconsiderate if you unnecessarily stayed late at work leaving an ill partner stuck with childcare. Don't compound that by telling him his coping method was wrong.

Purplepicnic · 26/05/2017 22:38

I'm with you OP. Shit and lazy parenting on his part.

wheresthel1ght · 26/05/2017 22:39

I suggest you get a grip. It was cartoons.

At 6 she should be able to self limit so why are you not cross at her for spending the whole day vegging on the sofa?

Dd (3) has had a day of cartoons this week. We were away at the weekend, an early had had a busy day on Monday, she needed a down day. It doesn't hurt to have them once in a while.

MrsJayy · 26/05/2017 22:39

I am sure he fed her and she went to the toilet maybe played a bit im sure it wasn't all day

AnathemaPulsifer · 26/05/2017 22:39

she sits at a table and colours and plays with lego and plays with the owners son when he arrives after school.

How would that have been 'using her energy'?!

stitchglitched · 26/05/2017 22:39

YABU. We sometimes have TV days if kids have had a bad night or one of us is ill. We had one today watching films til about 4 and then the kids went in the garden for a few hours as it had cooled down. Not a big deal IMO.

Megbert · 26/05/2017 22:40

She didn't need to come to work with you. She was looked after perfectly well by her dad.

I have done the same when I have been sick and would be mightily pissed off if DH wanted in and started giving me crap about it.

You need to seriously unclench. Haven't you ever had a 'Do no nothing' day? I'm sure she had a great time.

Iloveanimals · 26/05/2017 22:40

One days fine. Don't be too harsh on him. Awful when you feel ill and have kids round you Grin

Megbert · 26/05/2017 22:41

if DH swanned in

Opps.

NapQueen · 26/05/2017 22:41

In my book if you are too ill for work then you are too ill for childcare. If he honestly felt so ill that he needed to be off, then dd should have come with you so he could actually get some rest. If Im so ill that I have to be off work my dcs still go to childcare because I need bedrest and sleep.

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