OH let DD watch cartoons all day

[Natsku]

OH was off work today ill, and DD's (6yrs - not in school, live abroad) daycare was shut so she stayed home with him while I went to work. The other employee couldn't come in so instead of my usual 3 hours I stayed all day to help out and got home about 4 o'clock and found DD sat on the sofa watching cartoons on the iPad, still in her knickers (so hadn't got dressed yet at all).

I don't expect him to entertain her, especially as he's ill, but she can and will go and play happily outside or in the playroom if you just tell her to switch off the cartoons, but if you don't tell her she'll watch for hours like a zombie. So he had just not bothered to tell her to go do something else all day - he's not even that ill, just a bad cold, he was well enough to sit at the computer watching films.

I cannot be unreasonable to expect him to make her go play or get some fresh air at some point during the day, right??! She switched off the cartoons the moment I told her and went outside happily enough, its not like its a big ask.

Its a new job and I'm not used to it or the early mornings so its all a bit of a stress and I needed a nap as soon as I got home so was a bit 'argh' to see DD still not dressed but she went and got dressed and went outside when I told her and then cuddled me in bed while I settled to nap and didn't watch any more cartoons the rest of the evening so the day ended ok really. Just an overreaction from stress and exhaustion - just glad I vented here rather than to OH :)

Natku I totally agree that learning to play alone is a good thing, but given crayons, lego and another child that she has no choice but to play with is not the same as what you were expecting of your OH, even though he was ill.

It just seems to me that your standards are quite high for him, yet quite low for yourself and if that would be her day for 5 weeks during the summer then you need to find proper childcare or rethink your job. Sitting every day with crayons and lego for 5 weeks isnt just boring, its cruel.

It will only be 3 hours a day in the summer PyongyangKipperbang, and at least one week we'll be on holiday anyway. I can't quit really, I've been unemployed for years and if I quit the unemployment office would, understandably, be pissed and stop my benefits, plus I'm close to the family and I know that they are struggling and need my help. Maybe she could go to their house while I work and play with their son (she absolutely adores him so I know she would like that) as its only a short walk away from the restaurant. At that point actually she could probably go to the nearest park to play if she doesn't want to sit and colour (she's old enough by local standards).

Crayons and lego and a friend to play with are cruel?? Hmmmmm that's news to me!

He sounds nice, but with a touch of man flu. How do you know it was man flu and he wasn't ill?

It would have been good for your OH to have got her dressed, but a day of TV occasionally isn't going to do her any harm.

If you know her daycare is going to be closed for the summer, why not look for somewhere else or a childminder who will take her just for those weeks, at least for some of each week? I agree with Pyong that it will be boring colouring for three hours every day.

Plus it seems like something of a double standard to not want your partner to let her watch TV all day, but you'lj let her go to the park alone as 'she's old enough by local standards.'. What about your standards? It does seem that you have different ones for you and for your partner.

Not the end of the world, OP.

he's lazy - would have been livid! 7 hours on thr ipad is unacceptable, eecept the child is really ill! wouldn't get upset about the not dressed thing, but 7 hours of TV?????

So the dad was too ill to go to work and OP did 6 more hours than she was supposed to but he is a lazy parent because the child watched cartoons for a day

He is usually great. Hands on and usually does alot with her.

So yeah yabu. One day doesnt harm anyone. Especially when the adult there is ill.

When I had hyperemesis in my second pregnancy and had to look after my toddler two days a week he watched tv for up to twelve hours a day. We managed in very difficult circumstances and yes, I felt bad and worried about it but it did him no harm and he had plenty of activities the other five days of the week. So this as a one-off I wouldn't worry about at all.

YABU - he's sick! SAHM's on here are always encouraged to have pyjama days when they're sick and have to get on with it on their own - why is this any different?

He's sick with a cold not dying, I'd be a little surprised too.

You're being a bit OTT.

Your DH wasn't feeling great and your DD had a day at home so did what we've all done...slobbed in front of the telly all day watching rubbish.

It's not an every day occurrence, she won't be scarred for life or get square eyes, she was having a lazy day. Sounds nice actually.

Lighten up!

Butterymuffin

There isn't any other childcare available - its the 5 weeks that everyone takes their summer holidays except for people like me so all childminders and daycares shut down except for the one in the other town. But her coming to work with me every day is just the worst case scenario, probably at least part of the time she'll be going to sleepovers and suchlike. Going to the park alone isn't bad though, there will be other kids playing most likely, or she can go for a bike ride - all things she needs to start doing by herself before school starts. Either that or she stays home and I'll probably be back before she even wakes up!

caffeinestream

Because he's a man.

So obviously he's just a shit lazy parent.

If a mum had made a post about how her DD had been watching cartoons all day because she felt run down MN would say she deserved a break. They wouldn't be calling her a crap mother.