Got called fete lady today (humorous ish)

[sunnydalegottobedone]

Argh I've turned into crazy fete lady. In the last couple of days on numerous occasions - I've been entered into conversations as "you are the fete lady", "you are the fete lady". Would I be unreasonable to start donning a twin set and pearls?

So as not to drip feed, I do run the village fete, I think I am starting to become a fete bore, obsessed with it - can't get me to talk about anything else. To the extent I'm now starting a AIBU post about the flaming fete - HELP.

wandering it would cause a right scandal if a tombola drum wasn't used. I would get letters ...pages long

I still haven't lived down "the wrong Victoria sponge cake receipe" debacle - holds my head in shame

I'm having mental images of Jam and Jerusalem...I want to live there!

As a side note, does anyone else remember Jam and Jerusalem? No one I ask about it has a clue!

French and Saunders vehicle, wasn't it?

Also not very funny.

I loved jam and jerusalem, and yes I signed the petition when they cancelled Home Fires!!! What have I become... I have to hide from the library at this time of year ... No I have no influence over the cake judging.... I am not a judge, and yes there is a recipe this year and yes it is the right one...... & no there won't be a children's fancy dress competition this year ...... Can't face the bloodshed

I'm so glad I'm not alone Op? 😂

Ooh, meant to ask: does anyone else remember "Garden On A Plate" in the flower & produce tent? Loved that.

Mini veg patch/ twig fences/ rows of flat pebble 'paving slab paths'/ sunken, tin foil 'ponds' (though the creative 7 yr old me upped the ante by using my DM's pocket mirror, real water, and added tiny, carrot skin goldfish).

Oh I have just remembered a story in our local paper a few years back.

There was a village fête with various competitions for home made stuff. One of the categories was lemon curd. There was only one entry for that category but the judges gave her second place because they felt that her lemon curd wasn't quite up to the standard one would expect for a first.

I mean, how humiliating

My lemon curd came second to somebody's lemon "churd". I was not amused - it was a class for lemon curd, not lemon cheese or the unholy lovechild churd. I'm just about over it it happened in 2005.

I saw one stall which was all things netball: they had a netball post, and as well as inviting people to try shooting a goal, they had "shoot the shooter": the stallholder would try to score goals, and people could pay £1 to squirt them with a water pistol: prize if you managed to stop them scoring! They also had pin the ball on the net for those who didn't want to try either of the above games.

Zuzu our show still has garden on a plate. It's a small village agricultural type show. I unfortunately appear to have been placed as head steward in the children's section. This is a total nightmare. I think it's because I don't have children they picked me as impartial and able to deal with the quite frankly unbelievable parents. Last year there were tears. We have a vegetable animal section. Ninety percent of the animals were made of fruit........now I'm not turning away a five year old child clutching a smiling banana, but they are probably not going to win. The judge took it very seriously and only gave prizes to the vegetable ones. Mums were furious, kids were crying. I then lost the judgeshe did a sharp exit before the results were revealed.

Next year it will be a fruit and or vegetable section to reduce complaints.....

fourpaws,

Could you sneak in a "Garden On A Plate" entry from a 40something yr old woman, in exchange for me dealing with the PITA overly competitive mothers?

Poetic justice: as payback for grown adults modelling poor fruit and veg-related sportsmanship in front of small kids, we could place the lot of them in stocks and pelt with surplus tomatoes...
(Actually, that might prove a popular fundraiser in itself. Say 50p a go?).

Zuzu I am happy to accept your entry. I am quite sure that very few entries are made by children at all. One woman hissed at me one year but what if I can PROVE the mother did it. Eh, I have no idea, maybe contact the police. (Joke) I mean I'm not watching a video taken by you from outside her kitchen window. I think that's a step to far. ITS A VILLAGE SHOW.
We did try introducing garden on a plate and vege animal for adults but only got one entry.....the under 3 year old category however was fantastic.

fourpaws a video!! I just spat my coffee out - that is priceless. & I though the two page letter re how some of the kids cakes had been made by their parents - with step by step pointers re evidence & pointers on how to prevent it next time .....was bad.... The video wins

Gosh sunny you deserve a medal for organising the entire thing. Watching a section is bad enough for me. Although it does seem to be agreed that the cake section is by far the worst to steward. I think I will stick with my vegetable bananas.

Crikey.

In our shows, too, it's possible to get a second prize even if you're the only entrant if the judge thinks your exhibit is not of first prize calibre. It happened to me once. stifles a sob

We take a different line on vegetable animals, though. They have to be vegetable in the sense of animal/vegetable/mineral and so nobody quibbles at fruit. I think it's tricky as regards parental help. I wouldn't expect a three year old to be cutting up a courgette on their own, so it seems inevitable that very little children will have a degree of help. After all, Damien Hirst's works are made by assistants under his artistic direction, so there's a precedent there!

Was discussing this thread with elderly neighbour, a veteran of many a fête committee.

For anyone in need of ideas, she offers up the following:

-1. "Curate's Egg" stall:
Tray of sand. Upside down egg shells covering a single wrapped sweet. Only the one hides a coin prize.
(Variation: "Limpet shells on a beach". Craft shops sell (or could be persuaded to donate?) huge bags of them).

-2. "Wheel Of Chocolate Bars":
12 or so varieties, empty wrappers pinned round sections of spinning wheel. 1 spin, you win whatever lands next to the marker arrow.
(Apparently always very popular, so make sure local shops/ newsagent etc. donate generously!!).

-3. "Minute To Win It":
Timed attempts at fun games for kids.

e.g.

• the most M&Ms/ Smarties transferred to another bowl, using a straw only.

• as above, but mini-marshmallows by chopsticks only.

• the most empty plastic bottles knocked over by swinging tennis ball in foot of pair of tights, worn on head, hands behind back

(very funny to watch!).

• the most dice stacked on mouth-held lolly stick.

etc. etc.

PS Does everyone else's fête also have That Family, whose every member specialises in one particular category and beats the competition every damn year?
(Or are any brave souls prepared to own up as actually being them?).

You know: Fun Dad merrily laughs in the face of gender stereotyping, and has the Horticultural Society in ecstasy over his "Victorian Posy" entries/ the 6 yr old's artwork is genuinely of Tate Modern standard / the 8 yr old's annual prowess on the coconut shy provokes the sulky teenagers into mutiny/ Grandpa has cornered the market in obscenely-shaped root veg, and woe betide anyone else's longer runner beans/ MIL jealously guards her 19th consecutive win in "Amusing Topical Limerick" category...

Them.

Even their bloody (though admittedly adorable) dog leaves covered in rosettes.

marilyn confession that may often be mine, but purely as I get the wobble that we have won't enough entrants that I persuade the DCs to participate in pretty much everything I do make sure that all Comps are blind entry - but it is still rather embarrassing when the family name is called out again and again - cringes. I'm hoping after last year - it may encourage more to enter! Ps I do not judge at all - just give out the prizes at the end. Still cringe

Seriously loving all the classic ideas for games / wish I'd started this thread months ago / stashes for next years event.

Whatever you do don't start making puns. That would be fatal.

Rhi it's too late, far too late - I even do badly rhyming pun laden poems

OP,

Don't worry, I was being a bit churlish. I'm actually rather admiring of such families!
(And anyone brave crazy? enough to organise an entire fête, deserves the right to encorage any number of relatives they so choose. I take my hat off to you).

My peevishness stems from oversensitive 9 year old me being beaten into 2nd place, in 3 separate art categories, by older sister, middle sister and younger sister of That Family.

Marilyn no offence taken, I just wish more people would enter some of the Comps - they want them & then forget to enter

Currently watching Antiques Roadshow and wondering who I have become I rather enjoy it. I have wine though - needed after a whole day of site planning - howtospendyoursundayscountrystyle!

can't believe no-one's suggested welly wanging yet!

(different size wellies for different ages - toddler welly for under-5s, child's welly for under 12s, adult wellies for others)

Wellie Whanglng has been mentioned & hell ya of course it's in. Love a good Wellie wang - minus the one miscreant child who always insists on ruining onto the throw area / followed my moans of said parent re our obvious lack of fucking lack of health n safety no just control your child!