Got called fete lady today (humorous ish)

[sunnydalegottobedone]

Argh I've turned into crazy fete lady. In the last couple of days on numerous occasions - I've been entered into conversations as "you are the fete lady", "you are the fete lady". Would I be unreasonable to start donning a twin set and pearls?

So as not to drip feed, I do run the village fete, I think I am starting to become a fete bore, obsessed with it - can't get me to talk about anything else. To the extent I'm now starting a AIBU post about the flaming fete - HELP.

One of the many fabulous things about the Lambeth Country Show is that the jousting takes place only yards from the international street food stands, the alternative therapies tent and all the other accoutrements of modern urban life.

Oh I bloody love a good fete, I feel like there should be more of them!
DS loves a go on hook a duck (usually run by the scouts for 20p a go)

Perhaps becoming a fete lady is in my future?

OP who definitely does not secretly idolise Lynda Snell,

Top thread for nostalgia, this. Thanks.

Highlights from childhood village fetes, late 70s/ early 80s (farming community):

1. Best scarecrow competition.
["Youth" category all of a sudden stipulated "age 12 and under only" (polite enquiries as to why an age restriction necessary led to dark mutterings from the local Squire of "Bloody comedian teenagers adding vulgar and inappropriate appendages")].

2. "Country Crafts Corner":
(Somebody clearly a fan of alliteration).

Grumpy bloke making corn dollies (straw work shapes, for the uninitiated!); weaving; local honeycomb samples from beekeeper's hives (always sensible, combining bees with kids and wasps, mid-August).

Wizened and sweet elderly lady "sisters" [99.9% sure a couple, who sadly felt eyebrows would be raised (possibly pitchforks, too, in a couple of cases...LGBT equality didn't figure highly on their radar), were they to declare such.
Demo of wool process from shearing fleece to looms/ spinning wheel (friendly pet sheep the bonus attraction. Especially as it was hyper, having been sneaked homemade fudge for 2hrs. Next door's stall: "Scrumptious Sweets").

3. Pram Race:
(Would've brought health and safety had they even been consultedout in a nervous rash):

10 ancient Silver Cross-type suspension prams.

10 adult pairings, in full fancy dress. 1 in pram, 1 pushing.
(Helmets? Protective padding? Not a chance, losers).

Near-suicide gradient plunge from hilltop pub to mid-village pub to end-of-village pub.
Pram pusher downing half a pint outside each one.

Finishing line conveniently close to fete's beer tent as well.

So, binge drinking in front of minors/ non-roadworthy vehicles/ "first aid" provision probably no more than a roll of Elastoplast...
Happy Days!

Oh, and it's surely still obligatory to have a local kids' dance club or drum majorette troupe do a turn? I used to feel so bad for the 1 less-co-ordinated youngest member, bless her, who always dropped her baton.
And watching strapping men argue about Tug-Of-War over a stream was good value...especially when the local women made a strike for feminism (circa 1982!), and launched a rival team.

Cormorant,

Oh, God, that carved vegetable Patrick Moore and his telescope is the funniest thing. Brilliant.

Quickly googles Lynda Snell ah the Archers.

I need to know what Gothic Morris Dancers are?

Loving the memories, getting loads of ideas for future years. Jousting Gothic Morris Dancers has a certain ring to it

Zuzu yep local craft demonstrations and the local kids dance troop are performing - wouldn't be a fete without them.

Gothic morris dancers

disclaimer: Don't know if any of them are cunts about morris dancing.

The Gothic Morris dancers I've met have been awesome folks. It's the traditionalist that was the Morris dancing cunt (MBE).

Ooh, I love a good village fete, I do. OP, wear your 'fete lady' badge with pride.

Do you have a crockery smash stall? You need one! Perfect for releasing any pent up aggression (especially after a few Pimms).

I was in our local village fete committee.......then some awful shenanigans occurred, due to "the wrong sort of people" on the the team. There was a secret meeting and the fete was cancelled. All sorts of stuff went on, could have written a book. No village fete ever again.....is so sad.

This thread brings up many happy memories of the village fetes of my youth.

Do you have cow pat bingo?

Basically you cordon off a fairly large section of grass. Create a grid and sell squares for 50p a go. Release cow into said enclosure. First square it poops in is the winner!

I always used to play recorder and do country dancing for our fete. There used to be a barn dance after too.

Oh our village fete was a thing of legend.
I didn't watch Live Aid to go to it in 1985.

We used to have a stall where you had a big bath of water. In the bath were 1p coins. You got about 5 old pennies, which were huge and you had to drop them in the bath to cover the new penny. If your old penny completely covered the new penny then you won a prize.
Old pennies might be hard to come by now but I think it would work with 2ps and 1ps.

Hoping that Lambeth Country Show might be willing to add cow pat bingo to the programme

Cow pat bingo - that's is brilliant. I want, so badly. I also now want the crockery smash stand / or maybe that just might be me at end anyway may save me from my rocking corner.

I think I also need to persuade a few yokels to set up a Morris dancing troop. Not really local to here, and I'm not bloody paying to bus a group in fete on a show string budget.

Loving these tales & I now need to know what happened on that fete committee for it to be closed forever. Sounds very Midsummer

Snickers - we do that with 50p pieces to cover a £2 coin.

I'm the unlucky schmuck who spins candy floss at our fete - which is called a Gala. It's jolly if it's dry but really difficult if it's humid. It was pissing it down last year

We're up north so there's also a Rose Queen being crowned and other local village queens graciously visiting. And a brass band. And the local gymnastics lot who do a display. And the U6s football tournament ⚽💞

Stalls are run by local groups including the schools' PTAs, Scouts, WI, Brownies, parish church, tennis club, panto group, etc. They tend to do the same things every year so they won't be in competition (eg PTA1 does bbq, church does tea and cake, Brownies do Hook A Duck) but there's a rumour of mutiny as some things are more profitable than others and It's Not Fair.

We have a theme for the gala. Stallholders are invited to theme their stalls accordingly with decorations, and there's a prize for the best which we've won two years in a row. There's also a scarecrow competition along the theme - last year was animals and someone had a shark emerging from their front lawn like Jaws. Twas ace.

Our committee are all desperately trying to retire and the likely candidates are all studiously not volunteering to take over.

If not morris dancing, then get the kids from the local primary dancing round the maypole.

Is it called 'Aunt Sally'? - Someone's face through a hole in a board with body painted on the front, chuck wet sponges at them. (Had to do that a few times. Ouch. )

I will judge your hoovering competition.

And if you haven't got a hoovering competition then it isn't a fête at all, merely a picnic with stalls.

Ethy please more details, what does a Hoovering competition involve?

Fete fanciers should try the Ashtead Village Day 10th June.

It has brass bands AND dog shows AND Morris dancers AND plant stalls AND cake stalls AND vintage cars and so much else. Oh, and tombolas.

No greased pigs though. Can't have everything.

(Btw I am not the fete lady)

Ooh I forgot that we usually have vintage fire engines. They're fun.

MrsHathaway is a proper fete lady. Vintage fire engines - swoons with jealously. I've got a fire engine and some hot rods - nothing vintage

I just help: I'm carefully avoiding the committee. Ours is a properly good fete though. Because it's on the playing fields there's a proper swing park (tallest slide in the north west) and access to flushing toilets in the village hall. Massive inflatables.

You mentioned archery: that's my favourite stall at ours. They let the DC try on chain mail while they're waiting for their turn.

"Teddy bear bungee jump" sounds a novel money-earner:

(Obviously the kids stay on the ground! Use local contacts to donate hire of their small cherry picker, unless fete site conveniently below a church tower...).

www.nforbes.plus.com/fetefun/attractions/bearbungeejump.htm

Bonus fun fact:
15yr old Paul McCartney first met John Lennon at a village fete!

Spinny thing for a tombola? We just have a nicely decorated box, and a rule that whoever pulls out the ticket is blindfolded to make sure there is no cheating.