Got called fete lady today (humorous ish)

[sunnydalegottobedone]

Argh I've turned into crazy fete lady. In the last couple of days on numerous occasions - I've been entered into conversations as "you are the fete lady", "you are the fete lady". Would I be unreasonable to start donning a twin set and pearls?

So as not to drip feed, I do run the village fete, I think I am starting to become a fete bore, obsessed with it - can't get me to talk about anything else. To the extent I'm now starting a AIBU post about the flaming fete - HELP.

cheese that sounds awesome. Sanity is the only thing. I swear mine goes out the window nearer the date.

Human Fruit Machine is 3 people (usually kids) sitting in booths so they can't see each other but can bee seen from the front. Each has a box of things you'd see on a fruit machine (bananas, cherries, bell etc)
Customer buys a ticket & rings a bell at which all 3 pull something out and hold it up.
3 the same wins.

Splat the Rat needs a rounders bat, length of drainpipe attached to a big MDF board and sock stuffed and given a tail/goggly eyes etc, splat the rat as it comes out of the pipe but before it hits the floor wins.

knotty I am saving this thread - some awesome ideas for next year.

Human fruit machines are great! You have three people with a bucket of different kinds of fruit, each, and one person with a bell.

The bell person holds up their arm like a lever, and the person playing the fruit machine, pushes it down. The bell person makes suitable fruit machine sound effects, then rings the bell, and the three fruit bucket people each hold up a piece of fruit. If they are all the same, the player wins a prize, just like for a normal fruit machine.

We have a charity fete every year on the common near where we live. We always call it the "tatty fair". I think it's the local rotary people that do the human fruit machine.

Lambeth Country Show has jousting, sheep shearing and humorous carved vegetable sculptures - what more could you want.

Sounds like my idea of heaven Cormorant * *

I haven't seen a Splat the Rat in years

I've got an unusual shaped veg section - not quite humorous but worth a giggle. The Lambeth fete sounds awesome. Hail to the Jousting.

I've been seconded to our village fete by the devious route of being secretary on a scout executive roped into manning the BBQ that the group does every year.

I would draw a map of how all the groups in the village are linked via historical agreements and 'who knows who' wink wink but it would look like a spider web on acid.

Have you got a dog show and a beautiful baby competition? We once entered our dog for The Waggiest Tail and he walked around the ring with his tail tucked firmly between his legs.

Ah, I'd love to come to your fete.

mother once seconded that's it - you are now a fete lady.

And yes we do have a dog show

The joys of social media, I spend my Friday night watching to see how the reach of my FB posts are doing. Obsessed

We have a fete man. He is lovely and does a great job. After the summer fete he becomes the Christmas lights man.

Humorous vegetables.

They do it every year but the 2013 year was the one with the best pictures on Google.

Lindy your fete man sounds lovely! I need a Christmas lights man. I'm now pondering a move to the country...

lindy don't - I've already been asked to organise the Christmas tree and lights............runs, hides....... How did this happen. I was a Nirvana kid

rusty move to the country. A high level of bonkers but by heck I wouldn't have it any other way. Love country life.

Jousting is much overrated IMO
When you have seen men with lances charging at each other once then you have pretty much seen all there is. It doesn't get any better.

Do people still do bowling for a pig these days? When I was a child there was an understanding that you were really bowling for a tenner, but my eldest sister almost won a pig and my Dad had to negotiate a compromise.

Mind you the best ever event I have heard of was when my Dad described our village fête in his boyhood (1920's) and one of the most popular competitions was for the local ladies. Catching a greased pig. Basically the woman who managed to bring it down and hold it down got to keep it. I guess this was not only a high stakes game but a great spectator sport too!

I love that you'll end up with the Christmas lights job too. Ours involves a lot of mulled wine (just to keep us warm of course).

I love a bit of bonkers and I have a couple of places in mind but I've got to stay where the work is right now. Until then I plan to live vicariously through you lovely country people.

(Seriously though, if you get jousting I am moving tomorrow! )

5foot5 lovely story about your dad not sure that I'm brave enough to ever tackle a greased pig

My Nana does the fete locally, and wanted to have my Uncles Gothic Morris dancers. An old friend refused to allow that and made his troupe dance.
At my wedding, my uncle was helping to guide my husband through my extended family and introduced this man as 'Barry, MBE and total cunt about Morris dancing'.

Spiders' webs on acid are actually pretty regular www.sciencealert.com/spider-on-drugs

It's the caffeine webs which are like the social and hierarchical networks of fete organisation.

My dad helps organise their local show. This year I've been made redundant so have time on my hands and have been roped into organising the fell race. Same format every year so should be easy, right? No! We have had a committee meeting every week for three weeks so far and the bloody thing isn't until August.

Those spiders webs are amazing!!