Go to fucking sleep you little shit!

[Killdora]

Tell me I'm not the only one who mentally chants this to themesleves sometimes.

Dd is four and has autism. I know it's not her fault and I know it her sensory difficulties etc. but she's only ever slept the grand total of four hours a night.

In bits, not one go.

Me and Dh have had to take shifts for the last three years. The consultant has already tried her on melanin etc, but it didn't work.

I know I didn't need to go into that level of detail but wanted to explain my situation because I feel terribly guilty.

I've never openly lost my temper with dd, and would never say some of the stuff I scream in my head but it can be so vicious it makes me feel like the worst Mum in the world.

Tonight I'm hot, tired. Dd is on her fifty billionth rendition of 'Too cold Mum. Too hot Mum.' and I am calling her all the names under the sun internally.

I just want to go downstairs for once, with Dh (his shift starts at 11)

@Anatidae my DS1 was exactly the same, I don't think people really believe me. But once he hit 6 he started regularly sleeping from 8:30pm-5:30am so they're is light at the end of the tunnel.
He's now 7 but his 5yo brother is a multiple night waker including terrors and sleepwalking/acting/climbing.
10 month old dd is rarely asleep before 10:30pm and often up and down in the night and I'm 17 weeks pregnant with what will probably be another non sleeper.
I find "helpful advice" the worst. I haven't slept for more than 2 hours straight in 7 and a half years, I know if I've had more than my average 40 minutes because I wake up feeling like I've been run over.
People who normally get a full nights straight sleep just can't understand because you can't know what long term sleep deprivation is like until you've experienced it.
Good luck to everyone and sorry you're suffering

Oh and I'm pretty sure I actually told Ds2 to "wazz off" at stupid o'clock clock in the morning when I'd just got baby back to sleep and he came in wanting to know where some sellotape was

You are not alone, and you are definitely not a bad mum!

My dd14 (possibly asd just waiting for final diagnosis from psychiatrist) doesn't sleep very well - she paces over and over and over across the floor and you can hear it in the living room. This often goes on until 1-2 in the morning although then does fall asleep until the morning. My toddler also doesn't sleep very well. Won't nap without a fight. No nap results in falling asleep about 5.30/6.00 which then results in waking about 11 and being awake until 3. If she does nap then she wakes but only for half an hour or so or a couple of shorter wakes during the night. I am fucking exhausted and my health shows it (as does the language in my head). I really do feel your pain

Just wanted to shower everyone on here with 💐 and 🍫 and you are all bloody 🌟🌟🌟

What you say in your head doesn't count!

My colleagues son has an ASC, is close to nonverbal, used to self harm at any routine change and slept about the ame as your Dd. He's now a typical lazy teen in that he would sleep to midday if he could. I don't know when his sleep improved, other than that it was after he started school.

Thanks everyone.

Feel guilty again this morning (running theme) Dh saw I was struggling so didn't wake me for my turn. He went all the way through bless him.

Feel absolutely wonderful for the sleep though to everyone who had a rough night.

My DD (ASD) slept through from 5.5/6 ish. Before then it would two hours to settle her (she'd only sleep whilst holding my face) and she always woke between 1-2am for a couple of hours of play and then up again around 5.30. It broke me and nearly ruined my marriage. I couldn't even tell you what went on in my head because I've tried to block out most of those years. Some days I had to get the bus or a taxi as I knew I couldn't drive I was that tired. It was horrendous. These days I have to wake her up to go to school - it gets better.

Your dh is a legend! Glad you're feeling great for the sleep, makes the world so much nicer.

I got to ds being 12 before I played him: 'Go the Fuck to Sleep'.
Being asd, he was scandalised by the swearing (breaking rules).
Dd doesnt sleep either. She is 10. 'Get back in to bed, darling, you have no chance of sleeping if you are not in bed'. And, repeat...

I got given Melatonin by the sleep clinic recently. For me.
GP has refused it for kids for years.

My ds has chloral hydrate. Made a huge difference to us all. It's not perfect but much much better. Our paediatrician prescribed it. I love him

I think you need to go back to your consultant in and NHS press for trialing different medication options until you find one that does work.
And sympathies... you sound much calmer than I would be

Fanjo he used to say it every time somebody opened or closed a door which made it interesting in school I was told daily that he'd said a naughty word by his classmates and I'm sure his teacher was told numerous times as well and it caused a giggle when he said it three or four times in parents' assembly
What was worse though was that even when he knew he had to stay in his room he'd open the door, go "the bloody door is shut etc" shut the door and do it repeatedly. I'm actually surprised me and him made it to him being 22 tbh.

Wow, you've done amazingly not to lose your temper. I lose my shit regularly. I don't swear at them but after lying next to one of them for 1 hour and them still not asleep I've been known to flip my wig and shout.

Well gearing up for round two or is it the seventy-fourth millionth round

This thread has been very helpful

Oops posted too soon!

I'm going to have that boom and Michael McIntyre's sketch at least to alternate in with the swearing tonight.

Oh yes the stripping was another one of his specialities it would take 45 minutes to get his clothes on and he'd have them off the minute your back was turned. He only stopped stripping age ten because little dd was mobile and used to run after him to give his willy a tug.

Good luck! Agree with those saying to go back and politely dig your heels in to get different medication/treatment. Ds isn't on the spectrum but I suspect he has some mild sensory processing issues like me.

I also have sleep issues - or at least I did before my son deprived me of sleep to the degree I would fall asleep mid sentence. It's worth getting a thorough physical to make sure there are no issues like sleep apnoea etc which are making things worse.
Melatonin needs tweaking, dosewise - the amounts produced by the body are tiny and often kids are given a much higher dose than they need. Or maybe trial sedative antihistamines or something stronger. Be polite but pushy, there may be no magic bullets but there may be something that helps say 20% and that may be enough to make a big difference to you.

Respite care day in my household and ofc it's too bloody warm to sleep

Yes yes yes. Daughter 10 has Autism, and will not settle, sometimes falling asleep at 12. No TV or consoles in her room. In and out of her room. Constantly looking things late at night and having meltdowns over it, when I just want to turn in.

Oh I feel your pain. 6yo nt dts but sometimes FOTB is all that I can summon the energy for.

Yep, 2 with ASD and Go the Fuck t Sleep is often chanted here - often by DS1 who has reached that teenage sleep when he needs to get to sleep earlier and for longer than when he was 3 - then gets woken up at 5am (or earlier) by DS2 leaping out of bed and turning all the lights on!

He's taken to sleeping on the sofa, most nights. We are working on being able to sell this house and buy one where they can have non-adjacent bedrooms.