Go to fucking sleep you little shit!

[Killdora]

Tell me I'm not the only one who mentally chants this to themesleves sometimes.

Dd is four and has autism. I know it's not her fault and I know it her sensory difficulties etc. but she's only ever slept the grand total of four hours a night.

In bits, not one go.

Me and Dh have had to take shifts for the last three years. The consultant has already tried her on melanin etc, but it didn't work.

I know I didn't need to go into that level of detail but wanted to explain my situation because I feel terribly guilty.

I've never openly lost my temper with dd, and would never say some of the stuff I scream in my head but it can be so vicious it makes me feel like the worst Mum in the world.

Tonight I'm hot, tired. Dd is on her fifty billionth rendition of 'Too cold Mum. Too hot Mum.' and I am calling her all the names under the sun internally.

I just want to go downstairs for once, with Dh (his shift starts at 11)

Chocolate is well and truly on it's way to demolition

I know the freedom is short lived (and carries a stupid guilt too) but it feels so good.

and knackered hugs all round.

Am currently next to DD intoning same thing (in head).

Little shit.

OMG. I just don't know how you cope. I really don't. I admire you. Sleep deprivation is just HORRENDOUS.

Sleep is an issue in my home... I tried "The Rabbit who wants to Fall Asleep" CD - very odd story by a hypnotist - with a bit of success but now have the much better "Elephant who wants to Fall Asleep" CD, same author but far better translation and story.

Elephant story

It seems to help with DS 3.5 yo.

I will be thinking of you repeatedly when I wake up tonight

Raises hand...18 month sleep regression meets toddler rage meets heatwave hell here...
Dh is currently on shift while I sit in the garden drinking wine for half an hour...praying to the sleep gods for everyone on this thread!

The sleep gods deserted me about five minutes ago.

It was just enough of a reprieve to calm down though, and Dh 'shift' is at 11.

Thank you, it definitely is like a form of torture!

I think I'll nick that mantra above,

'Go to fucking sleep. This won't last forever. Go to fucking sleep. This won't last forever.'

Just got 9mo ds to sleep. He wakes every hour. And only naps in the sling or if held. Or in a moving car... Wakes if the car stops. Dd1 was worse - woke every 45 mins until about 1 yo then every 2 hours until she was nearly 4 - by which time I had dd2 who thankfully only woke every 2 hours....
But I'm so so tired. I was really mean to both DDS tonight and I feel awful. I was shouty and mean. They just kept pissing around and waking ds and then dd2 spilled her water into a socket and tripped the electrics and I just flipped :( and then DS would not go back to sleep, and both DDS were crying and it was ALL MY FAULT.

Not alone - DD 16 months f i n a l l y fell asleep at 22:40!! Wee ratbag

Two things from the parent of an older ASC dc :)
How much melatonin was she on? I have heard that for some children 3mg is too much and less is more. Dd reacts perfectly to 3mg. Thank fuck.
Have you got anything like propanalol for when the stress starts rising? It's quite calming :)

6yo DS finally dropped off about half an hour ago - FFS.
Hoping for a dx over the summer, then hopefully we'll be able to try melatonin, which apparently can only be prescribed by the community paed.
We don't have it too bad, he usually sleeps through now, its just that he doesn't fall asleep til 10/11/12. Earliest he's done this year was a 9:30pm a couple of times.

I say that in my head about my 1 year old

My 7 year old just drifting off...

my 4 year old is not autistic, but bedtime can tske hours, and so far he's slept through the night (well, 9 pm to 5am) 9 times in his life.... completely understand you!

I have a friend, lovely lady but a little bit 'holier than thou' about parenting. She loves to tell you about the 'best' way to do things (even though I have more children than she does and are older than hers), very vocal about her limitless patience and the beauty that is raising children.

Imagine my delight when at hers for dinner one night, her baby woke up and I heard 'time to shut the fuck up' muttered over the baby monitor

DS wide awake and running at 4.30am.

SIL 'complaining' on FB that her 9 month old is lazy, sleeps 8-8 and has to be woken up.

I avoid her.

Hope you got a good rest, op. I feel your pain. Mine is 5 and has autism too. He usually goes to sleep well, but wakes up ridiculously early. The sleep deprivation is the worst. Replacing sleep with food has almost become the norm here! We have done shifts too, I know what it's like sitting there willing the clock to go faster! I am totally chilled on the outside, never any problems accepting the diagnosis, his autism is something we celebrate openly, but there are plenty times I am bloody glad he can't read my thoughts too. This too will pass has become our family motto. Are there any groups for families with additional needs near you? Or parent support groups? I'm taking mine to a families with additional needs group today. It helps to be around other families like mine! He loves being around other kids with autism too, even if they very rarely speak to each other!

Have you ever been prescribed melatonin? My autistic brother was and it made a huge difference to his sleep. Might be worth a visit to the GP?

I know exactly how you feel as ds with autism was just the same. He used to sleep 10pm to midnight and then 6am to 8am. No medications ever made any difference and at 22 now he generally sleeps at 4am until 8am although sometimes he doesn't bother.
It got better once I stopped trying to make him sleep and instead concentrated on getting him to stay in his room and play quietly. You can ask OT about a safespace which would help enormously. Unfortunately I didn't know about those and one of ds's first echolalic sentences was "the bloody door is shut, it isn't time to get up"
I have awful insomnia now as well purely because I spent years being unable to sleep and even now although ds is fine in his room I keep a listening ear and his compulsion to run the landing disturbs me regularly.

I used to lie next to my daughter on her bed because she wouldn't let me leave the room until she was asleep, I used to wake up freezing cold at 2am cos I always fell asleep before her. I called mine piftas for years before they asked what it meant.