to have refused to hang the washing out

[MelaniaMacron]

Three kids, the youngest of whom is 12 weeks old. DH does quite a lot of the housework, but is also out with his hobby and his friends a lot. Basically, the only "hand-free" time I get to complete "my" jobs (as in, those he doesn't notice or acknowledge as necessary - decluttering, household admin, sorting out kids toys, clothes etc) are the twice-weekly 90 minute periods that he'll hold the baby. This afternoon, he has taken her out in the pram before a meet-up with his friends at 5 this evening. As he left with her, he called to me asking for me to peg out the laundry. WIBU to tell him that no, I have a list of a zillion other jobs which I have saved until this afternoon?

To be honest you are cutting your nose off to spite your face. It's such good drying weather, that the sooner the washing is out the better. Does it really matter in the great scheme of things who hangs it out on the line?

Why is he only helping out with his own child twice a week?

I dont know if yabu about your zillion other things but i would have put the washing out tbh but i think you are pissed off at your husband so being stubborn which is fair enough

YWBU not to hang the washing out (though if he knew it needed doing why didn't he do it?!).

YWNBU to expect him to spend more than 3 hours a week parenting!

why be awkward just put the washing out it will be dry in a hour or two

I'm jealous. My machine is broken at the moment & some people are wasting good drying time.

But absolutely YANBU to be annoyed by your DH trying to dictate what you do & when.

Just peg it out it'll be dry in half an hour. YANBU to take him to task about the lack of parenting.

Why is he only helping out with his own child twice a week?

Yes, this.

Your problem isn't the washing, the problem is your DH and his lack of parenting

I'm not making it a point of principle not to hang the washing out. It's just that I need to get DD2's child benefit application sent off, find DD1's favourite hair clip and make and deliver a present for a friend in hospital. It's just that I couldn't easily do any of those jobs with three kids attached. Laundry is easy with them around.

Why is he only helping out with his own child twice a week?

This ^^ for the third time of asking.

Those can wait until after the washing is out. I'd also stop doing his laundry until he gets his head out of his arse and actually starts pulling his weight around the house. He can drop his activities & do some of the housework.

Why is he only helping out with his own child twice a week?

He isn't "only helping out with his own child twice a week". You can't "help out" with your own child.

He's failing to parent his child. That's what he's doing.

You could have had it hung out in the same time as posting this thread.

YABU

Don't nitpick semantics. @ITooHaveBeenThere.
I used those words as I don't know how much he does with the other kids during the week and 12 week old babies don't need "parenting" in the same way as toddlers and older children. He may be nappy changing and feeding all the time for all I know. Just not actually taking over more than twice a week. He needs to step up OP. "Help" more.

So the zillion other jobs turn out to be finding a hair clip, filling in a form, making a present for a friend and visiting said friend in hospital?Whilst contributing to MN?

Just tell your husband that you would like some time baby free for yourself. Communication is the key here!

YWBU. If the weather is as gorgeous there as it is here, you'd be daft not to hang stuff out while it lasts. Things like sending off CB application can be done anytime - in an evening for example. Personally I can't get my head round any family doing their washing separately anyway. It's nuts. However, as long as all adults are pulling their weight, then it seems ridiculous and petty to refuse to do something it would be sensible to do now (like hanging out washing) to do a job that can be done any time.
Without all the other facts on who does what, what hours people work, what commutes people have, how old the other dc are, etc.,etc., we have no idea if the 'balance' of what people do in your house is right or not, but on the question you've asked us, yes, YABU.

He does breakfast and the washing up every day and he does some home education activities and puts the older two to bed several times a week, so it's not as though he does nothing. I guess I'm just wondering whether I am expecting too much by needing time without any of them. I can do MN with a baby attached. I had been trying for weeks to get the CB application done for weeks

YADNBU to decide how to organise your time yourself.

And yes, you need childfree time for your sanity.

I think it would really depend on whether you want he washing dried on a nice day. Wouldn't it take only a few minutes? Shame he couldn't have done it before he went out with the baby though!

If that's my only kid free time I wouldn't be spending it hanging out washing either. I would be sitting on my bum with a cup of tea.

You should get same child free time as he does. Start going out too and leaving him in charge.
This will get worse as DCs start different pastimes.

" I guess I'm just wondering whether I am expecting too much by needing time without any of them."

Why are the children home educated? I have to admit that DD didn't just go to school for her benefit, but also for mine.

I'm not sure if yabu or not but I bloody hate it when my DH tells me to do something. Would you have hung it out anyway did he hadn't mentioned it?

Well i think that if you feel this is an issue then it is, but probably the issue isn't the hanging out of the washing.