bruffian
If you have told him what you have written in your opening post, and he has said nothing, it's very unlikely to be because he doesn't care.
Apart from anything else it would be counter-productive because he's not getting the sex he wants. And both you and he are miserable.
Sometimes, men just don't know what to do. They don't have a framework.
So I'm going take my feminist hat off, and put on my 'let's deal with the situation you've got' hat.
You do you need to point out to him that he is not entitled to you. You do need to point out to him that, despite the recent sex dearth, he does not generally have a sexually sterile marriage.
And then, spell it out. Be confident in your own mind what you want to happen. If this involves no sex at all, you've got a problem.
However, if this involves a compromise of some description, you need to tell him exactly what that is and how he should go about it. If he lacks the tools to think of this himself, just try giving them to him.
Tell him how it makes you feel. But phrase it so he doesn't get defensive. So instead of saying you make me feel like shit, say when you do this I feel like shit. It's a subtle difference, but sometimes it's enough to stop the barriers coming up.
You acknowledging that your rejection of him can be upsetting for him will go a long way. This isn't about winning the argument, this is about going forwards. So it is a useful thing to do.
And with my feminist hat back on, men are idiots and we shouldn't have to do this.