Aibu to think it's not possible for my dh to have crushed me...

[humiliatinginjury]

My dh and I were together last night and I felt like I got um crushed under him . I couldn't breather had pain in my ribs and tummy.
I was ok after a few minutes but felt faint and shaky for a while. I thought I might be a panic attack of some kind.

This morning my ribs and tummy are still hurting and the worrier side of me is saying that I have some kind of "sex crush" injury.

The rational part of me says dear god woman your fine you can't be crushed having sex.

Aibu to think that the pain must be a coincidence ?- you can't actually get crush injuries from just having sex bearing in mind my husband isn't massive.

For obvious reasons I don't really want to discuss this with people in real life especially dh!

What kind of guy thinks it's OK to fuck a woman while she is having a panic attack?

I don't get it I'm afraid.

What kind of guy thinks it's OK to fuck a woman while she is having a panic attack?

A horrendous abusive arsehole, if he realised she was having one. OP gives no indication that he realised she was in discomfort until she said so! Everyone's different but most of my panic attacks involve me going silent and breathing quickly, not easily detectable to other people and certainly not all that obvious during sex.

I am also concerned for OP because she seems so hesitant to speak up for herself, but all of this 'your DH did WHAT?' abuse-detection type stuff isn't always helpful. I had lots of secretly-unwanted sex when my anxiety disorder was at its worst because I felt unable to speak up, despite most of my partners being lovely kind people. I've lain there crying silently while my partner was none the wiser. It happens. So yes, OP might be married to an appalling man, or she might have anxiety problems, or something else - the point is we don't know!

But a couple intimate enough to have sex need to communicate this.

If a women is prone to having a panic attack during sex then there needs to be signals, a word, a certain touch, to let the other know to stop.
If you are close enough to have sex you are close enough to work this out.

I absolutely agree, there needs to be better communication, but you seem to be putting that on him on the basis that he must know when she's feeling panicky just because they're having sex. Intimacy doesn't equal psychic powers. It is possible for nasty anxiety symptoms not to be very visible to other people.

My dh wouldn't know . I wasn't being forced to keep having sex. I get panic attacks and anxiety and depression issues all the time. Every day . It's not because we were having sex - I get them washing dishes, on the train, watching tv etc as well. It's just how I am.

I don't talk much with my husband or anyone about it. My whole childhood was totally ruled by my mothers depression, it was all anyone ever heard about . My dad was constantly having to deal with her and care for her. I don't tell people in reAl life because of that - I want to be just ok and just normal. I don't want my husband to constantly be wondering if I'm ok- I don't want my children to be wondering what mood I'm in.

I did ignore the pain because I thought it was anxiety and I've just got used to ignoring that over the years. And ignoring all the pain that comes with anxiety and depression.
I think I'm ok - it did hurt to breathe Yesterday today it's not so bad.

I sorry that I can't be clearer about the situation it's just not something I am used to talking about and I don't know what to say.

I was just worried this morning that I had hurt myself and I would end up having to explain to a doctor - that would be even worse!

Unmumsnetty (unribsqueezy) hugs to you, OP. I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Have you ever had any therapy? I so understand wanting to just get on with things and not have everyone walking on eggshells around you - but it's not either/or, you can look for help if you want some while still keeping it a manageable part of everyday existence. You're not your mum and you're not going to drown everyone in your problems.

OP have you ever consider counselling or CBT?

Sometimes having someone impartial to talk to talk to can help. Not necessarily about the sex thing but about your mam and the anxiety and depression.

That's ok, injury, don't apologise. I hope we haven't scared you off with all our worrying!

Only you know the pattern of your anxiety, and the nature of your relationship. These things can be hard to explain. It does sound as though you need a bit of support though. I had a mum a bit like yours, and I find it very hard to express my needs.

I think most people have experienced some discomfort during sex and just got on with it. Unless you're young and lithe it's probably gonna happen at some point. Don't know why some people are acting like that's such a big deal in itself

Of course it's possible you hurt yourself OP. Always take care of yourself! Tell your partner if you are sore or something hurts. Go to the doctor if you are concerned as well!

You get nothing fixed by doing nothing about it.

Innu- I'll be ok I feel a lot less sore now. I have been thinking of going to the doctor about feeling down but I haven't decided yet. I haven't been there for a while.

If it's difficult to say out loud, you can write down how you feel, take it to an appointment and give it to your doctor to read. I've done that before with bullet points and everything, they didn't bat an eyelid and it worked well.

totally understand OP, hope you feel better soon or get to the docs. It's also worth remembering you don't have to suffer

If DH put his full weight on me for anything longer than a second, I would feel crushed and unable to breathe.

Hopefully, as more people post on this thread, they can do so kindly and sensitively, rather than with the accusing and incredulous tone some posters have used upthread.

Injury - it sounds like there is a bit more to this than just this one off incident. Especially as you say your DH can be a bit selfish when it comes to sex, and that you feel wary of bringing it up.

Your GP will be able to help, there is different options available. Personally I found AD's made me feel better tenfold, I didn't realise how much they were helping till I developed HG and couldn't keep them down.

Like a PP has said if your not comfortable talking about it you can always write it down

Google Burking. It's a form of murder by suffocation. You'll see how serious this situation can be.

I'm not saying that your DH in anyway intended to hurt you btw