AIBU disabled parking and toilets

[sashh]

OK this is not exactly ATAT but, I have a disability and a blue badge. I just wondered how many other people have been given excuses by apparently (yes I know there are hidden disabilities, but people with genuine need tend not to mumble excuses) able bodies people using the blue badge spaces and the accessible toilet.

I've waited outside a toilet because someone was getting changed to go out after work(twice, different places.)

Been stopped from going in to the accessible toilet by a woman with a toddler and a very loud, "Excuse me..." looks at toddler, then notices my walking stick and says, "Oh go on".

Had someone rattle the handle to the extend I was scared to open the door because I thought I would break my wrist while the handle was rattled because their child needed to change.

Not be able to pay my rent because the only accessible bays near the bank were all taken by Xmas shoppers with no blue badges and my housing benefit was paid by cheque so I couldn't get the money i to my account before my rent went out.

Not able to shop if it's raining because then all the blue badge spaces are taken by cars without badges.

I'll probably remember a few more.

Using disabled parking is never OK if you don't need it. Some disabled/accessible toilets are labeled as baby change also. Therefore not a problem if you have a baby that needs changing.

However, using a disabled loo because you want more space or you think your reasons are special enough, is utterly selfish. People with disabilities (whether they are obvious or not) cannot use the standard facilities. The rest of us have a choice. Many have other medical needs which means they need to go urgently. Wetting or soiling yourself in public is humiliating enough without the added frustration of knowing it happened because some idiot thought their pram was too precious, not because a fellow person with disabilities was using that facility.

People need to learn to plan ahead. Find out what facilties are available to you where you are going. Are they suitable? If not, don't go. Just like every person with a disability or a family member with a disability has to do. Every. Damn. Day.

No excuse for BB parking misuse at all.

General toilets are not designed adequately for people with children. The cubicles are not big enough. There needs to be more room for a pram, or some toddlers. Ideally one of those folding seats on the wall so you can pop your child in while you go. Where did they go? They were brill.

So we need more toilets which suit more people.

More generally accessible loos would help both disabled, and young families.

Less abled should queue is the most disabilist post i have ever read on here , I am disabled and if i queued like everybody else there could be a puddle on the floor but yeah the less abled should just wait till somebody gets changed, Opyab a bit unreasonable about toilets because most toilets are babychange areas blue badge space users are just selfish though.

I once had a lady with a walking frame rattle the door of an accessible toilet, I told her we would be as quick as we could, and she shouted, through the door,''that's not a baby change...i saw you go in! I'll report you to the desk" she was right there was no baby change, but I had to change ds (who was 6 at the time) on the floor of the disabled toilet. When we came out she still didn't stop shouting! Poor ds was beside himself.

I think that most of the tuts and 'pointing to the dashboard' (which seems to be the universal language of 'its a blue badge space') have been like the above scenario, where someone doesn't seem to think a child can be disabled!

And so the self centred behaviour continues. This thread will go the same way as the last one with lots of people trying to justify why they are entitled" to use it with no consideration for the distress their behaviour can cause for those with genuine need

The difference is easy.

Blue badge spaces are for people with blue badges. Nobody else. It would be helpful if there also spaces earmarked for people who might need a space temporarily eg if you have broken your leg. But they'd be abused massively so probably best that there are not.

Accessible toilets are accessible and often double up as baby changes. They are not just for people who qualify for a blue badge/have a registered disability (is that even still a thing?). You should not use them just because you don't want to queue, but I wouldn't condemn someone for using it because they were about to flood all over the place during their period for example.

Door rattiling is really unnerving i hate it, nobody would do it in a public cubicle you see the red door lock sign and you accept door lock, why folk insist on door rattiling at a disabled toilet is beyond me.

TBH I don't care. There are bigger things to worry about.

My DH has a blue badge and the very first thing we did when we used it the day it arrived was to agree not to be that person constantly checking other people's windows for a blue badge. I don't need unnecessary stress.

Parking spaces designated for disabled drivers or disabled passengers - only for those with someone who has a blue badge, is in the car, and will be getting out.

Accessible toilets without a baby change unit: only for those with a disability which means they need more space, assistance from a carer, rapid access to a toilet, or hand washing and a bin directly available.

Accessible toilets where a baby change unit has been sited: only for those with a disability as above, plus those needing to change a babies nappy. Nappy changers should give way to those with disabilities.

No one else, despite protests of pushchairs, waiting toddlers or anything else.

Fanjo I will look up the previous thread because I am genuinely interested in what other people do. I've hopped about from foot to foot before nipping into the accessible toilet - I don't regularly use it unless I really can't wait. I get that people with disabilities have a higher need for these toilets but soapbox (apt name) it isn't my pushchair that's precious, it's the 4 month old child inside it. If you think I'm going to risk leaving her outside my cubicle in a busy toilet while I pee - well I'm not. In a toilet where there is nobody else and I can hear a pin drop? Fine, I'll leave her outside or even leave the door open (). But if there's even the tiniest risk that someone could dash off with her - sorry but I'm using the accessible loo.

alltalk take your baby out of the buggy. It's not hard. I've been to the loo holding my baby, with them on the floor in the car seat, in a sling. Stop trying to make out being a mum is the same as being disabled. Go to places with family toilets, plan ahead, make shorter trips.

I don't get this 'really can't wait' nonsense.

Able bodied people can wait. You are not going to piss or shit yourself or have your bag spring a leak so you are drenching your clothes in shit.

soapbox that genuinely had not occurred to me and I will try that next time. (I don't take her around in her car seat as she can't be in it longer than half an hour, but now she is bigger I could hold her on my lap while I go.) Don't put words in my mouth though please. I am not suggesting being a mum is the same as being disabled. That's offensive.

'No reason why less abled should get immediate access.' Perhaps because many of them need immediate access because of their condition? They may not be able to control their bladder or bowels or be unable to physically stand and wait.

Skelt have you had a baby? Sometimes you actually can't wait as your pelvic floor is weakened, so peeing yourself is a very real possibility. Been there, done it.

Oh I don't know abut that, St. I don't have a disability, but I have suffered double incontinence as a result of damage from childbirth. I think there are quite a lot of people who struggle with continence!

I took my dds in with me to a regular toilet cubicle.

do we really need this thread AGAIN
another one that will be filled with parents saying they use them for the space, and no doubt same old disablism.

alltalk It's good that you will try something new to solve the problem. I'm afraid while you don't say it directly, implying that your needs are the same as a disabled person, and therefore justified in using facilities primarily for them, adds up to pretty much the same thing.

I think birth injury and subsequent incontinence is not a case of 'can't wait' it's an actual physical need/issue if you can't queue. My pelvic floor was a thing of glory after my last birth. If you are at risk of pissing/shitting yourself, that's a need for a disability loo especially if you need to clean up.

If that had been in the post, I would not have responded as I did.

A pram is not a disability though.

Being doubley incontinent is a health condition would justify using a disabled toilet we the disabled are not 1 group that you need a membership for having toileting issue is very distressing use the bloody toilet