AIBU to think I have royally messed up my childcare...

[GaryWilmotsWedding]

Urgh. So, my eldest child starts preschool in Sep and will need after school care when I go back to work after mat leave. My youngest will also need care in the day. I discussed a nanny share with a friend but for various reasons it won't work and neither does a nanny just for us. A childminder got in touch and at the time I thought we had our care sorted so I passed her on to my friend and it looks like she'll go for it. Now our arrangements have not worked out and I am really stuck! My friend says I have first refusal etc etc, but if I take the places her eldest will have to forgoe the place at the lovely preschool as they need wrap around care. I don't feel I can take them back but I am so stressed and upset about the fact I now have no care for either child and at best will have to split their care. WWYD if the friend offers the places to me again?

talk to child minder explain situation and ask if she knows someone else who may have vacancies. There is sure to be a simple solution... you're doing this with plenty of time to spare.

don't panic

Thanks lists but I have already asked her and every childminder in the vicinity! I swing from being pleased I've helped her (as she is lovely and much more stretched in terms of what she needs) to being so incredibly annoyed with myself!

Your friend gets first choice imo. You passed on the place and it would be so unfair to take it now

Yep, I know you're right allthewaves. Just so cross with myself!

Why did you think you had the care sorted at the time? I think your friend has first dibs on the spot and the childminder would see it that way too. I'd be quite annoyed if someone told me that a childminder contacted them but they didn't need the care and they knew I needed a spot then turned around months later and asked me not to take it up. Does your school provide after hours care?

I'm not really considering saying I need the spaces...guess I'm just cross I know I can't and wanted to see what others would do! She is a good friend and I know there is no going back. I thought I had some care sorted that has proved unaffordable, partly because my financial situation has changed a bit. I would however have sorted something sooner (a childminder etc) had I known the nanny share wasn't going to work (she only told me it wouldn't work for them financially last week).

It is only May. If I have read this correctly, you don't need the space until September. Things will change. Any parent using a cm who is contracted to give 6 weeks notice & who doesn't want a space in September won't have given notice yet.
Also, people's situations change. I asked my cm at Feb half term if she could do an extra day a week from Easter. She said no as she was full on the day I needed. Then the mother of one of the other families got madame redundant and I now have the slot I wanted.

Correct wrinkles and thank you, I really hope you're right. Thanks for the reassurance!

Put your children's name down with every single nursery and childminding service in the local area. Where I live there would already be a waiting list for September so the more places to be aware of your needs the better. Somd nurseries do school pick up with a minibus so you still may get them placed together, which would obviously be more convenient.

Childminders get new spaces all the time. A lot can change at short notice. Keep yourself on a number of cm lists & you will definitely get a space in a couple of months!!