Bath bombs for a 6yo boy? Long rambling step families post here!

[Catbabymummy]

So, my dss's dm rings up my dh last night about picking dss up tonight. First makes a dig at the fact we were late for his birthday party (which we weren't, we just made it by the skin of our teeth after getting stuck in an enormous traffic jam caused by 4 way temporary traffic lights) and then goes about the fact that he is now into bath bombs. You know, the flowery smelling ones. Dh starts laughing down the phone at her saying "shall i get ribbons for his hair?", even his Godmother was laughing and saying that they are girly. My response was, she's gone bonkers again. Does she not realise that bicarb (the stuff that makes them fizz) could aggravate his eczema as it has a drying affect on the skin?
It drives me mad that everytime she does this she gives dh these commands to him that he MUST do this and he MUSt do that, and she tries to get him to give her a minute by minute itenery? We have dss every fortnight and generally we let him do what he wants (within reason!) and as long as he is having a good time, we shouldn't have to justify to his mum what we do with him.
So I guess there is two questions here?

1. AWBU to not buy him a bath bomb (though if anyone can recommend boyish ones then please do.
2. AIBU to get p*ssed off when dss's mum gives the impression that dh and I are incapable of looking after her precious child ? Before ANYONE jumps on the evil stepmother wagon, as dh split with dss's mum before he was born, and DH and I have been together since DSS was nearly 2 months old (he was about 4 months when I met him for the first time) I have always been a part of his life and I love him like he is my own. It's just that his mum is a controlling b!tch - even his Godmother, incidently his mum's best friend agrees with that!

My six year old son loves bath bombs, you can get some lovely hand made ones from a shop in windsor, will try to find you a link.
Dss mum sounds like a nightmare tbh though.

I think you and dh and godmother are all being v unreasonable about the supposed girly-ness of bath bombs and have no business ridiculing him over it. He's 6. they fizz. they are fun! Why deride children over choices based on it being 'girly' or 'boyish'? What onm earth is all that about?

But I do understand your concern about the possible effect on his excema.

It sounds as if his other does like to keep close tabs....but honestly, I would relax about small stuff like bath bombs.

"boyish" bath bombs? What do you want, camouflage ones? Or ones with little dissolving footballs in them? Or how about a black one with a skull and cross-bones?

What a bizarre attitude! I sympathise about the relationship with your dss' mother, it sounds very difficult. But with respect I think you should get a grip regarding the gender stereotyping.

My ds (7) loves bath bombs too. Children don't bother what they smell like - it's the fizz they like! (although understand the issue re eczema)

Get him a bath bomb if that is what he wants as long as it really doesnt affect his skin. If it does affect his skin then explain this to him, he may well change his mind.

I think it is probably the fizzing of the bomb he enjoyes rather than the smell and stuff. Is there something on the market similar made for kids try googling.

Try not to let her interference get in the way of the childs enjoyment but remember that it is she that knows him better and therefore advise you on his likes and dislikes.

The problem here is how she delivers the advice, the silly cow!

I am a SM btw and have had similar experience. Ensure you both dont rise to the bait and she will soon get bored of trying to control her son while he is with you.

better bath bombs than nuclear bombs, for little boys, imo.

tbh I'm now more determned than ever to make my relationship with DP work at all costs because the minefield of negotiating the possibility that i would have to send DS off to stay with people who ridiculed him for a love of bath bombs would freak me out! Not meaning to be nasty to you, cbm, but it must be an ongoing issue for the mother that her baby spends so much time with someone that she hasn't choen to be in his family, iyswim. it does sound hard, and i do sympathise with the difficulties...and anyway it is his dad leading the laughing at the bath bombs.

You can buy science kits for making your own bath bombs -I think Amazon do them amongst other places

I got some lovely little fruity cubes in a swap from Captaindippy once. DS loves them because they colour the water and fizz. I understand that you're worried they'll aggravate his skin. If it's in a deep enough bath it should be okay.

You can also buy kits to make them, that way, you can control the amount of perfume and he can make whatever colour he wants.

I do feel sorry for little boys, being ridiculed and laughed at so early in their development.

It's horrible that adults feel the need to "toughen them up" so early on.

You could check Lush's website for their range. Who knows they may make something suitable. (Dh likes their lemongrass flavoured bomb.) Personally I wouldn't get him one if there was a chance of it aggravating his eczema. Is bath confetti made of the same stuff? Or are there any bath toys he doesn't have - crayons for example.
As to the control freakery stuff I think I sympathise with her. Ds1 really needs for things to be a certain way and gets thrown if things aren't the way they should be for too long a period of time (will start having melt-downs and disturbed nights) even though on the face of it ds1'll appear to have had a fantastic time. Is she maybe having to mop up the after-effects once he's returned home to her? Think it's worth probing to see if there's a chance this is the case with her because after 6 years she ought to be able to trust you. I think that kind of thing is dificult to see if you're not the main carer.

DD has two amle friend sover last summer - both aged 4-5, same as her. They found one of DD's glittery bath bombs upstairs and had a wonderful time with it outside int he paddling pool. They all smelled lovely afterwards, as well as sparkly all the way back home. No one cared if they looked "boyish enough"

If you go into Lush and ask them about allergies and skin conditions they will give you full lists of ingrediantsa and can advise which products are best. They may also be able to offer you samples to take home to try.

Agree with Blu about that you are being unreasonable about him liking "girly" bath bombs.

Lush is lovely but very expensive and you really have to be able to stand the smell. I find it overwhelming - even just walking past it makes me want to pass out.

What about making some with him ? Here's a recipe :

Fizzy Milk Bath Bombs

• 1 c. baking soda
• 1/2 c. citric acid
• 1/2 c. corn starch
• 1/3 c. epsom salts (finely ground)
• 1/4 c. powdered milk (buttermilk will clump so don't use it)
• 2T olive oil (tip: infuse calendula petals for an extra therapeutic bath)
• 2tsp melted cocoa butter
• 1tsp fragrance or essential oil
• 3-7tsp water/witch hazel blend (1:1). TIP: put in a spray bottle for even dispersion

Mix all dry ingredients together well, drizzle the olive oil and melted cocoa butter and fragrance/essential oil over the dry mix, mix together with hands, and then use witch hazel/water blend to get the product to the right consistency to shove into your favorite molds. Enjoy with your bath!

I haven't made bath bombs before but I reckon the epsom salt & the powdered milk will be pretty soothing for his eczema. You could replace the Olive Oil for something like avocado oil which will be alittle more moisturising and you can put whatever essential oil in that you want, maybe something like Chamomile as it should again help soothe his eczema, or you could leave it unscented. Use muffin tins I think as a mold.

It might cost a little to get the ingredients initially but it will be something that he'll probably enjoy making with you and the ingredients will keep you going for a bit. Oh, and I could be wrong but I suspect that you can replace the powdered milk with oats ground very finely in a food processor which will be like colloidal oatmeal (ingredient in Aveeno creams and bath stuff)

The MIL issues aside, are you the parents who I saw berating their toddler son for pushing a GIRLY toy buggy (it was blue...) and snatching him away from it?

Lush ones are too expensive for a lo in my opinion and it's not as though there is one down the road (though I wish they were, as I love their products, but even for me they are a rare treat). I will look into the home made ones because they sound like something practical that he can do that would be fun.
As for the standard of care he gets at our house his mum has absolutely NOTHING to complain about. We ask him what he wants to do, whether play with his toys or to go to the park or occasionally will take him to a museum or a amusement park. Most Sundays we have him we take him to dh's parents who he loves spending time with. But most of the time he is perfectly content playing with his daddy. The problem is, and this is not just me saying this, I have had a LOT of discussions with her mum and her best friend, she does NOT spend a lot of time just playing with him, like his dad does. She also doesn't do any of the things that his school teacher has asked her to do with him but expects us to do it (which we do). All in all, I would say that spends just as much quality of time with us as with her because when he comes up to visit, he is the focus of all our activities.
All of the thing she says about my dh's parenting style are down right hurtful and untrue. We always put dss's needs first we make sure is alwasy happy and healthy. One of the things that I thinks narks her is that always have healthy home cooked meals for him when he stays with us, she lives out of packets, in fact he told me a few times he likes my cooking best
I know it's hard for her being a single mum, we ensure that she gets plenty of maintenance so that he never does without. But then she goes and wastes money on holidays and huge presents for him that she knows that she cannot afford even when we said we could not help pay for them (and we wouldn't be able to afford either!).
She is also doing a Master's degree so her time is pretty filled up with lectures and studying, but aside from me and dp, she has a huge family & friend network who adore my dss and are always happy to help out looking after him when she is at uni or needs study time.

www.lush.co.uk/
Sorry had to do the school run, here is the link.

Hunkermunker - no, I can assure you that wasn't us.. Now that is a bit extreme! Actually he did have a baby doll in a pram at one point but eventually he got bored of it. No one commented on it as being inappropriate.
I'm against gender- sterotyping as well by the way, in fact I did tell dh off for making those comments. My concern was for his skin!

we need child/skin friendly bath bombs, quick get copyright

Actually, if we add a bit of baby oil to the bath water, would that offset the dryness? I do actually have a bath bomb in the cupboard (came with a Xmas present) but if his eczema flairs up while he is with us, we'll never hear the end of it...

Stick a splash of olive oil, it will help a little I think, then moisturise whilst his skin is still a little damp.

er, who said bath bombs are girly? they are called bombs, aren't they? not fairy farts. How much more boyish can you get?

hotwheels do bath bombs. ds had one for christmas and in the middle of it was a car. very boyish. (although i effing hate hotwheels, rip off crap toys). its not girly! as for his excema, i dont know, dont have much experience of that.