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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbours sitting outside my window.

156 replies

MasuMara · 22/05/2017 17:45

There's a courtyard outside my bedroom window, it belongs to my neighbours.

They've placed their table and chairs right outside my window (practically have their heads resting on it!)

The courtyard isn't huge but they could easily place it elsewhere. I've come home today and it's been a long day and I just wanted to lie on my bed and chill ... and he's out there smoking.

I don't feel I should have to sit in the dark to avoid being stared at. Aibu?

OP posts:

ginflumpsandzebraprint · 22/05/2017 22:16

We had this in 1 of our first properties, we found out although they owned the courtyard, there was a 1/2 meter past our window still in our boundaries.
I will say it caused merry hell when we went to tell them
Good luck op

Palace2 · 23/05/2017 02:24

You could also buy some 'bottom up' blinds. A roller blind that is fitted at the bottom of the window that you pull up as far as you need it too, leting light in on the top half of the window. My friend has them for the same reason and they work well for her

EllenMP · 23/05/2017 17:31

I think you could reasonably ask them (nicely) not to smoke outside your open window as the smoke comes into your bedroom. You should be able to open your windows without submitting to passive smoking. If they are out there after 10pm I think you could also ask them not to talk right near your window. Once you've asked them to not subject you to their smoke and late night noise I think it's up to them whether or not they want to move their table.

Toomanyspotsforagrownup · 23/05/2017 18:03

I thought there was a picture/diagram it was actually an advert for blinds 😕 Bit disappointed for a minute

user1495558833 · 23/05/2017 18:16

Why are people being so touchy about this?
I'm sure if they were in the same position and had someone sitting directly outside their bedroom they'd be thinking the same thing.

Yes, it's their courtyard, they can sit where they want, however they may be courteous enough to move their table and chairs to a different part if you're polite enough with them (I'm sure you would be!) you can even make a little joke about how the layout is so strange and explain it's your bedroom and they may just understand.
If I were them though I'd feel super awkward sitting outside someone's bedroom window?!

If all else fails, the films you can buy off eBay/Amazon/probably b&q are awesome. I had one on my sons bedroom window when we were ground floor because I'm a sucker for daylight with a bit of privacy.

Craigie · 23/05/2017 18:22

Go out and wash your windows with a hose. They'll soon move.

thekaratekid · 23/05/2017 18:31

We had a similar situation. Lived in a ground floor flat and the tiny garden was shared, despite only our flat having direct access onto it. We used to get neighbours from upstairs smoking and having bbqs literally outside our french doors. Nothing we could do as it was a "shared" garden.

One set of neighbours really took the piss by having a garden party with salsa dancing and blaring music....5 feet away from bedroom window. I opened our doors right up and stood there watching them dance...felt like a weirdo...but they packed up pretty quick.

Ultimately we moved in the end...sorry op.

Theycalledmethewildrose · 23/05/2017 18:41

Pop your head out and ask if they know about Jesus Christ, their (potential) Lord and Saviour?

^^ This made me laugh out loud.Do this OP. Please do and report back okay? :)

I'd open the window and sit right up against it and listen to them. Once they realise that they aren't having any sort of private conversation, they should move along. Or as others have said, try to join in. That'll move them along nicely.

And on a more longterm note, go to Ikea and buy some long gauze like curtains.

user1480459555 · 23/05/2017 19:04

Yes of course they can sit where they like in their garden but, honestly, who would choose to sit right outside their neighbour's window?

So many people don't seem to have any idea of personal space or just common courtesy.

I would probably speak to them in a friendly way about it. I would hate it if it were me. Also I hope they are not likely to be sitting outside until late on nice evenings

AnathemaPulsifer · 23/05/2017 19:10

I don't think you have any grounds for moaning about it until you've asked them - in a very polite and friendly tone - whether they could move their table as it's currently right under your bedroom window and you hear every word when they're chatting.

thetreesarebare · 23/05/2017 19:18

Go out & pitch up a stool/ladder & start cleaning your window with water & vinegar. Go heavy on the vinegar. Chat constantly to them & do it everytime they sit there. You could always drop into the convo that maybe it would be best they move their table as you really like sparkly Windows. This would bug the life out of me too.

CattyMcCatface · 23/05/2017 20:24

Put some Des O'Connor music on and open the window.

QuintessentialShadow · 23/05/2017 20:25

You need to style your window into a puppet theater, big red drape curtains, and Punch and Judy.

HamletsSister · 23/05/2017 20:49

Open the window a crack. Mutter (loudly) "Oops, pardon me" while squeezing a whoopee cushion and letting off a stink bomb. Drop them a note apologising for your "issues" and repeat until they move.

Jojofjo44 · 23/05/2017 21:29

Bit of an odd suggestion for here but... Why not open the window and ask them if they would mind moving their table and chairs because it's taking your privacy away? Or is that too easy?

NotQuiteThatDesperateYet · 23/05/2017 21:33

Omg, puppet show is totally the way forward! 😂

Theycalledmethewildrose · 23/05/2017 21:34

Play Trump's speeches loudly on a loop :-)

pollymere · 23/05/2017 22:02

I find Andrew Lloyd Webber useful in these situations...or you could politely ask for them to move slightly as you were planning a lie down and the smoke is coming through your window.

CaptainNelson · 24/05/2017 00:02

We have a similar problem with neighbours who sit smoking outside their flat, opposite our hallway & kitchen, every day. They sometimes put table and chairs out there too. They have another garden area which is secluded that they could use, but choose to sit and start into our house - I often catch their eye as I'm walking about and see her staring straight at me. I let the dog eyeball them. I know it's their right to use their property as they please, but there is such a thing as consideration and they don't show any. You have my sympathy, OP. If you can't talk to them (as we can't to ours - long story) I can only suggest making them feel uncomfortable about it if you can.

Benedikte2 · 24/05/2017 11:40

I would intrude on their "privacy" in some way ( plenty of suggestions above) . If they value it at all they will move away. Is there anyway you can rig up a light that will shine in their eyes -- reflected off a mirror or something, that makes that area unpleasant to sit in.

SkyBluePinkToday · 24/05/2017 12:33

Every time they sit there just pop your head out of the window and join in their conversation in an overly-friendly manner.
They'll move.

OpalTree · 24/05/2017 12:46

Could you put a seat on your side of the open window and have a fake phone call in a very droney voice interspersed with shrieking laughter followed by loud snorts. Then cheering and whooping. Then the phone call upsets you, so loud wailing etc etc.

MineralWater · 24/05/2017 12:56

Open your window wide. Sit on your window sill pretending to be a cat. Lick your paws (hands), rub your paws over your ears, meow. Do this slowly while making sinister eye contact with them. Then scarper into your flat as soon as one of them moves.

Return a couple of minutes later pretending to be a normal human and ask if they've seen your cat anywhere.

MineralWater · 24/05/2017 12:57

These sorts of threads are why I fucking love MN

OpalTree · 24/05/2017 13:12

I love the stink bomb/whoopie cushion idea followed by note apologising for issues.

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