Neighbours sitting outside my window.

[MasuMara]

There's a courtyard outside my bedroom window, it belongs to my neighbours.

They've placed their table and chairs right outside my window (practically have their heads resting on it!)

The courtyard isn't huge but they could easily place it elsewhere. I've come home today and it's been a long day and I just wanted to lie on my bed and chill ... and he's out there smoking.

I don't feel I should have to sit in the dark to avoid being stared at. Aibu?

Pretty annoying, but then I would never buy a house with this arrangement. But the smoke would do my head in.

Talk to them nicely. If they won't move/stop smoking, then bring out the big guns. There have been several good suggestions here. Although no-one has mentioned installing a large, noisy air conditioning unit. They are wonderful, and blow warm air back outside. If they still won't stop smoking under your window, at least you'll have fresh air.

Laugh every time one of them says something. Open you window so you bang them on the head. Smile and be super nice to them. Offer opinions. New hobby for you OP!

But whose wall is it?

Claim ownership on the wall, ask if you cant have access to the courtyard to paint a mural on the wall.

Walk naked, play beethoven, or brahms, or rap, or norwegian folk music, please play norwegian folk music..

They can enjoy your garden, and YOU can enjoy your bedroom.

Could we have a diagram please?

Take vac to bedroom and stand it near the window, switch the vac on open your bedroom window, go for a leisurely bath

But seriously, either they'll realise or they should move if you ask nicely.
You could always say you don't want to eavesdrop, but you can hear every word.

What do you want me to do? Bang on my window and shout hello through it? open the window and ask to borrow a smoke?

Of course not. It just seems strange to me not to know your neighbours. We had someone move in opposite recently, and everybody in the adjacent houses has spoken to them, just to say, like, hello, I'm 29Palms, I live over there, give us a shout if you need anything.

And no, not all neighbours are nice, but if you never approach them you'll never know.

I would try to strike up a friendlyish relationship first. Eg wave out to them when you open your window. Comment on the weather.
Then once you are 'friends' do the irritating choice of music with window open/ vacuum your room / maybe not full on sex noises but a male voice chatting and laughing with you suggestively (then very obviously close curtains or play seductive music).

Might be their courtyard but they could show you some courtesy! I bet if you said it was bothering you they would move

What's wrong with 90's pop???

Seriously though, do you have a diagram?

Best I can do

Is it the only window over looking the courtyard?

Ooh a neon diagram, funky. How old are they? How about one of those high pitches sirens that scare teenagers away?

I am even more confused now!

So your bedroom window opens out onto their courtyard?

Your bedroom is downstairs yeah?

How far is the table (and chairs) from your window?

Downstairs flat so yes bedroom on the ground floor. The table and chairs are a couple of inches away from my window.

can you rejig rooms eg make that a spare room or living room?

Can you go to open the window wide as you're hot and be surprised they are there, say oh sorry I just want to open my window, any chance you can move along a bit?

I think it would be kind of them to budge up.

Tell them you can hear everything they say, that might help.

Oooh that is a pain in the bum isn't it?

Apart from asking them to move it (which may cause neighbour issues) you can do little else except put nets up. Though smoking near your window is very inconsiderate. Do you have a landlord you could complain to, who could make a blanket rule that no-one can smoke within 30 feet of the building outside...?

Pull the curtains, play a buzzing noise and start moaning. They'll move.

Open the window and ask whether they need a menu or are ready to order

I own my flat so can't make a complaint to anyone.

Can't re-jig my rooms at all.

Starry that made me nearly spit my coffee out!!

Shake a rug out the window.

Be very careful. My sister had exactly the same set up. She fell out with the neighbours over parking. They erected a perspex screen outside her window on which they would write messages. She contacted , the police, planning, the fire service, a solicitor. All agreed nothing could be done as it's their property