To think a 5 year shouldn't be allowed so much freedom.

[yayayahey]

So we went to a kids party on the weekend and the birthday child and two of her friends (she was 5, other kids 6 and 5) were playing 5 minutes from the house on the sea wall.

You couldn't see them from the house and her Dad said "she spends hours at a time down there, it's great she can have the freedom."

I hate being that judgey parent but was so surprised I said "my God do you think that's safe?!" and had the two parents (very gently and nicely) lecturing me on how kids need freedom and I needed to loosen up when ds (3.5) got a little older.

A number of things could have happened to her. She could slip (good 10 foot drop) and smash her head, she call fall in the ocean and drown, or god forbid somebody could take her. It's a a very naice seaside town but still, it can happen anywhere.

I really wasn't being unreasonable in thinking a 5 year old shouldn't be playing out alone for hours at a time was I?! I know you can never eliminate all risk but 5 seems so young! Dh is so fucking laid back he was all "oh I don't know, each to their own." And now they all think I'm some weird, ott, helicopter Mum.

Haha, whenever I read "naice" I think of this...

Christ. DS1 is one of the most risk-averse and sensible children in existence and I still wouldn't dream of this for years yet.

Two things that too few people have appropriate respect for: dogs, and the sea.

I grew up in Australia and I'm regularly horrified by the laissez-faire people here in the UK take to the sea. Australians are, as a whole, stronger and more experienced swimmers but also have a much greater understanding of and respect for the potential risks of open water.

I'm all for children playing out, but the age of the child and the environment they're in is everything. A five year old out within sight of the house with no major risks (busy roads, sea walls and so on) is fine with me. A five year old out of sight in what would be dangerous to a child twice their age, no bloody way.

I also am for children not being cocooned but sea wall!!! 5 year old!

I don't think they should be near water or 10f drop walls unsupervised for several years yet!!

It is weird both parents were ok with this.

I think they can be unsupervised, but even in a really safe space I think parents should be able to do a quick check on them. Even in the garden playing for a couple of hours (disclosure - our garden a bit wild and big - cant see much of it from house), I'd say I would check on a 5 yr old several times.

I used to knock about with the other kids in my street and we were pretty free-range (we had to tell our parents where we were going if we were going off the street and were given a time to get back) but the beach was totally out of bounds without an adult and all the street parents agreed on that. With many a good reason. Water, tides, it's just too dangerous for small children when every summer even adults take stupid risks with the sea.

I get a lot of stick from people about the freedom my kids get, but I feel sick at the idea of a 5yo playing alone near the sea.

I wouldn't let my 8yo play by the sea wall and he walked to and from school alone and plays out, sometimes for a couple of hours at a time. No way. That's reckless rather than relaxed imo.

A six year old boy drowned here last summer while playing in the sea, his mother drowned too trying to save him

That happened while he was being supervised, so the thought of a five year old being left alone to play on a sea wall with a 10ft drop is horrifying

My DC are adults now, but no way would I have let them play like that

Children can also be injured by rocks in the waves crashing over the sea wall - I see plenty of 'wave divers' and it's very dangerous

Hey ho - naice is a pretty common mumsnet term.

If you're taking offence at me using it then there must be a fair few posters that make you cringe.

Zukie that's awful.

I just can't get my head around both parents utter lack of foresight for viable accidents.

They are pretty emotionally removed from both of their children (there's a 1 year old brother). Dad spent the first 18 months of the 5 year old's life away and didn't see her once. Mum left for two months when she was just 6 months and now works away Monday-Friday.

Not judging but may be why they don't feel the same gut wrenching protectiveness.

I grew up in the 70s by the sea with this kind of seafront. Even in the 70s I was never allowed to wander around this sort of area on my own. With parents and siblings, yes; on my own - absolutely not. And this, I repeat, was the 70s. I got the sunburn and the fillings in my teeth to prove it.
The parents are being thoroughly irresponsible. It is not a harking back to a carefree time. I lived in that care free time - my parents weren't that stupid.

Op you can't decide if your DC will be old enough at 10 to play near the sea until they are much nearer 10. You don't know what they are going to be like.

When my twin girls was 5 I'd have told you DD2 was going to be the sensible one who could be trusted earlier than DD1. I would have said that and I'd have been vvvvv-wrong...

Don't commit to any age more than a year or so in advance. Children change so quickly.

When the inevitable happens they'll insist that it was responsible parenting and that nobody could ever have foreseen the obvious... These types aren't attached to their children, they really don't care, it's just an excuse not to parent.

It's beyond simple neglect, they're actively putting the child in real danger because they can't be arsed parenting.

I am, in general, fairly critical of the 24/7 monitoring of children that many mumsnetters advocate. But, at that age, I would find playing there very risky for a child.

By age 8 or 9 I was down at the beach on my own or with friends a lot but it was a bay and options for falling in were somewhat limited.