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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said her kids can walk home?

78 replies

Despairbunny · 22/05/2017 08:50

Quick background. V good friend of mine has dd's, her youngest is in same year as my dd (year 3) & her eldest is year 6 (my ds is year 5). She messaged me at 6am today (waking me up) saying she's stuck at her boyfriend's in South London, pls can I have the girls after school?

I say no bother (which it isn't, at all), but they'll need to walk with my two home as I'm working today. I'll be home either just before or just after they get there so they wouldn't be left alone for any large length of time.

Well, that wasn't okay, she asked if I could pick them up from their house (literally two streets away from mine). I said no, if you want me to look after your dd's after school that's fine, but they'll have to make their own way there.

I haven't had a reply yet, so I've told my two they might be walking home with my friends dd's but they don't actually know. Ds not allowed his phone in school (obviously) so I've no way of telling him if he's walking home with just his sister or with the other two girls as well!

Aibu? I'm feeling quite miffed tbh (tho that might be the 6am wake up!)

OP posts:
SaorAlbaGuBrath · 22/05/2017 08:52

Have the kids been alone over night???

ButtonMushroomEx · 22/05/2017 08:53

Yanbu. If she wants you to help then she has to fit around the schedule you can do. And why would your DC be alone longer while you pick hers up? Would they be walking alone back to her place then?

Plus it was a bit rude and inconvenient not to give you a definite answer before you had to let your DC know.

Original poster
Despairbunny · 22/05/2017 08:54

Hell no! Youngest is 8, oldest is 11! They've been home with their dad (my friends xh).

OP posts:
ButtonMushroomEx · 22/05/2017 08:55

And why is she stuck all day???

MrsJayy · 22/05/2017 08:56

Will school allow her kids to walk home it all seems really odd that she expects you to sort it out.yanbu though

NellieFiveBellies · 22/05/2017 08:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coffeetasteslikeshit · 22/05/2017 08:58

YANBU. Although I am a bit confused. Does she want you to pick them up from their house this morning or after school?

Original poster
Despairbunny · 22/05/2017 09:01

School are fine with year 3's walking if they're with an older sibling. (It's a junior school, youngest year is year 3). Her two often walk back together to their own house which isn't far from mine. She wanted all four of the dc to walk to her house, then have me pick them up from there.

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 22/05/2017 09:02

You're not being unreasonable. I don't understand why she had to text you at 6am? Or why what is good enough for your DC isn't good enough for hers? Or how she can be "stuck" at her BF's? Last time I went to South London (yesterday!), it had public transport and everything.Hmm

harderandharder2breathe · 22/05/2017 09:02

Yanbu

You're doing her a favour already, she's being cheeky to ask you to do more. Your kids walk and are the same age of younger than hers.

The school obviously let children walk home alone as OP's children do anyway.

NoCapes · 22/05/2017 09:02

Is the journey from her house to yours over a particularly busy road or anything?

emesis · 22/05/2017 09:03

You're not being unreasonable. Just stick to your guns in a firm but friendly way. Unless she comes out with a very good reason why they can't walk the extra 2 blocks.

Babymamamama · 22/05/2017 09:03

Stick by what you've offered. If your two can walk home surely they can all do that together. It's up to her to ring the school to give consent for that. I guess they were with their dad last night? Either way I think your friend needs to grow up a bit and take more responsibility. Stuck in south London really? There's no strike that I know of.

BendingSpoons · 22/05/2017 09:03

YANBU. You are expected to leave work early to pick them up because she is stuck at her bf's house?! You have offered to have them, but fitting in with your plans. It's fine if she isn't happy to let them do that, but then she needs to make other arrangements (or become unstuck!)

Emma1609 · 22/05/2017 09:04

YANBU she is being cheeky - she should be grateful and thanking you for doing a favour - if she doesn't like it then she should politely decline and sort something else out. Taking the piss!

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 22/05/2017 09:04

Sorry I misunderstood. I still think she's taking the piss texting demands at 6am. If she wanted things to run exactly as she wanted, she should have been better organised!

Original poster
Despairbunny · 22/05/2017 09:05

There is only one thing I'm thinking which might make me BU but it's only just occurred to me so apologies for drip feeding.

If they're going straight to mine, from school, they have to cross a busy road (my two do this most days). There is a crossing (which my two use on strict instructions) but maybe she doesn't want her girls crossing the busy road?

OP posts:
Original poster
Despairbunny · 22/05/2017 09:05

Oh & she's stuck cause she's poorly. She has a lot of problems with her health (which is why I'm happy to help).

OP posts:
NoCapes · 22/05/2017 09:06

Well there you go then, seems obvious, I wouldn't want my year 3 child crossing a very busy road without an adult either

MrsJayy · 22/05/2017 09:06

Sorry didn't mean the school shouldn't allow kids to walk home just if plans change schools usually want to know iyswim.

RebootYourEngine · 22/05/2017 09:06

Why does she want the children to walk to her house and not yours, will be someone waiting for them at her house? If so why cant they look after the kids.

Original poster
Despairbunny · 22/05/2017 09:09

Thinking about it, maybe it's the road? But as I say, there's a crossing which my two use (I know an elderly lady who lives near the crossing & she spies on my kids & tells me if they don't use the crossing. They have only done this once, never again).

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 22/05/2017 09:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nanny0gg · 22/05/2017 09:10

Our school don't like children below Year 6 walking home without an adult.

If it's a busy road then it's unreasonable to have a Year 3 do it in the care of a Year 6 imo. My DGC would take no notice of a sibling.

harderandharder2breathe · 22/05/2017 09:11

Also I'd be curious how she was "stuck" in somewhere with good public transport on a weekday

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