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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said her kids can walk home?

78 replies

Despairbunny · 22/05/2017 08:50

Quick background. V good friend of mine has dd's, her youngest is in same year as my dd (year 3) & her eldest is year 6 (my ds is year 5). She messaged me at 6am today (waking me up) saying she's stuck at her boyfriend's in South London, pls can I have the girls after school?

I say no bother (which it isn't, at all), but they'll need to walk with my two home as I'm working today. I'll be home either just before or just after they get there so they wouldn't be left alone for any large length of time.

Well, that wasn't okay, she asked if I could pick them up from their house (literally two streets away from mine). I said no, if you want me to look after your dd's after school that's fine, but they'll have to make their own way there.

I haven't had a reply yet, so I've told my two they might be walking home with my friends dd's but they don't actually know. Ds not allowed his phone in school (obviously) so I've no way of telling him if he's walking home with just his sister or with the other two girls as well!

Aibu? I'm feeling quite miffed tbh (tho that might be the 6am wake up!)

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 22/05/2017 11:13

The OP said she gets home at around the same time as the kids, so presumably she could pick them up.

diddl · 22/05/2017 11:21

"She wanted all four of the dc to walk to her house, then have me pick them up from there"

Well in theory that doesn't sound too bad if it's a safer route-but presumably they'd all be waiting outside whereas at yours they could get in?

Original poster
Despairbunny · 22/05/2017 12:14

Yes - I didn't really want them all hanging around outside my friends house (much bigger possibility for mucking about imo) waiting potentially a quarter of an hour for me, when they could walk to mine & use ds' key to get in if I wasn't quite there (sometimes I get caught at work).

Suspect her xh will try to get home from work early to be home for the girls. Makes my life easier tbh as I'm not cooking for 4 kids!

OP posts:
NotISaidTheWalrus · 22/05/2017 12:17

I wouldn't want a year 3 crossing a busy road on their own tbh

Isn't it handy they wouldn't be on their own then?

Willow2017 · 22/05/2017 12:19

I think an 8 & 11yr old could use a crossing with other kids!

If you are asking a favour you dont dictate the terms!

dustarr73 · 22/05/2017 12:29

So op,has your friend got back to you yet

NoCapes · 22/05/2017 12:34

Willow those aren't necessarily their ages, I have a year 3 who isn't 8 until the summer holidays

Plus, some could some couldn't, bit silly to say every single child of that age could, if these children have never had to do it without an adult before I don't think it's unreasonable not to trust them to do it today, particularly within a group of 4 children where they're more likely to show off and be silly

LackBladder · 22/05/2017 12:59

those aren't necessarily their ages, I have a year 3 who isn't 8 until the summer holidays

Except those are their ages, as the OP clearly stated.

I'm with you OP. If this woman hasn't instilled good and proper road safety in her children, then she will have to make other plans. My 8 & 11 year olds are perfectly capable of sensibly crossing a busy road, at a crossing, and it's clear the OP's children do this very regularly, so know the drill.

NoCapes · 22/05/2017 13:33

She just said what school years they were in, year 3 & 6

NoCapes · 22/05/2017 13:36

Oh I've just read back, I missed the post where she clarified their ages, ignore that bit of my post then

The rest is still valid though

rollonthesummer · 22/05/2017 13:37

The OP clearly states-Youngest is 8, oldest is 11! so yes, we do know exactly.

NoCapes · 22/05/2017 13:39

Calm down, I've already corrected myself!

5foot5 · 22/05/2017 13:43

I wouldn't want a year 3 crossing a busy road on their own tbh.

They wouldn't be on their own they would be with older kids who are used to doing it.

YANBU She is expecting you to put your children in a position you might not be happy with (hanging around unsupervised outside of her house)

Willow2017 · 22/05/2017 13:57

Nocapes
OP stated that that was their ages.

Willow2017 · 22/05/2017 13:59

Well if my kids did not know how to cross a road by 11 I would feel I had missed out on something somewhere.

Nocapes - x posted.

NoCapes · 22/05/2017 14:08

I agree Willow I was thinking more of the Year 3 child, I didn't make that very clear, apologies

Willow2017 · 22/05/2017 14:10

No problem, I just thought that as the other kids were used to it and there was an 11 yr old they would be able to cross a road at a crossing safely.

Colacolaaddict · 22/05/2017 14:17

Did you hear back from her OP?

Inertia · 22/05/2017 14:20

How far away from London do you live that she's stuck there and can't get back for school pick up 9 and a half hours later? She could get to Aberdeen in that time!

Theresnonamesleft · 22/05/2017 14:32

If you bothered to read the thread you would see why the friend is stuck.

dustarr73 · 22/05/2017 14:36

I've read the thread,seen friend is sick.But friend hasn't got back to op.

silkpyjamasallday · 22/05/2017 14:44

You are not being unreasonable at all OP, she can't ask favours and dictate the terms. Also totally irresponsible of her to be going away when she has commitments the next day if she can become so 'poorly' at the drop of a hat as to be unable to get to her children. Disabled mothers or mothers having chemo still manage to collect their kids from school, if she was well enough to visit her boyfriend she is well enough to bloody get to and pick up her own children. What is she going to do if no one can help? She is taking the piss

Original poster
Despairbunny · 22/05/2017 15:44

Hi everyone. Sorry not to be on all day (work, blah).

I ended up calling her at lunch as she hadn't got back to me. Her xh is going to pick up the girls, my two walking home as normal. All's well that ends well!

OP posts:
rightwhine · 22/05/2017 18:31

But she should have let you know. She's obviously annoyed!

diddl · 22/05/2017 20:14

So if she had sorted it out, why didn't she let you know straight away?

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