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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu - 3 year old fell whilst alone in garden

77 replies

Za1ny · 21/05/2017 22:51

My 3 year old fell in her great grandmother's garden today. She was there unsupervised and has a huge bump and it's all grazed and looks awful. She's scraped her knees and was very upset about the whole thing saying that they (grandmother and whoever else was there) left her alone and shut the door because they were BUSY

WTF

I AM FUMING

Why the fuck ask to see my child if you can't fucking look after her. I am even angrier as my daughter was left alone and hurt as no one heard her and they shut the fucking door so she couldn't get back in.

I had a go at my ex but he wasn't there in the house at the time but he was making excuses.

She usually spends time with them on Sunday's, aibu if i stop contact (for a while) as I'm furious.

OP posts:
Jakeyboy1 · 21/05/2017 22:53

Poor thing. Try and get to the bottom of it but I agree with you.

MycatsaPirate · 21/05/2017 22:54

Have you actually spoken to the grandmother? Not making excuses but your child is 3 years old and you only have her word for it.

You need to calm down and then speak to whoever was meant to be looking after her and ask exactly what happened.

Kids get bumps and scrapes all the time, even when they are being looked after and watched. You cannot shadow their every little step. Both mine have fallen while I have been stood right next to them and suffered worse injuries than a bumped head and a scraped knee.

And yes, yabu to stop contact. That's just ridiculous.

Original poster
Za1ny · 21/05/2017 22:56

Whoever was supposed to be looking after her wouldn't know what happened as she was left alone.

I've not spoken to grandmother as we are not on speaking terms at the minute but she confirmed it with my ex that she was left alone in the garden

OP posts:
BandeauSally · 21/05/2017 22:57

Is this the first time your child has ever fallen? Confused

Bettyspants · 21/05/2017 22:57

First take a few big breaths and try and chill. Children can have a different view of events to what actually happened. Ring ggm in the morning and establish exactly what happened. If what your daughter said is true then I certainly wouldn't leave her in ggm care again.

Familyof3or4 · 21/05/2017 22:57

They could have been 6 feet away from her and not stopped her falling.

BarbarianMum · 21/05/2017 22:57

Well it kind of depends on the garden really. Mine's very safe and quite small so my children were allowed out in it whilst I stayed in the kitchen (in earshot) from about age 2.5. And again - falling over, bumping head and grazing is a normal childhood accident that can happen even whilst you're looking on.

Original poster
Za1ny · 21/05/2017 23:01

The garden is not safe it's full of shit. I get that she could have fallen whilst being supervised but why shut the door?

OP posts:
CharcoalandInk · 21/05/2017 23:06

Actually I agree with you OP, I would be furious about this.

FloatyCat · 21/05/2017 23:08

I guess falling can happen even if you are stood right next to them, however the locking the door sounds completely unacceptable. I would be furious for that.

Willyoujustbequiet · 21/05/2017 23:08

yanbu. I would stop contact in those circumstances. it's neglect.

MrsWire · 21/05/2017 23:12

yanbu. I would stop contact in those circumstances. it's neglect

Seriously?!

Willyoujustbequiet · 21/05/2017 23:14

Mrs wire

yes seriously Hmm

GriefLeavesItsMark · 21/05/2017 23:14

But it isn't up to you where you ex takes his child during his contact time.

steff13 · 21/05/2017 23:15

It's stopping contact something you can do? Aren't there legal ramifications?

What happens when she is injured on your watch (which is bound to happen sooner or later)? Can her father stop contact with you for a while?

5foot5 · 21/05/2017 23:17

The garden is not safe it's full of shit.

Do you really mean that or do you mean it is full of clutter she could hurt herself on?

I think YANBU if she was left unsupervised in the garden with the door shut at 3. Why have her round if they cab to spend time with her

Willyoujustbequiet · 21/05/2017 23:17

If there is a potential issue of neglect of course it's the op's business.

LouHotel · 21/05/2017 23:23

Is she newly 3 or closer to 4? I think 3 is a grey area in unsupervised play and depends on the child.

However putting a child in a garden and closing the door is unacceptable, look at the instand recently of a 2 year old attacked by a neighbours dog, imagine if the aunty had been out of ear shot.

Xmasbaby11 · 21/05/2017 23:24

Yanbu depending on how long they left her. And I'd want to know why they shut the door. I can't think of any justifiable reason.

TheRealPooTroll · 21/05/2017 23:28

Nothing wrong with letting a 3 yr old play in the garden alone while you potter about inside and keep an eye/ear on them.
I would be concerned if the door was shut and she wasn't able to reach the handle to get back in though - so basically locked out. Was that the case?

Original poster
Za1ny · 21/05/2017 23:36

My daughter told me that there are bricks in the garden and she was playing by jumping over them. she is not going to make this up. I asked her how she fell and she showed me (face down) she said she didn't fall on the bricks. She can't have fallen on the grass so must have fell on the paved part of the garden.

The bump doesn't look small, it's actually covering almost all her cheek and it looks like she fell badly.

My daughter is upset that she was left alone and has said to me that 'they were bad to me, they left me alone and shut the door and I fell'

I believe what my daughter says as although she is 3 she speaks properly and doesn't lie. Also she does usually like going to the ggmothers house but has said she doesn't want to go again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Za1ny · 21/05/2017 23:37

Yes she couldn't get to open the door as she couldn't reach.

OP posts:
BandeauSally · 21/05/2017 23:38

So you haven't even seen the garden but you know it was unsafe and full of shit? Hmm

Original poster
Za1ny · 21/05/2017 23:41

When did I say I haven't seen the garden?

OP posts:
BandeauSally · 21/05/2017 23:44

Because you said your daughter told you what was in the garden. If you had seen it I would have expected you to say so.

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