To have told this woman that the world doesn't revolve around her kid?

[FatFacedDog]

Sat on a plane, window seat. In front of me, a kid aged about 5/6. The way the windows were placed I had one slightly behind me (which I would have to crank my neck to look through) and one in front of me which I could see through perfectly.

Long flight.

As the plane starts driving towards runway the kid in front decides to close all the shutters of the windows he can reach meaning the one in front of him and the one behind him (mine!). I didn't say anything at this point as I a) assumed his mother would as that wasn't his window to prat about with and b) the staff would ensure all shutters were up for takeoff anyway.

So the staff walk down the aisle and see "my" window with the shutter down and tell ME sternly to do the shutter up as has been requested already. I said "I didn't put it down!" And hastily push it back up. With this the kid spins around and says "hey! I want that closed!" So I said nicely "well it has to be open I'm afraid". His useless mother paying no attention. He reaches behind him to close it and I stop him and say "no! It's to remain open!".

At this point he whines to his mother that I keep opening the "curtain" when he wants it shut so she said "you can close it when we start flying". It was my window!!!

So once up in the air he spins around, gives me the look and slams the shutter down. REALLY irritated at this point I open it back up and say "I'm sorry, I'm keeping my shutter open for now". He screams and shouts at his mother that the horrible lady behind won't let him shut the curtains. She turns around and says "sorry, he really likes them closed". I say "well he can close his shutter but this one is mine and I like them open". She gasped dramatically and said "are you serious? He's a child!".

Now I'm proper fuming at this point and said "well maybe this is a great opportunity to teach him about respecting those around him". He snaps back "what do you mean by that??" And I say "that the world doesn't revolve around him!".

Now sensing the whole thing was snowballing I say "look, im sorry but it's a long flight and I'm claustrophobic, I can't sit for 7 hours with my shutter closed".

She spun back in her chair and snapped at the kid "just leave it open, some people are just selfish!".

SO wibu??? DH seems to think so!

She turns around and says "sorry, he really likes them closed". I say "well he can close his shutter but this one is mine and I like them open". She gasped dramatically and said "are you serious? He's a child!".

YADNBU. She on the other hand is! I'm the mum of two small kids as well and no way would behave like that.
Kids don't have a chance when they get indulged like that.

I've had this with a shared window on a train. The man in front of me pulled the blind down. I was enjoying looking out of the window but just logged onto Netflix instead who knew you could download episodes to watch offline

Thanks to the 2 posters who explained to me why some of the AIBU's aren't as obvious as I thought. I see what you mean now - I just can't believe some people would have thought the OP was BU.

You definately weren't!

How wonderful to have migraines where you can work at the same time

Yes I wish I got that type. Sounds extremely convenient!

I can imagine my DS (additional needs) making a similar fuss to the child in front of you OP, the difference is I would never have let him get away with disrespecting others like that.
You were definitely not unreasonable

YANBU.
I would have opened it straight away and not offered any explanation about claustrophobia or anything else.
If the child had tried closing it again I would have told him that the shutter next to me is staying open. He could whinge to his mother all he liked....the result would be it stayed open whatever he or she did/said.

HoldBackTheRain
Oh yes.
No more it takes a village. Some kids are to precious to have their wishes denied and God help somebody who points out the world doesn't revolve around said brat.

It's like when I went to try clothes on and there were kids playing in the only free changing room. Politely asked them to move so I could try on. Got totally ignored and when I repeated myself slightly louder (so the adult I assumed was near by but not remotely supervising them could hear) this woman came out and said to the kids "(sigh + filthy look) you'll have to move. That 'lady' can't see I'm busy and apparently can't wait"

Why the hell should I wait so your kids can take over the fitting rooms and scream at the top of their voices?!

If I'd posted in AIBU I'd get at least 3 replies saying I should have been more understanding and waited whilst this lass tried on half the shop and had loud conversations with her mate instead of watching her kids.

Runloganrun - I would simply pull the shutter back up again if you pulled it down. And if you vomited on me I would assume you had done it on purpose and would use your face clothing to wipe it up.

well said OP

Gillit! What happened then?

Where was the window in relation to you? You say in front, but was it between you and the seat in front, or was it next to the child's seat?
Just wondering if it was 'yours' or 'his'

Omg I am amazed. YANBU!!!

Good on you. Her child needed telling. It's one of those parents where her child can do no wrong, and is raising a spoiled brat.

FrancisCrawford
Have we had "but they're just a child!" Yet?

Or

"How do you know the mother was rude? Maybe she's just stressed travelling with kids."

Or

"I'm glad your kids are perfect when you go travelling. Please share your secrets"

If not, it's a matter of time before they come up.

So that's the secret I've never found then!

Maisypops it's not often I'm lost for words but I am now. I thought Highgate Mums was mostly fiction, I'm guessing now it probably isn't.

At the risk of sounding like my granny, what is the world coming to?!

Runloganrun I get terrible migraines several times a month and sunlight is often far too bright for me (always wear sunglasses when out and about), so I understand wanting the shutter closed.

However, I always take my eye mask with me when travelling to solve this exact issue.

If you have to work on the plane, what about wearing sunglasses?

Good for you.

Ooh, can I throw in an ancient anecdote of shockingly inconsiderate selfish parent...

Busy shoe shop. Heavily pregnant lady needs to try on shoes. All seats taken. Politely asks child (8-10 years?) if he can move so she can try the shoes on. Child politely obliges. Mother comes up and erupts at the lady in a foul mouthed tirade, how dare she tell someone else's child to move etc etc. The shop halts, everyone speechless including the staff and lady's blind partner (nearby with their buggy and his white stick). Before anyone can bring themselves to react, ranting woman storms off dragging child with her. It was absolutely extraordinary, tbh I'm not sure if intervening would have resulted in violence, it felt like she was capable of throwing a punch.
I did try saying "you were in the right" but the lady and everyone else was still stunned by the tirade that had just taken place.

It struck me that the child who had acted decently in response to a fair, polite request had just had a lesson in being taught to be a selfish fucking twat.

Children need to be able to cooperate with the world around them, and parents have a responsibility to consider how their children affect others.

Of course YABU. Next time don't fly if you're so fucking claustrophobic you can't handle your shutter being closed. How would your claustrophobia have handled someone like me, who gets migraines on planes and so often has to pull down shutters? I wouldn't have argued with you - I probably would have turned around and thrown up all over your lap.
Omg
What a crock of shit!
Im a nervous flier and a migraine sufferer, however thats my problem! It doesn't mean i dictate if someone has their shutter open or closed!
That's your problem.
How entitled

Of course YABU. Next time don't fly if you're so fucking claustrophobic you can't handle your shutter being closed. How would your claustrophobia have handled someone like me, who gets migraines on planes and so often has to pull down shutters? I wouldn't have argued with you - I probably would have turned around and thrown up all over your lap.

Next time don't fly with fucking migraines. Gobshite

Of course YABU. Next time don't fly if you're so fucking claustrophobic you can't handle your shutter being closed. How would your claustrophobia have handled someone like me, who gets migraines on planes and so often has to pull down shutters? I wouldn't have argued with you - I probably would have turned around and thrown up all over your lap.

You sound as entitled as the mum and her kid.

yanbu op