To have told this woman that the world doesn't revolve around her kid?

[FatFacedDog]

Sat on a plane, window seat. In front of me, a kid aged about 5/6. The way the windows were placed I had one slightly behind me (which I would have to crank my neck to look through) and one in front of me which I could see through perfectly.

Long flight.

As the plane starts driving towards runway the kid in front decides to close all the shutters of the windows he can reach meaning the one in front of him and the one behind him (mine!). I didn't say anything at this point as I a) assumed his mother would as that wasn't his window to prat about with and b) the staff would ensure all shutters were up for takeoff anyway.

So the staff walk down the aisle and see "my" window with the shutter down and tell ME sternly to do the shutter up as has been requested already. I said "I didn't put it down!" And hastily push it back up. With this the kid spins around and says "hey! I want that closed!" So I said nicely "well it has to be open I'm afraid". His useless mother paying no attention. He reaches behind him to close it and I stop him and say "no! It's to remain open!".

At this point he whines to his mother that I keep opening the "curtain" when he wants it shut so she said "you can close it when we start flying". It was my window!!!

So once up in the air he spins around, gives me the look and slams the shutter down. REALLY irritated at this point I open it back up and say "I'm sorry, I'm keeping my shutter open for now". He screams and shouts at his mother that the horrible lady behind won't let him shut the curtains. She turns around and says "sorry, he really likes them closed". I say "well he can close his shutter but this one is mine and I like them open". She gasped dramatically and said "are you serious? He's a child!".

Now I'm proper fuming at this point and said "well maybe this is a great opportunity to teach him about respecting those around him". He snaps back "what do you mean by that??" And I say "that the world doesn't revolve around him!".

Now sensing the whole thing was snowballing I say "look, im sorry but it's a long flight and I'm claustrophobic, I can't sit for 7 hours with my shutter closed".

She spun back in her chair and snapped at the kid "just leave it open, some people are just selfish!".

SO wibu??? DH seems to think so!

Just be grateful he was in front of you and not behind, otherwise you'd have had your seat kicked, too. Still, it might have taken your mind off the claustrophobia!

Why do some parents set their kids up for future disappointment this way. What a shock he has coming the day he realizes he is no more important than the next person. Why would you even want your child to think this way?

Good in you OP! YANBU

YANBU. Some people leave their brains behind when they fly. Good for you for taking a stand.

Did it really matter that much? Being firm is fine, but picking a fight with a child for no good reason is not.

The child may lack the capacity to understand, but the mother does not. So communicating directly with the mother when he first started playing with the windows would have nipped the whole awkard conversation in the bud.

Hindsight, hey? Have a nice flight

YANBU.

If it was a very young child I might have wondered if she was trying to avoid a tantrum at the start of a long flight, but he sounds a lot older and capable of understanding how the world works. You are nicer than me, I'd have just pushed the flight attendant call button and told them the family in front were not obeying safety instructions.

HoldBack I think the mother was so appalled at her child being thwarted that OP was genuinely doubting whether she was in the right or not. I have seen threads on here where people go batshit if anyone even hints at telling off a child who is not theirs.

Did it really matter that much? Being firm is fine, but picking a fight with a child for no good reason is not.

Why was it 'no good reason'? He was interfering with something that was nothing to do with him, and at 5+ he should be taught better manners.

OP - You were very restrained!

She was being completely unreasonable, he's going to grow up into a person who is as selfish and aggressive as his mother.

Yanbu. terrible parenting from the sound of things.

YANBU

I had this with a grown woman on a train. It was York to Edinburgh so obviously filled with stunning scenery to gaze at through the window. Until the woman in the opposite row of seats decided to get up and close the curtains on her side then leaned over me to close mine!! We then went back and forth openin and closing until she snapped she was tired (it was midday) and did the journey regularly so didn't need to see the scenery.

I should add that she had 2 young DC with her who watched it all unfold. I have no doubt they're now closing shutters on planes.

No you werent being unreasonable at all. Some kids actively encourgae their kids to act like spoiked brats.

Have a 🍾🥂 and feel thankful you aren't his teacher!

Cheeky little sod is going to come a cropper with an attitude like that, it's sad some parents are like this with their kids.

Last long haul I took, two sets of parents put their 5 kids in a row next to me (so I was on the other side of the aisle, in the same row). Then both sets of parents sat 19-12 rows in front, the other side of a divider (all still in cattle class) 😳 The kids were between (👧🏼 I'm Big Now, I'm 3 and almost 10, birthday in two days time). They needed help finding things, using the headphones, opening bits of their meals, sorting out after spilling an entire cup of water, the usual kiddy crap...they weren't naughty, they were just kids. I didn't really mind, I like kids, but the Mums came once each & said things like 'Are you having a lovely time, we are, we are having champagne & chatting. I hope you are behaving. See you soon' & waltzed off again. . Beggars belief. I'd never do that.

Good for you.

YWNBU
-And I now have an Internet crush on you-

Arg strike out fail

Why does your DH think you were being unreasonable?

YWNBU. I was in the window seat of a row (I like the window seat, means I can fall asleep against the wall) on a daytime flight (and on the side away from the sun), when the one of the couple in the aisle and middle seat tried to reach over me (without even an 'excuse me') and close the shutter. I told them that I'd chosen the window seat because I liked to have it open and read my book by natural light. They gave me quite the look, but at least left it there. You don't get to control everyone's windows on a flight!

If it had been direct sunlight coming in, or a night flight, I would have closed it.

Flipping heck AnnieAnonimouse you have A LOT more patience than me!

Surely the 10 year old would have been capable of opening meals and plugging in headphones or calling cabin crew?
Did you offer to help or did they ask?

I really hate this thing where children get to dictate all kinds of stuff.

How did we get to this point? People have become so child-centred lately - it's nuts.

highinthesky

The child may lack the capacity to understand, but the mother does not. So communicating directly with the mother when he first started playing with the windows would have nipped the whole awkard conversation in the bud.

Did you read the bit where the mother is clearly useless?

Well done and bloody good for you . She was bvvu and the kid sounds just awful but then with a mamma like that what else would he be like?

Oh dear you have encountered one of "those" parents. Well handled op

I don't think you were unreasonable but I think you handled it badly.