To be a bit miffed that my BF wants to use my bridesmaid dresses for her own wedding?

[Stiffanky]

So my best friend is getting married next year and myself and another of her 3 bridesmaids has been round to her house today to do a bit of wedding planning. I had both of these girls as bridesmaids at my wedding nearly 4 years ago, plus my sister. Now my friend lives in her DP's large-ish house, he has a Porsche and another big car, his own business, and is generally reasonably comfortable financially.... which has left me baffled and slightly bemused with her asking me if they can use the same 3 bridesmaid dresses for her wedding as I had for mine in order to save money. So I'd wear my sister's dress, our mutual bridesmaid the same one she wore for mine and her other friend the one that the bride-to-be wore for mine. AIBU to be a bit put out about this? WWYD in this scenario? Acquiesce.... it's her day after all; or say no?

I wouldn't like it. Best friend or not, they were the chosen dresses for my big day, not hers. We are two different people, why not express that? But each to their own, I guess.

Oh I have just read another PP said the dresses will be unalterable, if that's the case then I actually think you should flat out refuse. You ensured you had the right dresses for your friends to wear so why should you have to wear a dress too big for you for her wedding day.
You will feel uncomfortable and frumpy all day and thats not how you had your bridesmaids feel on your day.

I wouldn't like this actually. I think those dresses now belong to your bridesmaids and it would be cheeky to ask for them back.

My sister wouldn't have an issue with it. Her dress will be too big for me but it's not the type you can get altered (two-birds). Think they come in two sizes and hers is the plus-size one.

If the dress is too big for you and can't be altered-how are you going to wear it?!!

My sister had the same style last year and got hers from The Dainty Yard on Etsy. £40 for the same dress, and honestly, they looked really well- I'll get a few pictures if you want. If you point out the alterations issues and note that it might be more straightforward and cost effective to just get everyone a new dress (in the colour she'd actually intended) it might just fly.

Rollonthesummer.... when we got married, we paid for the bridesmaids and immediate wedding party to stay the night of the wedding. All the bridesmaids paid for were their own shoes (or used what they already had) which made sense for various reasons. shes not doing the same (which is fine... appreciate it might have been a bit extravagant) but wants us to pay £300 for accommodation alone for hen weekend. The bridesmaid dresses cost me (or more accurately, my parents) about £275 each and whilst I agree that it seems a lot for them to not be worn again, I'm more than happy for my BM to sell them on or charity shop them. Which tells me I don't have an issue per se with someone else having the benefit of them. I think part of why I feel a bit miffed is that I'd probably like a dress that was specifically chosen, as part of the bridesmaid experience.... but then appreciate that makes me sound a bit precious!! I think it's just that they spend sooooo much in other areas and it does just feel a bit cheeky. Finding that hard to reconcile with my own beliefs on recycling and minimising waste... but just being honest about how I feel. I guess the main issue is whether they fit the respective BMs and if they don't then it won't work anyway.

The craic.... I will check those dresses out... her original plan was to get a cheaper version in her preferred colour so this might work. Thank you

YABU. They match and they fit presumably so one less thing to sort out. I think it's a neat idea and you should be flattered they like them so much.

Two birds dresses cost about £250 each.

Sorry OP wasn't meaning to contradict you there didn't see that you had included the cost in your most recent reply.

How would you wear it though, if it can't be altered?

It wouldn't bother me at all. As others have said it is a huge compliment. Just because they have money doesn't mean they should spend it, it's nice that they have the attitude that second hand doesn't bother them. Maybe they have money because they make sensible decisions about what they spend it on.

But if it's bothers you, tell her you'd rather not as they are special to your wedding and you want to remember them in that way.

Fwiw, my bridesmaids kept their dresses. I wouldn't have contemplated asking for them back.

Sahara.... yeah £250 but then they had a bandeau too as well so can't remember precisely but about £275, something like that. My sister's will definitely be too big for me so maybe it's a non-starter anyway.

Yep, £250 for the dress and £20 for the bandeau (recently been looking into this).

Talith the dress won't fit the OP- she has mentioned the dress she will be expected to wear is a plus size (to fit 16-22/24 I believe) and the OP is not plus size.

From recent experience with these dresses the plus size (size B) will hang off anyone below a size 18 or so.

Why do you all seem to know what a "Two Birds" dress is I'm missing something...

It sounds to me like you have less of an issue with your bridesmaid dresses being used and more disappointment that you as a bridesmaid are not going to have the same experience of choosing your specific dress with the bride. This has made you feel less special as a bridesmaid.

Voice of reason.... yeah, I think that's it. But appreciate that sounds a bit precious!

officially I think it's this.

I had to Google it

twobirdsbridesmaid.co.uk/collection/classic/

Maybe since you're saving her money on bridesmaid dresses she can pay for your hen night costs since you can't afford it easily and it's a ridiculous amount to spend.

Officially I was wearing one recently which is why I'm so familiar :)