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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I weird/a shit parent?

61 replies

DrSeuss · 20/05/2017 15:12

DS, just turned 6, went off on a joint Beaver/Cub trip today. Left just before nine, back around five, (excellent choice of destination by Akela, mega thanks to all leaders for giving up their day.) Just read a FB post by two of the other parents about fighting back tears as they left, worrying about them being OK "on their own" although how a bus full of kids and a half dozen or more adults is on your own I don't know.
So, is it weird that my first thought on hearing about the trip was, "Fantastic! I'll get loads done that day!" And I have got loads done. However, now I wonder if I shouldn't be a bit more "moved"?

OP posts:
angryladyboobs · 20/05/2017 15:14

Some aren't. Some are.

I'd be one that's worried. But DP would take the day off work so we could spend the day in bed 😂

ElspethFlashman · 20/05/2017 15:15

I suspect those parents just have kids who are a bit sensitive/wobbly/home bodies and the parents are worrying that the kids will be ok.

If you have a sociable child who's pretty comfortable away from home then you would react differently.

bojorojo · 20/05/2017 15:17

No!!! You are perfectly correct in your feelings! A great day for DC and for you. Some parents are children themselves and do not understand child development. It is great Beavers still do this and keep thanking Akela! Your DC are learning independence and parents should value this! Ignore the studidity of the others!

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 20/05/2017 15:17

Nah, you're normal.

When DS had his Yr6 leaver's assembly parents were hanging around tissues.

Some people enjoy a good cry.

KindergartenKop · 20/05/2017 15:20

I had THE BEST time as a guide. Making fires and running around unsupervised like something out of a famous five novel (We were more like 10-13yo). It was the making of me and I'd encourage my kids to take similar opportunity. Anxious parents often make anxious kids.

NavyandWhite · 20/05/2017 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EweAreHere · 20/05/2017 15:22

You are a good parent. I seriously question (silently) parents who agonize over letting their children go off an do things like this ... it's like they're afraid to let them actually grow up!

RJnomore1 · 20/05/2017 15:22

Nah you're a great parent. Your child has the confidence to go off with others, you're willing to let him take controlled risks which will aid his development so much and most important of all you aren't making the whole thing about you.

Well done.

PaleAzureofSummer · 20/05/2017 15:23

Neither of you are wrong. 6 is young so they aren't wrong, neither are you.

NavyandWhite · 20/05/2017 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OlennasWimple · 20/05/2017 15:26

If you're wrong, so am I

Teatimebear · 20/05/2017 15:27

Do their kids not go to school?

Oysterbabe · 20/05/2017 15:27

I suspect you want us to all jump in say what overprotective twits they are under the guise of questioning your own parenting. It's ok to feel anxious about leaving your children. They have allowed them to go, they aren't keeping them under lock and key. Everyone is different.

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge · 20/05/2017 15:28

I'd be the same, waving the bus off with glee and she wouldn't even look back!

JennyOnAPlate · 20/05/2017 15:28

God no, make the most of it! If cubs is anything like brownies they'll soon be off for a few nights at a time...I bloody love it!

BandeauSally · 20/05/2017 15:30

I'll be honest, my sons' first overnight camps with beavers I was a teensy bit bawling teary. It hit me out of the blue as I am really not a helicopter parent. Maybe their DC were anxious about the trip.

firawla · 20/05/2017 15:31

If it was overnight I'd understand but surely at this age they've been on school trips before, so I don't see it's a huge difference?

harderandharder2breathe · 20/05/2017 15:32

As a Brownie leader, it's not just the parents if anxious children who are worked up about letting them go! Some of the worst parents for worrying have confident, sociable children.

Considering children go to school all day everyday, I'm not sure why there's so much drama about them going on a day trip with their friends!

Smartiepants79 · 20/05/2017 15:33

I'm with you on this.

They are entitled to their feelings though but I'm not sure the over sharing on facebook is needed. A bit too 'look at me, aren't I a caring parent'.

witsender · 20/05/2017 15:33

Everyone is different. I wouldn't be ready but would be nervous, because I have a massively anxious child who would never go without a parent would find it very hard. I would worry for them, not about me.

witsender · 20/05/2017 15:34

Wouldn't be teary that should mean.

witsender · 20/05/2017 15:35

I'm a great parent to tbh, in fact I am pretty awesome. I kind of resent the implication that because I have an anxious child I must somehow be lesser of a parent.

loopyloulabelle · 20/05/2017 15:37

If you are wrong then I'm totally fucked. Ring social services now!

NavyandWhite · 20/05/2017 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJayy · 20/05/2017 15:39

I remember feeling like you when Dd1 went on her primary residential lots of mums were wailing weepy I was just happy she was going to have a nice time but i thought god should I be upset she is away? By the time dd2 was going on her brownie camps i found my grip Grin, i guess we are all different some more emotional than others but it doesn't mean it is weird not to get totes emosh