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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

would you still have this child attend the party?? Not sure what to do?!

57 replies

NoOneLikesACrispyTowel · 20/05/2017 08:34

Sons party today.

One of the parents text me at 5pm yesterday to say her daughter couldn't make it.
We extended the invite to someone else who is now coming.

The mother text me at 10pm to say that her daughter could come after all.

Now we have to go to the shop and buy another party bag and stuff because we have ended up with an extra person. And we also have to pay for the 'stand in' child to enter the soft play centre now and extra for face painting etc.

It's really pissed my husband off who told me to message her back and 'tell her tough!'

I can kinda understand where he's coming from because at 10pm changing your mind is a bit of a liberty. But from the little girls perspective (kids are aged 5-6) it's not her fault and from my sons persepective that's his friend and he wanted her to come.

WWYD.

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 20/05/2017 08:36

No right answer. If it's going to cause you stress, I would say, sorry no.

hazeyjane · 20/05/2017 08:36

I'd let her come.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 20/05/2017 08:37

But if you can accomodate easily then I'd do so.

Original poster
NoOneLikesACrispyTowel · 20/05/2017 08:37

It will cost us money we don't have an my husband will be an arse about it.

But they are only little, aren't they. (The kids I mean)

OP posts:
twocockers · 20/05/2017 08:37

Personally I'd allow them to come. They might have not wanted to come due to nerves or something but feel they can now.

Have you done your child a party bag?? Could you use that and give him something else??

Sirzy · 20/05/2017 08:38

I would let her come!

Chances are at least one child won't turn up anyway from past experience!

neonrainbow · 20/05/2017 08:38

Id say no someone else has been invited in her stead now.

Hoppinggreen · 20/05/2017 08:38

Let her come, you shouldn't punish a 5/6 year old for her mums ( frankly a bit shit) behaviour

Redhead17 · 20/05/2017 08:38

I'd let her come I always add on a few extras when booking because some people don't text they just turn up

Original poster
NoOneLikesACrispyTowel · 20/05/2017 08:38

It wasn't nerves. His her absent dad screwing them around by the sounds of it.

OP posts:
Astro55 · 20/05/2017 08:38

Your son will be at school with her for a long time -

However sounds like this child has played up and been refused the party as punishment - then been more compliant and parent caved in - she shouldn't make it your problem though

Say sorry we've filled the space

Crumbs1 · 20/05/2017 08:39

Yes, let her come

Original poster
NoOneLikesACrispyTowel · 20/05/2017 08:39

We didn't add on any extras in the first place because we are painfully broke.

We limited it to just 10 and we are barely keeping our heads above water. That's why my husband is pissed off.

OP posts:
ScissorBow · 20/05/2017 08:39

Someone always doesn't come on the day so I'd say yes but be bloody annoying at them flip flopping around.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 20/05/2017 08:40

How much money? £2 for a bag or £20 for an extra child at a party?

gamerwidow · 20/05/2017 08:40

Let her come. She's got a shot enough deal with her absent dad playing about with her emotions without having the party taken from her too.
You'll feel awful if you say no under these circumstances.

twilightcafe · 20/05/2017 08:41

Let her come. You were lucky to get a text (albeit late at night). I've had kids turn up to parties when their parents never bothered to RSVP at all.

WeeWillyWinkieFromEccles · 20/05/2017 08:41

Well your husband is a delight isn't he?!

If it was me I'd let them come. They may have spent the afternoon hastily rearranging things in order to be able to come, I guess it depends on the reason why they declined initially.

I hope your son enjoys his party Smile

Original poster
NoOneLikesACrispyTowel · 20/05/2017 08:41

That's a very good point about someone not turning up!

There's one little boy who I'm almost certain won't make it and that's a space filled then.

That's almost solved the problem thanks for pointing that out to me!

OP posts:
Original poster
NoOneLikesACrispyTowel · 20/05/2017 08:42

Well your husband is a delight isn't he?!

He's not a morning person, that's for sure. Angry

OP posts:
TonySopranosVest · 20/05/2017 08:42

Aw. Poor little girl. Let her come.

You say she has an absent (and presumably shitty) dad who is messing her mother about - why wouldn't you be charitable?

TheTurnOfTheScrew · 20/05/2017 08:42

I'd suck it up
it is VERY annoying, and you'd be well within reasonable to say no, but doing so would definitely cause drama that you probably don't need, and I'd feel mean having the kid miss out for something she's got no control over.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 20/05/2017 08:43

Just reread about absent twat dad - definitely trynto accomodate then.

gamerwidow · 20/05/2017 08:43

P.s. How well do you know the mum? If she knows how much you are struggling she might cover the cost to help you out if it means her Dd can still come. I would if it was the difference between Dd going or staying at home.

pasturesgreen · 20/05/2017 08:44

I'd be inclined to go with the truth and text 'so sorry, but we've filled the space'.

Yes, admittedly it's shit for the little girl, but if you can't afford it, you can't.