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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To use the disabled loo when I'm with my son?

999 replies

RestingBitch · 19/05/2017 17:06

My sons 9 months and obviously still in his pushchair. The majority of the time it's just me and him when I go into town/visit places. When I need the loo I get an attack of conscious, I normally use the disabled loo so I can bring him in with me.
Can't use a regular loo as I can't get him in the cubicle in his chair. Don't want to take him out of his pushchair and plonk him on the floor as the floors are manky and he will eat whatever is on the floor. He'll also probably try and crawl under the gap and interrupt someone else. Don't really like the idea of leaving him in his pushchair whilst I nip in the cubicle, so providing there isn't someone waiting for the disabled loos, AIBU to use them? I'm usually in and out and so far I've never encountered anyone waiting for one, or the impatient rattle of the door. If I am being unreasonable, short of pissing myself what's the options?

Not a troll, and don't work for any newspapers :).

OP posts:
JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 21/05/2017 20:12

Disabled toilets are there to give disabled people in this situation dignity.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 21/05/2017 20:12

Out of curiosity
What are the stats on stranger abduction in the UK?
And how many happened in or near toilets?

MaybeNextWeek · 21/05/2017 20:13

'well then maybe all of them should be changed to combined baby change/disabled facilities.'

Great solution Confused. Or how about people respect others need is greater than theirs?

Sirzy · 21/05/2017 20:13

No. Baby change should be kept separate (other than facilities suitable for disabled people to change babies obviously)

The answer to poor design isn't to make that even more common!

MisDescamisados · 21/05/2017 20:16

Actually , I've never seen a baby changing area in a large public loo, such as a motorway service station .

Should we really be pitting mothers , small children and the disabled against each other?

It's like the bus/pushchair debate .

Let's all demand better busses and lavatories , IMO

Pagwatch · 21/05/2017 20:20

MisDescmisados,

I totally get that you really really want to use two incidents that have occurred over the last two decades to try and pretend that any fear is a legitimate and proportionate fear but I think it's not really working.

Especially when you then apply a bizarre logic to suggest that anyone pretending that babies get nicked out of toilets regularly are the kind of twat that then blames mothers for child abduction.

i believe that incidents of children being abducted by strangers remains extraordinarily rare and I think people that blame parents are arseholes.

You have an entire field of straw men going on. You can't just mention notorious cases and then make stuff up to suit yourself.

Pagwatch · 21/05/2017 20:22

Disabled people campaigned for decades for space on buses and special changing areas.
If mothers think they need them then they should campaign. Disabled people did that already.

Cheepandorm · 21/05/2017 20:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeyondStrongAndStable · 21/05/2017 20:29

I would happily get behind a campaign for better parent-accessible facilities (inc buses) that do not take away from disabled people. Nobody seems to be making this campaign though.

ilovesooty · 21/05/2017 20:30

Interesting that the wheelchair / pushchair debate has been referred to. I remember someone on this thread being somewhat vocal about the perceived rights of buggies recently.

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 21/05/2017 20:32

Nobody seems to be making this campaign though.

They don't need to, why bother when you can just take facilities from others?

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 21/05/2017 20:33

I noticed tha too Ilovesooty Hmm

BeyondStrongAndStable · 21/05/2017 20:34

Disabled people are the lower in the hierarchy and had to fight for those spaces. Then parents think they look convienient, look at all those perks that disabled people are getting, we'd better muscle in.

Almost like another bathroom debate that's happening ATM

ilovesooty · 21/05/2017 20:39

hobnobs glad someone else noticed.

BeyondStrongAndStable · 21/05/2017 20:40

Ooo now I killed the thread 😬

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 21/05/2017 20:40

I think it had to be said though Beyond

MuncheysMummy · 21/05/2017 20:42

So the people who say you are being unreasonable suggest you leave baby outside the toilets on their own in the pushchair then?! Even though many would scream and wail at being left alone even if only for a few mins (I know my 10 month old son would he's just gone into his first major separation anxiety phase following a really nasty infection) you'd look like a super good parent coming out to or worse still walking away and leaving a screaming baby alone! Imagine the reaction of passers by! Ridiculous I'd never leave my son alone in public places at his age,not worth the risk no matter how small. If someone has to wait 3 mins so be it,there's no guarantee it would be free if it weren't me in there anyway! I would always use an alternative if possible but sometimes it's the only option.

Dawndonnaagain · 21/05/2017 20:43

Me too Sooty...

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 21/05/2017 20:45

here's no guarantee it would be free if it weren't me in there anyway!

Yes there is becuase you wouldn't be in there...

MaybeNextWeek · 21/05/2017 20:46

'Personally, i know the risk of abduction is low. But I'm not about to test it on the off chance. '

And that's fine. However why is the alternative to use facilities for others whose need is much greater than yours? Years of looking after small dc, being out with family friends etc all with dc and no one ever needed to use a toilet for disabled people. Ask a friend to watch your dc, go to the loo before you go shopping, if you get caught short unstrap dc and take in the cubicle it's all very doable.

Are these the same hapless people who can't shop unless there's a vacant p & c space?

Dawndonnaagain · 21/05/2017 20:46

Munchey read that back to yourself, how caring do you sound?

Northgate · 21/05/2017 20:47

Actually, Cheep, cows kill more people than sharks

curiosity.com/topics/cows-kill-more-people-than-sharks/

Although both are rare.

And as for toddlers needing a wee when there's difficulty finding suitable toilets - when my DC were at the "need a wee NOW" stage, I used to carry around a portable folding potty (ours was brand name potette IIRC, the wee went in a special inserted bag that could be disposed of in a bin). Very handy thing for toddler toilet emergencies if you can find a quiet corner in the park or wherever.

TheTartOfAsgard · 21/05/2017 20:49

Hobnobs.

www.childabduction.org.uk/images/Police_Report_2016.pdf

Kpo58 · 21/05/2017 20:56

As much as it sounds great to have the baby changing facilities in the ladies, this then does mean that fathers can no longer change their baby's nappy when out (which is even more of a problem for single fathers).

Sirzy · 21/05/2017 20:57

Or they could also put them in the gents? Or make a set baby change area? Actually has anyone even suggested only having them in the ladies?