Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To use the disabled loo when I'm with my son?

999 replies

RestingBitch · 19/05/2017 17:06

My sons 9 months and obviously still in his pushchair. The majority of the time it's just me and him when I go into town/visit places. When I need the loo I get an attack of conscious, I normally use the disabled loo so I can bring him in with me.
Can't use a regular loo as I can't get him in the cubicle in his chair. Don't want to take him out of his pushchair and plonk him on the floor as the floors are manky and he will eat whatever is on the floor. He'll also probably try and crawl under the gap and interrupt someone else. Don't really like the idea of leaving him in his pushchair whilst I nip in the cubicle, so providing there isn't someone waiting for the disabled loos, AIBU to use them? I'm usually in and out and so far I've never encountered anyone waiting for one, or the impatient rattle of the door. If I am being unreasonable, short of pissing myself what's the options?

Not a troll, and don't work for any newspapers :).

OP posts:
Sirzy · 19/05/2017 20:46

Debenhams are normally very good for family facilities I have found.

OvO · 19/05/2017 20:47

It's really easy.

If you give a fuck about other people and that your actions can and do have a negative affect on others then don't use the disabled toilet.

If you only care about what makes life easier for you then carry on.

hazeyjane · 19/05/2017 20:49

Look, if you post an AIBU, you will get both responses - YA and YAN....and, especially on this topic, things will get heated.

The thing is, in reality your little boy will get bigger and you suddenly won't find yourself in this dilemma. Or you will have another and carry on using the accessible loos (and angst about it, but shrug and carry on) or decide not to and faff about for another short while.

But people who can only use those accessible loos, will be carrying on using them, it is a bigger issue, because it really makes a huge difference (I can only say this as the mum if a disabled older child - I wouldn't speak for someone who is disabled themselves).

Maybe toilets were different when my dds were younger, but we just would all squeeze in the loo (one on the mat on the floor, one or 2 on my lap or standing) or wodge the buggy in the end cubicle. As I say it as a faff, but a short lived faff.

Original poster
RestingBitch · 19/05/2017 21:09

Ghosty. And the numerous other people who are complaining I've 'fucked off', I've gone nowhere. I've posted, I've put the baby to bed and done my shopping then I've come back. Didn't realise I had to respond within a specific time window Hmm

Can confirm never breastfed in a disabled toilet, nor used it for suitcase storage.

It's not a case of being precious about the buggy. It's about having a safe option for my baby. I can't realistically take him into the cubicle. Firstly there isn't the space, secondly he won't sit on the floor without trying to shuffle of. I can just imagine him trying to chomp down on the sanitary bin Confused.

OP posts:
CazY777 · 19/05/2017 21:10

Surely an accessible toilet is there for all who need it, people with disabilities and people with young children. I have nipped into an accessible toilet with my pram and had a quick wee, takes 2 minutes. Never have I come out to find a queue of pissed off people with disabilities, mostly if there's anyone waiting it's just another mum wanting to use the baby change. If there was someone with a disabilities who needed it then I would wait of course or go in the ladies and leave my daughter outside the cubical to scream (a least I know she's still there).
But I would never park in a disabled space so please don't generalise.

OvO · 19/05/2017 21:14

Of course you can take him in. It's just not easy for you.

So 5 minutes of faffing for you and not causing difficulty for a disabled person vs no faffing but possibly making life a bit harder for someone else that doesn't have any other choices.

hazeyjane · 19/05/2017 21:14

Well in that case carry on using the accessible toilet. I'm not sure what the point if starting the thread was, if you feel ok with using the loo, then crack on.

I think people were thinking you'd fucked off because there have been a lot of these threads over the years, and sometimes (hard to believe, I know) people start them to wind people up, poke people with a stick and then watch them getting upset.

Fitzsimmons · 19/05/2017 21:20

YANBU

Most of the public loos by me have recently been taken over and refurbished by a private company. They've installed turnstiles with a charge on the doors. I can't get my buggy through the very small turnstile and I can't carry my baby, and help my toddler use the loo at the same time. So I wrote to the council to complain and their response was that I should use the accessible loo instead they has a coin slot on the door rather than a turnstile. Most disabled loos round here have a baby changing unit in them and are dual use.

kali110 · 19/05/2017 21:20

You've hD a baby, you're not disabled.
Your child will grow up, some people will have disabilities the rest of their lives.

kali110 · 19/05/2017 21:21

*Of course you can take him in. It's just not easy for you.

So 5 minutes of faffing for you and not causing difficulty for a disabled person vs no faffing but possibly making life a bit harder for someone else that doesn't have any other choices.*
This.

CazY777 · 19/05/2017 21:29

So, if someone who has a disability, but is able to use the regular toilets, chooses to use the accessible loo because they're usually cleaner, is that better or worse than a mother with a pram!!?

SynysterGates · 19/05/2017 21:32

Hazey we k ow why, people start these threads to goad.
There is no other reason,

hazeyjane · 19/05/2017 21:34

You asked for options, people gave you options, you don't like them. You won't have to worry about it in a few months time, so like most other people, don't worry about anyone else

Dawndonnaagain · 19/05/2017 21:35

Another straw man Caz.

Staypuff · 19/05/2017 21:47

I use the accessible loos if they have the baby change in to change dc, thankfully though it seems a few of the superstores here now have separate changing facilities with loos built in. Otherwise I try and rush. I used to use the loos on occasion when incontinent and I had to quite honestly leg it to the nearest bathroom- that is now contained by the pads if I don't make it so I have more time.

A sling is pretty good or a carrier for anyone using normal loos. I've looed many a time outside and inside my own house with dc in it. Makes you hands free.

divadee · 19/05/2017 21:48

I have used the disabled toilet a lot recently as that seems to be where the baby changing facilities are. There are none in the women's toilet. And after I have changed my baby i may have had a wee as well. Are people expected to change the baby and then go to the women's toilets to go themselves?

If shops etc.... don't want mum's using the disabled toilets they need to put the changing tables in the main toilets surely?

JustMarriedBecca · 19/05/2017 21:50

Cripes on a bike. I've used them when I have too many shopping bags for a single toilet nevermind with a baby who needs more space in a regular bathroom. I've never ever seen a disabled person waiting when I come out so will continue to do so.
Judgement call then and there I think.

twelly · 19/05/2017 21:51

Given the toilets are for people with access issues or needing space surely they are for anyone who needs this that includes those with a wheelchair and disability who needs this and those with a pushchair or pram.

OvO · 19/05/2017 21:53

No.

SynysterGates · 19/05/2017 21:58

Happy op
Now you ahve some arse gloating that they use them when they have too much shopping
I mean wtf

Lostlight · 19/05/2017 22:00

Please spend the day with someone who needs these toilets and stop being so selfish.
There is no excuse whatsoever for able bodied people to use the limited amount of these facilities. They are for those who need them. You don't.
You really don't.

They are not for you.

hazeyjane · 19/05/2017 22:01

Do you know, twelly, you're right. People with prams, people with shopping trolleys, lots of bags, suitcases, big sombreros, clown shoes, really wide hips, people wearing very wide chaps, those really big shoulder pads from the 80s.....all these things prevent access......

TrueColors · 19/05/2017 22:02

It's always fun when recent name changers post goady threads and don't return.

chicken2015 · 19/05/2017 22:03

Where should people go if they r out on own?

umizoomi · 19/05/2017 22:03

I don't think YABU. But loads of people (as you have read) will. I always wonder on these threads with people saying 'I have a hidden disability and when I need to go I need to go'. That's fine, those toilets are of course for you. What happens if you are in Tesco or where ever and a person in a wheelchair is in there? Surely that is no different to a person with a pram being in there. The fact is someone is in there and you can't go right away!

At any point in time there are people who need the accessible toilet (disabled or otherwise).

I am still amazed that all modern shopping centres don't have wider cubicles to accommodate a pram or all mother and baby rooms don't have toilets

Swipe left for the next trending thread