Paying for smashed TV

[Lovelilies]

Help quick!
Bit of a dilemma. DS (3.5) playing at friend's house this morning with her DS also 3. I live 2 doors down and had just nipped home for something. The TV got smashed. The Mum says she saw my DS throw a toy plane at the TV.
Background, their TV got smashed last week when the 2 boys were alone in their lounge, it was assumed the other boy did it as he has 'form' for breaking things. My DS likes to play with him. He's pretty non verbal so have to go by what my DS says.
Now I wasn't there when it happened this time. My DS says the other boy did it. I do realise he's 3, and may tell fibs. I don't really think my DS did it, but like I say I wasn't here and the other Mum says she saw it.
So I have given her £230 (what she thought he TV cost).
Now her dick head partner is kicking off saying it cost £320 and I need to give them more money..
help!!

Something's definitely not adding up here.

My three year old wee on our telly when they were the old fashion box type .

@muckypup73 My excuse? I don't have an excuse. I am on the spectrum though. Therefore I've been a child on the spectrum. I've also worked with children on the spectrum and know many people on the spectrum. It's very common is it? You've surveyed all of the children on the spectrum?

Treasures, I think you need to sort your attitude out to be quite frank, your coming across as rather aggressive, and Yes my partner is on the spectrum and I have 4 children on the spectrum and I also work with children on the spectrum, so yes I am qualified enough to say.

Actually muckypup you generalised an entire group of people with your sweeping statement. I'd have thought that as the parent of kids on the spectrum (like me) and also having a partner on the spectrum you'd have known that sweeping generalisations are by far the most damaging misconceptions our children face, and therefore would know better.

Don't give her any more money please!! It was an accident you don't really know who did it. She should of had insurance or been supervising them.

Id make sure you have proof that you paid what you have because by the sounds of things, they might try to take things further. at least if you've proved you have contributed it shows that you have made an effort. You see so many people going to court for damages and say they haven't received anything. Get yourself backed up and protected incase things turn sour.

What I said was,(If the friends child is non verbal, he could be on the spectrum and children on the spectrum love throwing things. Also even if not the spectrum being non verbal means being frustrated which could explain the throwing.) Then I said (Treasures, ok some children on the spectrum throw things, its very common, so no not idiotic, perhaps bad choice of wording, )

Of course not all children on the spectrum throw things, hence why I said bad choice of wording, what i should have said some children on the sprectrum throw things, whilst some are incredibley violent, why some are extremley ooposite, besides which the child may not even be on the spectrum anyway, he could be totally frustrated because he cant talk.

@muckypup73 then maybe a better, more factual statement might have been "some children throw things". There was no need to use the word 'spectrum' in there at all. Like @SaorAlbaGuBrath said, sweeping generalisations like the one you made earlier are damaging. If I come across as aggressive, I apologise. I'm just pissed off with people stating ridiculous things about ASD people as if they are fact. It happens everywhere. You have children on the spectrum. It is them and people like them that I fight for. If this makes you think I have a bad attitude, so be it.

It was the lack of the word "some" that I was pointing out. I also can't be arsed when autism is brought up on every thread when a kid acts out with no apparent underlying causes, as if all kids on the spectrum are unable to ever control themselves. It's yet another damaging stereotype and the fact it's perpetuated by people who should know better really angers me.

Treasures, why is it ricidicolous? there are a lot of children on the spectrum who when they have a meltdown throw things, I have one myself that is a thrower. And why mention the spectrum? because the child is 3 and non verbal he could be on the spectrum then he could not, which It was I said.

SaorAlbaGuBrath, that was I went on to say my wording was wrong.

And yet you're still arguing, despite the fact that you made the original statement which caused offence.

Mucky I appreciate you changed your wording.

It is ridiculous to state something as if it is a fact about a whole group of people, when it is only a fact about some of the people in that group. That's what I meant.
I just think parents of autistic children should have a think about any negative stereotypes they might be perpetuating in the wider society about their own children. People read a comment like "children on the spectrum love throwing things" and if they don't know any autistic children, may reasonably assume it to be a fact about all autistic children.
There are a lot of autistic adults out there who will try to change this type of narrative every time they see it. They do this so that YOUR children on the spectrum can hopefully grow up in a more accepting society.

SaorAlbaGuBrath, so what you are saying is the 3 year old non verbal child could not be on the spectrum?

He might not be on the spectrum at all I know a 4 yr old who didn't speak until they were 3. Then it all came tumbling out and he hasnt stopped talking since 😀

I also know kids on the spectrum who do not throw things around but also kids not on the spectrum who do so at the drop of a hat. Generalizing doesn't help at all

Yes and thats exactly that I said, he maybe on the spectrum he maybe not and no I do not want to trivialise the spectrum and meltdowns ect, sometimes I have a way with words, they come tumbling out before I have the chance to think about them and I cannot help it.

muckypup73 no I'm not saying that at all. I have no idea why the 3 year old is non verbal, there are a whole raft of reasons why the wee one could be non verbal.

Willow spot on!