We already have 5 kids, I want 6, he doesn't.

[INeedAGinOrTen]

Aibu? I would love another child. We already have a larger than average family having 5 children but my maternal body clock is ticking away loudly and I would absolutely love another. We have all girls. Hubby thinks I'm mental, that we have our hands more than full enough already. Aibu to feel really angry at him and like I have no choice. We are financially ok, have a good lifestyle and don't really go without so affordability isn't in question. We do have children with SEN so life can be hard work and quite hectic but we seem to do well with that. I know everyone will say I should just be happy with the family I have and I know that, if I could turn it off I would but I can't help how I feel.

LTB

😁😬😀

NB. I have only got 2 kittens and the cats are still with us!

OP, I don't want to jump on the band wagon, as you have been so gracious!

I just want to say that there are too many people on the planet- way too many. We are a huge burden and a threat to all other life forms. I think that, like all animals, we have a very strong instinct to reproduce, so it is natural to want lots of children. I guess we evolved to have this instinct because, without modern medicine, we would need lots of kids just to replace ourselves, as most of the kids would die in infancy.

As the world is now, our instincts are not keeping up with the reality of modern medicine and food production.

It isn't about what you want. It is about what is good for your current children and the child you bring into the world.
Do you have the time for it? Does a particular child need more attention? Do you have savings for an emergency?
If your DH doesn't want one it is rather risky.
You don't sound selfish but you seem to be thinking of your own feelings rather than that if your 5 kids and DH.
What do your children think? Will the older ones get landed with bringing up the little ones?

You're not unreasonable to feel a bit sad about it but your dh has said no so decision made. Enjoy the 5 you have.

It's not just up to the DH to make a decision though is it? That makes it sound like he has the final say but it should be a discussion and then a joint decision.

It was the other way round for me PitilessYank

friendless I think that not wanting a child trumps wanting one, and given that they have 5 already, I think that applies even more.

LaLegue YABU not to have read the full thread before posting and for being so damn rude. What possible reason do you have to suspect the OP would sabotage birth control?? That is incredibly insulting and unwarranted, as is your harshness.

The person who doesn't want more DC gets to decide.

YABU to be angry with him.

I have friends who went for 'just one more' and it was triplets

Wow LaLegue I'm glad I don't know you IRL, what on earth have I said that could possibly make you assume that I would do something so controlling as sabotage or lie about birth control.i came here for some honest advice, knowing already deep down that I was being selfish. Maybe you should RTFT in future before spouting of spite. It's not kind or helpful. Thank you to everyone else who actually gave useful advice.

Agree I was out of line about the trust comment, my apologies. I think I've just read one too many threads lately where women think it's their god given right to decide to conceive has said they don't want to, and to justify getting pregnant on purpose without his consent or knowledge.

I do genuinely feel that six children is just too many though, regardless of your circumstances but especially when you already have children with SNs. I won't apologise for that part - it's opinion you wanted so opinion you got.

I've only got two. I'd love a third one but recently admitted to DH that we've probably reached our limit financially.

He gave me a look and said "I've reached my limit emotionally"

You don't need to apologise for that part. 5 and 6 children is a lot. It was selfish of me and I conceded that almost 5 minutes after writing the post.

We have stopped at 2 - would love more and totally understand that biological drive - but there are only 24 hours in a day and the children I have need more of me than I can give in that. Add in the financial pressures of school trips, extra tutoring and extra curricular lessons etc, places we want to visit and experiences we want to share with them. On a normal struggling family budget it's just not doable.

Interesting you mentioned they are all girls. Are girls not good enough?
Why not look into sponsoring a child?

"He gave me a look and said "I've reached my limit emotionally"

I think this ^^ is a very valid point that many people overlook.

Yes this ^ emotional limit hit here!