To punish for low grade at school? (Year 3)

[jumildreen]

Just wondering if it would be okay. DS didn't do well in his spellings at all we have been working hard on them at home but I feel he isn't trying hard enough with them at school.

WIBU to punish because of this?

Poor kid. I remember the girl at primary school who always got top in spellings. She had what I could only call a breakdown one Friday because she had got 19/20 instead of her usual 20/20 and she knew her mum would go mad at her. Who the fuck needs that aged 7 or a fucking spelling test. Get a life OP. Take him out for ice cream and pretend the test never happened. (Suspect this advice is too late, so again, poor kid.)

Punishment is only appropriate (and then in moderation) for deliberate acts of wickedness. Are you seriously thinking he should be punished?

Must be a wind up, sounds awful, chill time, usually top etc.

Hideous. sorry. I would never ever ever punish child for not doing well. Hideous.

This can't be real.

YABVU? He's 7, he's had a bad week at spelling, normally he's top and you want to punish him! Poor lad. I'm all for encouraging learning and always made sure my DS did everything he needed to, but if you carry on like this, by the time he's 11, if you're not careful he will have turned off learning or become so stressed and fearful of failing he will be miserable.

Do you seriously schedule in chill time for a 7 year old? Is his schedule so packed that this is necessary? By all means encourage academic achievement but let him be a kid. Please.

Isn't it amazing the picture you can get of a child's family life in just a few short posts..........

Please do not punish him for this! It will not help.

BTW op spellings are hard work to some DC like Me, I am still a useless speller.

My DD however only has to glance at them and gets them immediately. You cant punish him if his brain cant compute spellings in the same way.

You are a prize prat, and yes, YABU. Punishment is no longer the order of the day (hasn't been for quite some years) - motivation is the way out of the dark satanic mills.

YABU

bertrand . Sadly you are so right! Assuming this is genuine.

YABVU, punishment does not work to improve learning. It could be that you are demotivating your child.

What praise or rewards do you use?

Sorry but of course it is real?

If you want to improve his spelling, encourage him to read and cut down on the screen time. The more he sees words, the more familiar their correct spelling will become to him and this is much more fun than revision time. We don't have any computer games in the house (kids are not bothered, which I know makes us unusual) and I don't allow TV through the week. I filled the house with books and I tell them to read if they complain they are bored. It has worked for us. But please don't punish him, he is only seven. He will get there.

Yabu - FFS

You could I guess, if you want him to begin to fear and resent his education at the ripe old age of 7/8.

Punishing any child for doing less well than usual in a test is harsh and unnecessary and will not in any way make them keen to learn. Nothing wrong with having a look at his mistakes and supporting him to learn them. Supported learning is what is needed, not punishing for failure. Punishment is how to put a child off learning for ever.

Well he is normally top for spelling and he wasn't last week.

If it's a 'one off', then simply say 'That's too bad about your spelling. I'm sure you'll work very hard this week to bring your grade back up'.

If it's beginning to be a trend, then it depends on the child. Some children respond well to rewards. Some do not. Some respond better to losing privileges if they are not doing homework/revising as they should be. You know your own child.

He didn't do good

He didn't do well. You appear to need some grammar revision. Shall we ask your dh to take away your 'chill time'?

YADBU!
This is how cheating develops. If you punish him for getting a low grade, then to avoid your punishment and get a higher grade the best option for a year 3 would be to have a look at his friend's! And who knows how far that could escalate?

YABVVVVVVU
You say he's top sets,that he normally does well and he worked hard. He has one off day/week and you want to punish him? Get a grip and leave the kid be. Going this way will either make him hate learning or a neurotic mess. Neither a desirable outcome.

what???? really??? My daughter is year 3 and still has some of most unusual spellings of words Ive ever seen! Why would you do this? I am genuinely asking I cant conceive of a time that I would force her to learn at home all week and then express such disappointment in her. DS is brilliant at spelling, so its clearly not her "thing" just yet. AS pp have said - try really lots, let him read lots to you, and chill out about - surely how old can be? 7 -maybe 8 at the oldest ?

reward for doing well, rather than punish for doing badly!

Has he tried his best? If yes, YABVVVU to punish him. The best effort is the most you can do. Why would you punish because another child is better.

An off day happens to everyone, if you punish rather than support you are setting him up for a lifetime of not trying if he doesn't think he's good enough.