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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holy fuck - I've just WON ......

93 replies

BorisTrumpsHair · 18/05/2017 14:08

.... some Tesco Clubcard points. Yay me Angry

"Scan your Clubcard to WIN Tesco Clubcard points" the fucking machine tells me every bloody time I buy milk.

And every time I think back to the machine "no I haven't fucking WON anything".

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I know IANBU to think Tesco are dicks for repeating this over and over. But nevertheless IABU for letting a machine get on my tits like this.

Tesco YABVVVVVU - please stop this dickish behaviour immediatly.

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 18/05/2017 15:27

Death

I cant take credit, its from Red Dwarf but it is my favourite description for people who do things like that!

Teabagtits · 18/05/2017 15:37

I never win anything. I was considering starting a post to ask if anyone ever wins the mumsnet competitions. I know they list winners but it's never anyone I see post regularly or know from here....

user1480267413 · 18/05/2017 15:46

Swearer of the year award? ..................?

Original poster
BorisTrumpsHair · 18/05/2017 15:53

teabagtits we can for that here - I'll start because I have won things on MN.

I won Innocent Smoothies DD's nursery & us at home and a tshirt.
I won £150 in vouchers of my choice (Boots & IKEA) for a survey last year - that was nice.
I've had a couple of books.

Never a holiday though - I'd love to win a holiday, or a car like Pyong - that would be fab.

OP posts:
intergalacticbrexitdisco · 18/05/2017 15:54

I hate the way it announces: "All of your Tesco points ADD UP!"

As opposed to what, exactly, machine??

Original poster
BorisTrumpsHair · 18/05/2017 16:21

Pointless "username" of the year award?

OP posts:
Enb76 · 18/05/2017 16:37

I apparently won something from Mumsnet to do with Poetry, a Michael Rosen poster or something - they never sent it to me though (Daily Mail sad face).

I annoy customers by letting my child do all the scanning and pressing of buttons on those self-service machines. She lov s them and I hate them.

HazelBite · 18/05/2017 16:42

I unexpectedly won a hundred pound gift voucher (of my choice) from Mumsnet (for taking part in a survey, random name out of the hat).
I spent it all on shoes!!!

PedantHere · 18/05/2017 16:53

BorisTrumpsHair

At the bottom of the screen in the middle there's a volume button.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 18/05/2017 17:06

I won a bag of carrots on the lidl scratch cards lol

Isthiscorrect · 18/05/2017 17:25

I won a mumsnet competition. It was for pink lady apples. Rises included a T shirt, hat, tray of apples, pink champagne, pink ice bucket. It was a surprise.
As for other prizes I won flights to London (from the Middle East where I live) with 5 nights at the Savoy. Over the years loads of other stuff. Got to be in it to win it as they say.

MycatsaPirate · 18/05/2017 17:30

Please bag your item - I have. But it's a small box of paracetamol, it weighs fuck all.

Then you try to remove it and drop it back in forcefully and it says you haven't scanned anything.

At which point I end up arguing with the bloody machine. Which is pointless as it's a machine.

Anyway, I have won £300 Love to Shop vouchers on here, I got the free bin bags (total life changers) and a couple of books.

Away from here I got a £5 in a bag of crisps about 20 years ago.

I also won Bobby Ball's signed braces at a summer fete when I was about 9. I have no idea what happened to them though. I met him years later when working at a service station on the M62. He came in with his wife and they were both so, so lovely.

Shitalopram · 18/05/2017 17:52

I always think the woman who says "Have you swiped your Nectar card?" sounds like a kindly nurse asking if a child has wiped their bottom

tygr · 18/05/2017 17:56

It's earn but it does sound a bit like win, I've noticed.

PyongyangKipperbang · 18/05/2017 17:58

I won a £100 amazon voucher from MN when I first started doing surveys. I hadnt received a notification email from MN though so when the email from Amazon came through and said "Do not delete, you have been sent a gift voucher" obviously I deleted it as I assumed it was a scam!

Something, I dont know what, made me go back to it, copy and paste the reference number and put it into my account and lo and behold I had £100! Spent it on a kindle which at the time was £100+

The car was a prize draw from Mecca, I got an email because I was a member when I went with GMother IL, entered and whallop.....won a Fiat 500! Chuffed doesnt begin to cover it :o

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 18/05/2017 18:58

Best I've ever won was a cooking holiday to Crete. Full board included cooking lessons and was fab.

walchesterweasel · 18/05/2017 19:46

My pet self checkout hate is The Voice saying ' Choose your item (ie bananas / doughnuts ) or Have a Browse

Browse ?! I've gone to that icon of hope over experience in the hope it will be quicker , not have a browse. Browse what anyway ?

whirlycurly · 18/05/2017 21:16

We also laughed at the ikea machine. Then we were picked for the random bag audit and the ikea lady asked jokingly "what have you pinched then?".

Eventually we got home and realised we actually had accidentally nicked half an office chair Shock

whirlycurly · 18/05/2017 21:18

And I find the m&s sparks lady quite aggressive tbh.

TheDonald · 18/05/2017 21:28

I get my kicks from changing the M&S lady to Welsh. I don't live in Wales.

DD tells me off when she's with me because she thinks it's embarrassing, but I'm too scared to punch cakes or rearrange herb jars, so it's my little bit of rebellion.

BarbaraofSeville · 18/05/2017 21:31

Waves to fellow Ikea tea leaf whirly, except that we once stole an entire chair. It was going through a proper till and I knew the assistant hadn't scanned all the boxes.

I told him about three times that we had only paid for one chair but had bought two, but he wasn't listening to me as he was chatting to his mate on the next till, so after that, I thought 'fuck it, our entire house is furnished by Ikea, we've spent thousands in this place, if they can't be arsed to take all the money, they can do without £30 for a chair'.

DandelionAndBedrock · 18/05/2017 21:53

Public Service Announcement re: M&S Food Self Scans

Not only can you turn the volume down on them, but if you swipe your sparks card (I know, I know - this is the only thing I use it for!) it remembers your volume preference and automatically shushes the machine next time you swipe your card. The feeling of power is incredible.

Also you feel like a superhero when you can tell the person swearing and weeping at the till next to you how they can make it all stop.

Wafflenose · 18/05/2017 21:55

Yes, Boris, it was one of those new shiny fivers, neatly folded up in a tiny plastic baggie, complete with piece of card proclaiming 'Here's your £5'. I'm feeling a bit possessive of this particular special fiver, and have hidden it from DH and the DCs. I'm going to buy something I want to buy!

MadisonAvenue · 18/05/2017 21:56

I'm in Tesco around three times each week and I've never heard it as win, always earn.

BarbaraofSeville · 18/05/2017 21:59

Dandelion. I think I love you just a little bit.

I have M&S discount vouchers and some Sparks offers that are almost worthwhile (20% off bacon, takeaway style deal for a fiver) so I was going to go soon - I only really go there when there's a deal on.

If I manage to succeed, I promise to pass it on to the next person I see driven mad by shreeky woman demanding the scanning of a Sparks card.