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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I in the wrong?!

37 replies

Supermagicsmile · 17/05/2017 22:22

Don't want to give too much away as it will out me. I am one of the head's of a department at work. I met with another department to get some input on things we need to do before data transfer and was planning to cascade this information to my team on Friday morning at our weekly meeting.
One of the ladies who works in my team found out I had this meeting without her (she deals with the data everyday but is not head of the department) and was not happy. I explained that I was going to share the information on Friday and she said that she wants to hear it direct from the department and will find them herself to ask.
At the time all I could think about was how I had upset her but having talked it through with my dp, it's been pointed out that actually what she said was rude to me as she clearly doesn't trust me to pass on the information.
I felt I acted appropriately as i have overall responsibility for all data and transfers and am still planning to share with the whole team Friday.
AIBU? Been worrying about it all evening as she can be a piece of work if you get on the wrong side of her.

OP posts:

PeaFaceMcgee · 17/05/2017 22:26

Haha at the term 'cascade'

But, yanbu - she sounds odd.

Leavesandburies · 17/05/2017 22:29

I also laughed a little at 'cascade', sorry!

I'm sure you made s perfectly decent call on the appropriate way to handle the situation. And even if not, it was still your call as the manager. If she wants to run around doubling up on efforts that's her problem.

DrowningSeas · 17/05/2017 22:29

You are head of department?

Put her back in her box.

sonlypuppyfat · 17/05/2017 22:31

I'm so glad I don't work in an office, what are you on about

Original poster

Supermagicsmile · 17/05/2017 22:31

Sorry It sounded twatty when I read it back it's a term our CEOs insist we use.

OP posts:

wasonthelist · 17/05/2017 22:32

Slightly off topic but what on earth is data transfer in this context? It doesn't make any sense.

Original poster

Supermagicsmile · 17/05/2017 22:35

If you knew what I did it would ;) but then anyone who knows me would recognize it as it's quite specialized.

OP posts:

BumpGoesBumpety · 17/05/2017 22:37

Is it something that she'll be doing and might have questions about / will bring new issues / considerations to the table. I have a a very specific job at work and hate it when my boss makes decisions because by the time I've found out and have raised concerns, work is pushed back a few weeks but could have been dealt with more effectively if I had been included.

wasonthelist · 17/05/2017 22:38

Ok, but it doesn't make any sense in its current form.

Leavesandburies · 17/05/2017 22:45

What's not to understand! You don't need to know what data transfer mean to understand. Read 'data transfer' as 'random project' and it's pretty clear.

Original poster

Supermagicsmile · 18/05/2017 00:11

Thank you leaves :)

OP posts:

MooMooCat · 18/05/2017 00:13

at cascade
Yanbu

5OBalesofHay · 18/05/2017 00:15

Tell the woman to do as she has been told, on account of you being the gaffer who makes the decisions

flumpybear · 18/05/2017 00:22

Yanbu - you're the head, you've been to a meeting to make decisions at that level, you then cascade to the team - not everyone can go to the meeting, as head you're representing your team .... not her ....

Chloe84 · 18/05/2017 00:23

Don't get all the sniggering at 'cascade'. It's standard office jargon.

OP, I would never question or doubt the information given to me by the head of our team, unless I knew differently. That would lead to a breakdown in our relationship. She doesn't respect your authority. I think you need to send her an email telling her she will receive the information when you've considered how it relates to the team.

kali110 · 18/05/2017 00:26

I also don't understand the joke about cascade.
We used that term a lot in retail.
You were not in the wrong to me.
Does she have a problem with you being in charge?

FeralBeryl · 18/05/2017 00:26

If you genuinely don't think she needs to be there and won't ask any pertinent questions that you may not be aware of, tell her firmly that you appreciate her kind offer but her attendance isn't required at the meeting and she will be briefed as planned.

However.... if there is even a tiny chance that she will pick up on something you may miss, I'd take her. She will gloat unmercifully in a ' well if I was there I'd have mentioned this problem before the transfer' etc

Either way, if you are her superior - do NOT let her bully you into a decision. If she is a nasty piece of work if you get on her bad side - deal with it! Involve HR if necessary, if she's happy to treat her boss badly-think what she'll do to junior staff in your absence.

SparklyLeprechaun · 18/05/2017 00:31

Whilst you didn't do anything wrong as such, it would have been better if you involved her early on, since it's her area of expertise, if I understand you correctly,or at least informed her before you "cascade" it to the team. I'm not at all surprised she's upset. She is also rude for going to the other department before talking to you.

caroldecker · 18/05/2017 00:39

Agree you were a bit U. I have a team and there are certain things they know in much more detail than me and i would be foolish not to include them in the discussion and not just because I could get them to do the cascade presentation, thus freeing up my time.
I have also suffered from seniors agreeing something without going through the oddities/detail that need ironing out prior to the project launch.

PyongyangKipperbang · 18/05/2017 00:43

If you are her superior then she has no place in demanding anything! You, as HOD, have made the decision and whether she likes it or not she must accept that.

I think its time you pulled rank as she is clearly thinking that she is at the very least the same level as you if not above you.

BandeauSally · 18/05/2017 00:44

Also baffled at the sniggering, cascade is a pretty commonly used word in this context.

SparklyLeprechaun · 18/05/2017 00:47

Yes, cascading is appropriate in the context. Just a bit over the top and managerial-speak for a mn post.

BandeauSally · 18/05/2017 00:54

She had her work head on, I think we can forgive it

TexasPete · 18/05/2017 00:54

Will you be touching base offline when you cascade?

Just blue sky it. Don't let the grass grow too long on this one. Run it up the flagpole. Square the circle.

I fucking love management speak.

WellThatSucks · 18/05/2017 00:57

I'm a bit on the fence here, I don't condone the snippy attitude but I kinda get why she'd be a bit concerned. If there were to be a major procedural or system change to something in my office that would affect the team member mainly responsible for performing that aspect of the workload, as exec admin, I would either invite that team member to attend the other dept. meeting with me or at least consult them prior to the meeting to get their input so I could raise any questions they might have that might not occur to me. Thing is the person who does a job day in day out often has a far better awareness of that area than anyone else (no matter how senior they may be) and certain questions would arise for them that wouldn't for someone else who doesn't do that job all the time.

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