Do you think being a mothers is the hardest job in the world?

[brasty]

Do you think being a mother is the hardest job in the world?

No

It's not a job and like a father it is a state of being. My job is lawyer. The fact I look after children as for most parents of any gender is nothing to do with a job of work.

no

Yes. But it's also the best.

It depends on your life situation and also, the kind of mothering you were given as a child.

For me, it has been very hard but also, very rewarding. And compared to my paid job, being a mother is a lovely, especially when they are a bit older.

What makes mothering difficult is when it's just a team of you and the kids, and no husband or family support around. Imagine any job where you don't have a team, you can't do everything yourself!

I wouldn't call it an easy job, but in perspective, it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

I found the first 9 months or so harder, more stressful and more tiring than when I was a corporate lawyer regularly pulling all nighters.

Now I find my 2 year old pretty pleasant to hang out with but I still feel the weight of responsibility quite draining.

Yes. I find it considerably harder than my job, which is usually thought of a a difficult and stressful job. I dislike my job as a mother but can't quit. Which makes it much harder I think.

No, absolutely not!

No, but disabilities and poverty and SEN and divorces and bereavements and a whole load of other things can make motherhood extremely challenging.

Janet - if being a mother is a state of being and not a job (I think it is both), surely DC whose mothers neglect them do not suffer any ill effects?

No.

I think it is the hardest relationship in the world in some ways. I was never fully prepared for how tough it is emotionally (who can be?). I thought it would get easier, but now they are teens it gets harder. Just the worrying about them and having to help them through difficult situations, watch them hurting but not being in the position to protect them from it. For me that is the hardest thing ever.

I have two with special needs who were much more challenging when they were younger. We have had to deal with a hell of a lot of challenges, grief, MH issues etc but no, I still wouldn't class it as the hardest job in the world.

I don't view it as a job though. It is a lifestyle choice for sure. A relationship.

We're not the first and we're not the last mothers on earth. People have managed to have babies and be mother

I suspect I would have found my day to day life much harder had I not been able to have children. That, for me, would have been the harder cross to bear.

If a mother neglects a child and the person caring for the child like the father, granny or nursery does not then the child indeed does not suffer for that. It is the stance that only mother will do, mother is God, the only one com,petent to wipe the bottoms which does women down so much holds us back and ultimately damages our children. It is woman as saint - the husband who never lifts a finger and in sexist fashio says I could never do what she does whilst lumbering her with everything. It is not some saint like martyr role that only women can do.

No, it's not a job. And I do have a child with special needs.
Being a working parent can be tough though, depending on the job, the hours, the level of support, etc.

It's not a job per se because you don;t get paid, but parenting is far harder than any paid job I have had.

No, otherwise the human race would have died out years ago or be far less wide spread.

And the person caring for the child is not doing a job?

The bit where you push them out and raise them, no. That bit's quite good.

The bit where everyone treats you like shit forever, that bit sucks.

I think it depends on the circumstances and personality of the mother and child. Someone really well suited to motherhood with an 'easy' child and comfortable circumstances isn't going to find it to be the hardest job in the world.

Someone who is not as suited to motherhood or who has a profoundly disabled child or just a very demanding/needy child or very difficult living conditions is obviously going to find it harder. Combine all those things and I reckon it could be up there as one of the hardest jobs in the world.

I have 4 DC and at the moment I think I would much prefer to be in a financial position to be able to work and pay someone to look after them for some of the time.

Honestly, it's bloody exhausting.

If it's a job, then do I work for my DC?

If I do, I'm gong to take them to a tribunal, as I so have a case. Hours are ridiculous with no breaks.

Scooby I'm afraid I completely disagree that big projects, huge amounts of money etc represent greater responsibility than raising a child. I have some experience of this and honestly, at the end of the day it's just money. In the vast, vast majority of job roles, nobody will die if a project isn't delivered on time. I loved my job and I was bloody good at it, but I didn't live for it. I still had perspective and didn't lose sight of what really mattered. The consequence of messing up at work would not be anything like the consequence of failing as a parent. I don't think people generally lie on their deathbed lamenting the time that a multi £1m building project was delayed by a week. People do lie on their deathbed wishing that they had nurtured their children better so that they didn't end up with drug issues, relationship problems etc (slightly drawing on RL experience of a family member here).

When you talk about impact on people's lives, this wasn't really relevant in my role but I agree that makes a difference to the level of responsibility you bear at work. Ultimately though, if you've had enough or you want out, you can quit and somebody will replace you (unless you're self employed I guess but there are always other jobs to take). Maybe not as easy as I'm making it sound but nobody is irreplaceable. However I am my child's only mother and if I mess up then the consequences of that could be life altering.

I definitely agree that lots of jobs are harder. I completely disagree that there are lots of jobs with more responsibility.

Bringing up two small bereaved children whilst mourning my DH? Yes, it's the hardest most relentless job I've done, even perhaps including single handedly providing DH's end-of-life care, which nearly killed me.

Really? No. Its not like you have responsibility for thousands of lives, or risk death on a daily basis is it?