To think my Shit year has just got worse

[spikelovesbuffy]

I think I am just venting .im sitting in the dark with no clue what to do next .
Please be gentle ,I am so low right now .
I have just found Condoms in my 'd'h pockets.
He doesn't know that Iv found them yet .
I can hardly breath with the hurt .
I want to go and punch his fucking lights out ,but I can't show him my hurt .
There is no innocent explanation for the condoms ,I know this .
I just want to walk out the door and keep walking .
25 fucking years !
Fuck fuck fuck ,

Nothing helpful to add but didn't want to read and run. So sorry you're going through this - massive hugs. Xxxxxxxxx

Poor you OP, nobody deserves this.Same happened to me some time ago. Play your cards close to your chest if you can. Gather yourself and then I confront him.

OP you are recovering from
Cancer right ? So I am guessing that getting a job and the usual advice we give might not be valid if you are cooing with the aftermath etc .

Bless you - other than H have you anyone that has your back in RL ?

God this is terrible. I suppose you could just let it ride, it could be a phase, this happens in long marriages and it might just blow over. He may not want to end the marriage.
I forgave my husband the first time but blew him out of the water the second time - I didn't need the grief as I wasn't that keen on him and his lifestyle any more anyway.
But yes it could pass. I know for sure my parents very long marriage has survived incidents like this.

Aw Spike.

How come you're not entitled to benefits?

A family member was diagnosed with cancer & as well as her mortgage being paid off (via insurance policy) she was entitled to higher rate DLA (that's changed now I don't know what it is)

Do you (as in you both) own the house?

Sorry, am just trying to be practical rather than furious.

He's one fool. I can't imagine he wasn't good at looking after you after watching my family member's partner, he was/is pure gold.

Easier said than done but it seems to me you'd be better off rid.

I hope if your dd reads this she works out it's you & can help.

I don't know how to thank you all .every single one of you has been nothing but kind and gentle .and you got me through a really difficult night .
I have a lot of decisions to make ,and still a lot to sort out in my head .
I am going to leave the thread now ,I am feeling a good bit stronger and will be able to cope with whatever is to come .
I will probably name change,but I wanted you all to know how great you are .before I do .
Thanks again ,you are alls

Wishing you strength and good health for the journey ahead, Spike.

Come back with this current name anytime you want.

What you need to do is know the answers before he lies to you, this will require some investigations, get hold of his phone and search it, search his internet history, on all devices...

be a detective, the fact he found condoms suggest either he is visiting a lady of the night or using an app for hook ups, as if he was having an actually affair they would probably not use them (not definite)

you can install secretly stuff on his phone to track it etc

You're incredibly strong, OP, and if you ever want to talk privately you know where I (and others) are.