Mums tell off their kids!

[ummmmmokthen]

Had a visit of a very close friend yesterday our children a year apart (hers older) and as soon as he got here he was snatching toys of my very quiet and timid dd, he was climbing on my windows opening them I was saying don't do that as dd will copy and it's dangerous. Then started throwing and broke one of dd toys leaving her in tears many times smacking her away from her toys and at one point kicked her in the stomach when she tried getting her toy back, all of this time mum occasionally shouted no while on her phone. I understand some kids can be sly naughty but my dd was just staring at him bewildered and looking at me.

They left not long later her ds kicking my doors all the way through the hall.

She has just text asking to come round... I have to say I'm busy.

Yep just say you're busy, I definitely wouldn't have them round again.

Sorry I can't, I'm busy buying dd new toys and fixing the dents in my walls behind my doors.

Oops it was meant to say "Mums who don't tell of their kids"

She was fixed to her phone, what are you supposed to do in these situations?

Dd was holding a toy in her hand and I had hear going ow ow and he was trying to force her hand open to get the toy.

Did she spend all the time of her visit to you on her phone? That's rude enough.

Why did you not say something? Your child looks to you to protect her. You should tell the mother no and be very clear why.

It is irritating when parents turn.a blind eye to bad behaviour.

I would say, DD was quite upset by the visit especially as one of her favourite toys was broken, perhaps when there are a little older. If she is a good friend. Offer to meet up with just the two of you

Say you'd rather meet in the park, it was a bit full on having the DCs together at your home.

Why was your close friend at your house glued to her phone? Wasn't she chatting to you? What odd behaviour!

Say no, DD was upset after her DS's last visit

She doesn't sound like a good friend if she spent the whole visit on her phone refusing to engage with you or her child!

Why didnt you tell him off. I know its her job but your house your rules!

I'd have pulled his hand away and told him he was naughty and if he didn't stop I'd take him over to his mum, on phone or not, and say "please ask him to stop hurting my child" ... will serve her right in a few years when she can't control him at all though

What do you do in those situations?
You step in and you protect your own child!

Sorry but I'm not sure why you would wait for the mum to do something when she clearly wasn't going to do it.
As for being in her phone, why did she come to see you?

I wouldn't have them around either, kids will be kids and the younger the less aware of their actions but that just means you deal with it differently - whilst still dealing with it! It sounds like she was after free childcare rather than company.

I tell other peoples kids off

If their parents can't be bothered and it involves my kids then I don't see the problem. I don't shout or anything just a firm 'no throwing/hitting' etc.

There's one child in particular that never gets told off my their parents (or even watched by them)and honesty has a 'look' that says I can do anything I want as said child is terrorising all the other kids!

I'd definitely be busy indefinitely in this case op or as others have said meet up at a park etc.

What FrancisCrawford said.

Best to meet this friend without her son in future, I think.

Does he go to a nursery or any playgroups etc. yet? If not, she will soon get the hint about his inadequate behaviour when he starts going there and it's not welcome.

my dd was just staring at him bewildered and looking at me.

That's because she was waiting for you to step in and protect her.

What you do is tell off the other child, physically removing your DD if necessary. Physically removing the toys he's smashing if necessary.

There's no need to stand passively by while a child runs riot in your home.

Children in my home follow my rules and standards of behaviour. I'm very happy to enforce rules and behaviour if their parent doesn't.

I've never yet fallen out with anyone over it.

I'd have told him off. If he kept repeating the behaviour I'd have suggested they left.

I haven't got time for shitty behaviour in my home.

There's so much unlikely wrong about the situation in the OP.

Obviously even if neither of you had a child it would be beyond weird for a "close friend" to go to your house and sit glued to her phone.

It is also beyond weird to sit in your living room watching another child hurt yours.

It's almost the weirdest thing of all to now be in doubt about whether to let her come over again, if that's why you're posting?

She clearly isn't your close friend unless she was glued to the phone dealing with some huge and urgent crisis and was at yours so you could watch her kid for her - in which case you should have treated him as if he were your own in terms of discipline.

Of course I protected her, I told her to come and stay by me and told the boy no so many times.

When I said what to do in these situations I mean when the child is being naughty and the parent is doing nothing about it, it's hard because it's really annoying I feel I couldn't tell someone else kid off.

His mum said no a couple of times but he didn't listen once. He started spitting and I said to him no don't spit because dd will copy. Mum was totally oblivious he must always be like it.

Agree it was rude sitting on her phone I tried making conversation but barely did and felt the whole time I was watching the kids and saying no.

Another one here asking why was she on her phone the whole time? Does she want to come round again today and just sit glued to her phone? Perhaps she has mistaken you for the local cafe. I would say that no, your DD was upset as he broke toys & hurt her. She sounds like a rubbish friend anyway!

I never sat and watched my child get hurt I pulled her away and told him no so many times of course I wouldn't sit and watch another child hurt mine, as soon as I heard her going ow I felt really angry and moved her away. I think there's only so much you can say to another persons child though without an argument

She was on Facebook. She left not long afterwards probably because I was constantly saying no and moving the kids away from each other.

I would have got on the floor in between them to physically block any snatching/hurting.
And I wouldn't have them around again. I don't expect/want to have to parent other people's children hen they are there.

I would have just said "No George stop doing that please you are hurting DD which is naughty" Then I would step it up to "George I told you earlier to play nicely with DD and if I see you Snatching/Hitting etc etc again I will ask your mum to take you home" then if he does it again I would suggest to your friend that she takes DS home and that you should meet up without the children another time.